hi all! was hoping to get some opinions on this matter please!
i had my nikah/shadi in summer 2011 in the US and my walima has been delayed until sep/oct 2012 in pakistan
my MIL has said it will be more like a big party than a wedding kind of thing (i.e. no stage- very sad abt that btw)
so i’m wondering if it is still ok to dress like a bride (have heavy eye makeup, mehndi, etc) and also wear the dupatta on my head? i really would like to, as it’s the only opportunity i’ll get again in my life to wear a veil, but not sure if people will think i look silly? (esp since would have already been married for over a yr by then iA) also, i’ve never been to Pak- so i don’t want everyone to think i’m weird
The party is being thrown for you and your husband, so you should shine for this event. If you want to wear hte dupatta on your head, the heavy makeup, etc, then go for it. You won't look silly at all. It is still a wedding function after all, even if there is no stage.
I agree. Particularly as its the first time you're going to Pakistan so you're gonna be seeing loadsa people who you've never met before - you'll still be a dulhan to them! My cousin got married in pak then two years later came to London, & when she came she started dressing like a dulhan again at peoples houses for daavats etc, cus everyone was new & hadn't seen her before!
I actually had the same exact dilemma for my wedding reception! I had my heart set on having dupatta on my head. But...My fiance and I are planning the wedding and I know that I won't be sitting on stage. In fact, at my wedding reception...there is no stage. And once dinner is over...the DJ will take over and 80% of the crowd will be on the dance floor.
My fiance told me that I can have dupatta on my head if I want to...BUT he'd still like me to able to join him on the dance floor and he doesn't want to hear any complaints about me being uncomfortable b/c of the dupatta.
After A LOT of thinking....I decided not to have the dupatta on my head. B/C at the end...I know my fiance is right. Once the dancing starts...everyone will be dancing...and yes, it will be uncomfortable for me to dance for several hours with the dupatta on. At the end of the day....I want to look good AND be comfortable during my reception.
So with your situation....as long as YOU will be comfortable with the dupatta on your head.....that's all that matters. In desi weddings...people will "talk" no matter what. Just focus on making yourself comfortable. :)
thanks for your story! by reception do you mean your shaadi reception or walima?
i didn’t think about the dancing aspect, hmmmm… i’m not sure if there even will be dancing at the walima..
you said everyone “talks” at desi weddings..what is it that everyone talks about? like complaining and making fun of the bride?? yikes, i hope not- else i can only imagine what ppl said abt me at my shaadi!
I’m talking about my shaadi reception (our’s is a more Americanized wedding…almost 50% of the guests are white).
Since you mentioned there is no stage…how will be evening go? Will you and your husband still be sitting most of the time OR will you two be walking around the room mingling with the guests? It’s important to find out exactly what’s going to happen during the event and how much “moving around” you’ll be doing…b/c I imagine it’ll be uncomfortable if your dupatta is heavy and you’re having to walk a lot.
By “talking” I mean with desis…(people in general)…you can’t please everyone. Some guests at the wedding might think you look with “silly” with the dupatta on…and on the filp side…there might be people who think you look “silly” without it! Either way you lose…lol. That’s why it’s best to focus on what will make you and your husband feel comfortable on that day.
I had a similar Walima/Party held in Pakistan, I didn't wear a dupatta on my head. Instead went for a party look with heavy eyemakeup & a half up hair do.
i’m pretty sure we’ll be moving around the whole time- not completely sure tho- but at the wedding my hubby mingled A LOT (as in, i couldn’t find him 80% of the time because he was talking to everyone), and since there’s going to be no stage that gives him even more reason not to sit
you know- i just thought- did you consider wearing your dupatta on your head for the first part of the wedding and then going for a quick freshen up/ dupatta re-do before the dancing starts?
oy- ppl should just be nice- there’s no reason to talk/gossip about everyone!
I had a similar Walima/Party held in Pakistan, I didn't wear a dupatta on my head. Instead went for a party look with heavy eyemakeup & a half up hair do.
that's cool-how heavy was your jora? did you still feel "bride-like"? was your walima long after your shaadi?
that's cool-how heavy was your jora? did you still feel "bride-like"? was your walima long after your shaadi?
My jora was pretty heavy, it was a long jacket style with an under layer kameez that had kaam on too. I had my dupatta pinned to one side, although I did end up takin it off and put it around my arms towards d end.
My nikkah & rukhsati took place in England & Walima was in Pakistan after 2years lol.
As I was d centre of attention cuz it was d first time I was meeting hubby's all extended family n relatives I did feel bride like. Infact it was my decision to not have a stage, I'd suggested to my hubby & his parents were happy with it. The party felt more relaxed than formal & tensed.
My jora was pretty heavy, it was a long jacket style with an under layer kameez that had kaam on too. I had my dupatta pinned to one side, although I did end up takin it off and put it around my arms towards d end.
My nikkah & rukhsati took place in England & Walima was in Pakistan after 2years lol.
As I was d centre of attention cuz it was d first time I was meeting hubby's all extended family n relatives I did feel bride like. Infact it was my decision to not have a stage, I'd suggested to my hubby & his parents were happy with it. The party felt more relaxed than formal & tensed.
that's great you still felt like a bride after 2 yrs! i'm glad it all worked out well for you!
now i feel okay about having mine after 15or 16 months :)
btw did you wear lehnga underneath or those wide pants?
that's great you still felt like a bride after 2 yrs! i'm glad it all worked out well for you!
now i feel okay about having mine after 15or 16 months :)
btw did you wear lehnga underneath or those wide pants?
They were lose/wide pants & I got bridal mehndi done too, I was wearing half sleeves although I like long arms plus their in fashion now too.
Don't worry about it hun, inshallah it'll go well for u! :) x
