I have been sponsored to study overseas by my uncles wife (Chachi). This is a very good opportunity for me and my family as we are not that well off at the moment. Basically my family is all for it to send me there and let me stay with them.
The thing is this Aunt has a reputation for ripping people off, taking money from them etc etc. When my Parents asked her okay how much do we owe you regarding the sponsorship. Her reply was that don’t worry I will sort it out with your daughter. My concern is that I dont want things between the families to turn sour just cause of me.
I am scared when I go there I only have a limited amount of Money, to $5000 to be exact and that what should I do if I get there and the bill that she has already made up exceeds that. And that the amount does not stop…
On the other hand she does not or has not done any bad dealings in the past. Hence it seems that she is doing it out of the goodness of her heart.
I am already not that well off but I try not to let on. Lets see what happens, any ideas on how to encounter such an situation where I will only be with her for about 10 days and move on from there. I am thankful to her for her efforts but I keep on thinking that what happens if I am endlessly paying her off, forever.
lots of things to be considered.. first off which country are you going to?will you be getting any scholarships? how long is your course of study? If you are coming to the US, I have to say that even for a public univeristy 5K is an expense for just one semester including tution fees, books, room, etc (and sometimes more for an international student) if you are staying with relatives, it may be less but still there are so many required expenses that you definitely need to be aware of them in advance!!
Also, you can definitely ask your chachi to sort out things even before you go there because that will most likely effect your decision.. ocne she knows that you are not going to take surprises, she may not create any problems.. just make s ure you know what you are getting into though!
I personally don't feel comfortable with a vague response of "we'll sort it out" when it comes to money. Ask your parents to talk to your aunt again....and have them tell your aunt (nicely) that for our own peace of mind....and also to make things easy for her (your aunt)....we'd prefer it if you'd let us know about how much exactly we owe you for the sponsorship. Just get it cleared before hand.
If you're going to be living with her for a while.........then have your parents can ask her how much (estimate) does she think it would cost to have you stay with her (food/bills, etc). Sort it out from the get-go. You could get your chachi to email you some numbers. And then print it out. So you'll have it as evidence in your record...in case problems arise in the future.
If you're eventually going to move out...I don't see how you'd be paying her back "endlessly." You'd have a job....your own place...you'll find a means for transportation...so you won't have to rely on her as much or at all even.
5k is nothing for an international student. I live as cheaply as I can and I still pay around 10k - 15k every semester (most of it is tuition). Like the others said, it all depends on which country you're going to, what your working towards (undergraduate, post graduate) and how long your period of study is. If your aunt charges you any more than $650 for a 10 stay, refuse it. You can live cheaper at a motel (considering only food and lodging). You can live even cheaper if you get a room mate, but that requires advanced planning.
I hope this 5 grand isn't for your school tuition because here in Canada internation students pay double, so if I pay 5 grand per semester, you'd pay 10. Regardless, try to stand on your own feet as soon as possible, and there is much support for international students,maybe even wellfare.
Sort out money situation with aunt and let her know you want to come fully prepared
There are many steps involved in becoming an international student:
1. Application
2. The tests [such as TOEFL, GRE, GMAT of applicable]
3. The visa
4. The travel
5. The tuition and expenses
No one needs to "sponsor" you. You can come here to study on your own without knowing a single person.
Okay maybe I need to go into detail. I applied for a student visa for NZ and got in. My Chachi also lives there and they had to provide support. They provided the application fee, also accomodation costs at the hostel etc....to reserve a place. They are just being too vague about it. I am qualified and have a lectureship program lined up so they know that i will be earning well. But I am just scared that the bills can mount up. And It might be that I will be paying them endlessly. I am not expected to challenge or dispute anything as they are acting like they are doing me a favour technically they are cause without showing that I have a sponsor i would not have gotten a visa.
But the bills could range from phone bills, as they ring endlessly. to petrol to anything.
I just dont know how to react or how to go about it if its more than I can afford.
If you're eventually going to move out...I don't see how you'd be paying her back "endlessly." You'd have a job....your own place...you'll find a means for transportation...so you won't have to rely on her as much or at all even.
Well you know some people can think, okay she stayed wiht us for 10 days, now she owes us ofr life....i dont konw if the aunt is like that but there are people like that who will always throw it back in another persons face...
The thing is this Aunt has a reputation for ripping people off, taking money from them etc etc.
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On the other hand she does not or has not done any bad dealings in the past. Hence it seems that she is doing it out of the goodness of her heart.
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I don't understand this, because those two statements seem to contradict each other, can u please elaborate?
Um, she's your chachi right? So why do you care?! Stay with her, take advantage of the situation, get your education and job and move out. Best thing about desi money arrangements - nothing is ever on paper, so legally she'll never be able to hold you to anything. Just make sure she never makes you sign anything shady, and you'll be fine. Once you're working, married and have a life of your own nobody will care, even if she tries to get money from you later on you can just ignore her and be like "I've paid whatever I needed to pay, now leave me alone." Family relationships always turn sour over time no matter what, some people just need an excuse to fight with their relatives, might as well fight with them over something that gave you a good education and a better life. And if she has a bad reputation to start with, nobody will believe her crap anyway and will end up sympathizing with you. Plus she's old, and is married to your dad's brother - I don't see how she can be in a more dominating position over you once you have your degree in your hands and have a job and a good salary and have moved back home. So just milk it while you can!
^ You aren't very well versed in contract law are you? Oral agreements are just as valid as any other, and courts keep unjust enrichment in mind when deciding equitable remedies in cases of disputes. Best thing is to have an agreement on paper whereby your aunt will be required to have you authorize any charges made for you that she can add to your debt. Don't let her ring up your debt whenever she wants. Just keep an updated balance of the charges with yourself and have your aunt verify it every now and then to make sure your on the same page, and if she adds anything suspicious to your charges question her. Tell her you'd be more comfortable keeping a journal and knowing the up to date amounts of the debt. Shouldn't be a problem, I did the same with an uncle.
Well, first of all...have an idea of how much you are expected to spend while here.
If you're only staying with her for 10 days...how will that exceed the 5K you have right now? You might spend a couple of hundred dollars and thats being fairly generous.
Are you thinking of paying her back for the application fees and whatnot?
No matter if it uncle, chachi, bhai, behen or x,y, z, if it comes to money, "o koi nahi, phir daikh leen gai" or "we will sort it out" never works. Money talk should be upfront and should be dealt with at earliest possible time.
"we will sort it out" is the first sign that something is not right..... why you still need to sort it out when you should already know how much you have spent?
eve honey i think out of every0one's advice u should take giggles' .. fairness stuff doesnt work with tricky people .. u got deal wiht them the way they are ..