Re: we were on a BREAK…
You are not the only one who used logic. 
Re: we were on a BREAK....
^^ being a man I always do and i apologize for that, i have, unfortunately, been programmed like that :(
Re: we were on a BREAK…
^ 
Re: we were on a BREAK....
In that case maybe my mum should ask the girls mother if she can cook or clean.... afterall she would want to make sure that my brother is taken care of.
obviously....u dotn want sum bumb struck woman to be married to ur brother who just likes to be pamperd and do nothing round the house.....
im not looking for n argument im just saying that if my son was to be married i would firstly make sure he is independent and has a place of his own etc etc so they next girl will be comfortable and wont find ways to point fingers at her in-laws (meaning me)..:)
rest i'll leave up to my son to see wot he choses....whether he will take care of me as a mother in my burhapa pun is entirley up to him im not gona force him into anything..:)
Re: we were on a BREAK…
hehe ur SIL came in between again…
…jaan nuhi chorti ye sahib zada……
im happy to see things worked out for u and ur hubby…may u both live happily aameen…
Re: we were on a BREAK....
I would side with the girl's family in this case. The girl's father should be concerned about how his daughter is going to live after her marriage. The only thing that I find wrong with what the girl's father did in this case is that he waited too long to find out about her accomodation and to express his concerns about it. If he did that from the beginning, then maybe the man's family wouldn't have thought that they were greedy. Having a suitable accomodation is the right of the wife, so it's very reasonable for her parents to be concerned about it. The inability or the unwillingness of the would be husband/inlaws to provide that would definitely cause me to question their suitability.
hmmm ur right.......he took his time coz he din wana mess anything up and once he was given the word from the son's father he took that word and din question nething further until few weeks before the wedding.......u have to respect eachother a lot in this......rishte jorne aasaan hote hein mugur nibhana bohut mushqil...u have to tread v carefully in this as both sides are stranger to eachother and obviously u want ur kids happiness in every cost...
Re: we were on a BREAK....
Disclaimer: I am a man, and I apologize fr the logic you will see in my post below.
Why is it the responsibility of the parents of the boy to buy him a house? I see a lot of immaturity from the girl's parents on this issue. First of all if these people could afford a bigger house they would have bought it much before the rishta. Why would a family living in cramped conditions wait for a shadi in their house? I see their compromising attitude when space was brought up as an issue and they promised that they will look for one, and from what the initial post suggests they did look for one but unfortunately the deal broke down. They still did the next best thing and rented a house for the new couple.
I fully understand the girl's father's wish of expecting a good lifestyle for her daughter, but it seems quite selfish that he expected others to provide it. If that was such a big issue and beyond the means of the other side,
What kind of demands were put up by the groom's side at the time of the marriage that the bride's side felt comfortable in putting up wih such a demand? What happened to all the respect that we had in our culture? When did marriage become a financial deal? What happened to judging the man to be a responsible person, his qualities should tell you weather he will be able to provide your daughter a good living or not, putting up such demands is simply cheap.
Personally I consider house a dead investment. I have invested in real estate most of which I have already sold towards the end of last year and moved on to other investments. I built a house, which is in my dad's name and I do not consider that my house and I do not plan to get one immediately after marriage (at least at this point in time). Right now I see more beneficial investments in the market and I am focused on maximizing growth. Even if I do buy property it will probably be because a good deal was available and it will surely not be for living in it myself. I do not wish to discuss this with my future in-laws. They should look at my education, my current job position, the compatibility between me and their daughter and then make the decision. They have no right to ask me to buy a house for their daughter. If they believe it is beyond my means, dont give the rishta.
i agree man...
where is the girl suppose to go for the first night on her marriage?.....if they dont have a room in their house and there is nothing available on rent as they hadnt planned for that either until the last minute where was she suppose to go?.....and yes the girl side never demnaded for anything......the father of the son mentioned himself....we wil issue the house from our side to the girl....we will do everything as its a gift from us and she will see it before the wedding...wot happened to this?....
yes they did the next best thing and rented her a house which she is happy with now but y bring up the hype of a house wen its not gona happen?......the deal fell through few months before the wedding and rather then telling us thats wots happened instead they blamed her parents of ebign greddy...!!!!....is that fair?...
he would have bote her the house if he was up for it but if the guy's parents had already announced it first 1 year before the wedding.......wot were her parents did was jus wait.....
ashtray i guess ur ryt, u myt not want to buyt he house for ur wife if u feel she will be happy living with ur parents thats fine BUTY wot happenes wen ur parents house is sooo small thats it'll be hard for the two of u to even have a room to urself?.....wudnt u consider sumthing then?......
and yes at the end the girl dd get married to the guy instead of the house....she did marry without the house and moved out 2 weeks after the wedding to the rented place....so the girls father wasnt greedy coz he did marry his daughter at the end of the day without the house.....im jus saying......dont say sumthing if ur not gonna do it, dont get naybody's hype up for no reason......be honest, be plain and calm
Re: we were on a BREAK…
wow, well my parents never made any such demands from my fiance or his family. Not about their house, properties, investments, or anything. In fact, alhamdullillah, thus far, both sets of parents are getting along great. 
knock on wood
If her family could see that he most likely would not be able to give her the kind of lifestyle they wanted for her, then they should have thought twice about the rishta. Yeah, the boy’s side mislead them, which is plain wrong. They should have also been up front about it … honest and calm like you said Aashi.
Re: we were on a BREAK…
provided u got a place to stay after u got married?..a room, an apartment, anything?
mashallah may u live like this happily for soo many more year to cum..
Re: we were on a BREAK…
Makes sense :k:
i don’t disagree w/ having their own home..but that shouldn’t be the first thing they ask nor the sole reason to build their rishta..
Re: we were on a BREAK....
^^
true...
Re: we were on a BREAK....
provided u got a place to stay after u got married?...a room, an apartment, anything?
mashallah may u live like this happily for soo many more year to cum..:)
We have our own place to stay. Even then, my parents are just not the type to want to know the financial history/assets of my fiance.
There's a lot of families out there who ask about salary, assets, etc. even if the guy has his own place. I have a brother who is at the age for marriage, has his own place, fully established, able to support a wife and kids .... we wouldn't want anybody treating him like that or making demands, so my parents don't treat their damats like that either.
Re: we were on a BREAK....
I feel for her. No one should have to see their father in so much pain
Re: we were on a BREAK....
I read the first post but didn't read people's responses, so pardon me if my question has already been asked and answered:
I kept reading "boys parents will buy him a house" over and over again. I believe the boy was 30? Whatever the age may be, why the heck couldn't the guy get a house/apartment on his own? Why did the parents have to buy him a house? If he's not old/mature enough to get his own place, may be it wasn't time to get married?
Anyway, this is old story now, they are married and it's been 2 years, but I just couldn't go beyond "his parents were going to buy him a house"........WHY PARENTS AND NOT HIM?
Re: we were on a BREAK....
I read the first post but didn't read people's responses, so pardon me if my question has already been asked and answered:
I kept reading "boys parents will buy him a house" over and over again. I believe the boy was 30? Whatever the age may be, why the heck couldn't the guy get a house/apartment on his own? Why did the parents have to buy him a house? If he's not old/mature enough to get his own place, may be it wasn't time to get married?
Anyway, this is old story now, they are married and it's been 2 years, but I just couldn't go beyond "his parents were going to buy him a house"........WHY PARENTS AND NOT HIM?
^ I believe she said it was supposed to be a gift from them. Which, IMO, is garbage. Hello they have their own place (even if it's just rent)... maybe it will take more time for htem to be in a position to own their home, but it will be worth it..if the parents really want to get them a gift, furnish the house!
Re: we were on a BREAK....
^ I believe she said it was supposed to be a gift from them. Which, IMO, is garbage. Hello they have their own place (even if it's just rent)... maybe it will take more time for htem to be in a position to own their home, but it will be worth it..if the parents really want to get them a gift, furnish the house!
Oh ok, I thought someone must've asked this question...........but Exactly!!! Take the first step and your parents can help. Don't expect the parents to take the first step and you'll just help them. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with living with the family, but in this particular situation where 7 people are already living in a 3 bedroom house, it's hard for a new person to adjust.
Re: we were on a BREAK....
I read the first post but didn't read people's responses, so pardon me if my question has already been asked and answered:
I kept reading "boys parents will buy him a house" over and over again. I believe the boy was 30? Whatever the age may be, why the heck couldn't the guy get a house/apartment on his own? Why did the parents have to buy him a house? If he's not old/mature enough to get his own place, may be it wasn't time to get married?
Anyway, this is old story now, they are married and it's been 2 years, but I just couldn't go beyond "his parents were going to buy him a house"........WHY PARENTS AND NOT HIM?
the boy isnt able to buy his own palce coz the father says we will buy u the place its a gift from us....so the son cant do anything about it yet or couldnt do anything about......he was more then happy to buy his own place but then the issue became 'there greedy for ur money' is where he stopped..........
Re: we were on a BREAK....
^ I believe she said it was supposed to be a gift from them. Which, IMO, is garbage. Hello they have their own place (even if it's just rent)... maybe it will take more time for htem to be in a position to own their home, but it will be worth it..if the parents really want to get them a gift, furnish the house!
thats the thing they were jus waiting on the house....'if' they do wana buy it them let them.....myt aswell wait......but this issue has been long gone i guess.......but they both sometimes start having arguments on it again.....that y it initially happened and y did 'my' parents get hurt coz of u.....
Re: we were on a BREAK....
Oh ok, I thought someone must've asked this question...........but Exactly!!! Take the first step and your parents can help. Don't expect the parents to take the first step and you'll just help them. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with living with the family, but in this particular situation where 7 people are already living in a 3 bedroom house, it's hard for a new person to adjust.
exactly.....and the in-laws knew that thats y they had promised for the house they knew the girl will have difficulty.......but instead of bringing it up in a hype they could have sed we'll get them a rented accommodation and the rest we'll see.....sau bismillah!!!
Re: we were on a BREAK…
heheheh yeah har baat par aise hota hai is liye we have become full of surprices now;)
thanks for your dua:) means a lot!