thanks to all replies excpet PCG AND CM...dont bother next time.
yeah he did tell me beforehand, it was well known he wanted to go back..and its not for financial reasons, its because he feels its his responsibility to look out for his parents as most boys feel. his bro is too young and immautre and is still studyng, he has a few years to go yet....so the situation was well known too me, however life there seems to be getting worse. then again, people who love there say its ok, not as bad as the media are making out.
my in laws mashallah are well off, so thats not an issue.
husband has no patriotic attachment to pak, just because of his family thats all, who dont want to move. i gues its the same here, i remember when there waas a bit of hositle racisim here in the uk and few stabbingsthat too took place,, i told my mum and dad to move, but they didint..same way neither are his parents.its easier to say move then do it. i undersatand what they saying. cant help but feel resentment though.
Nice to know you are being supportive. However, this really should be a lesson to girls out there. If you want to live in a particular country, you have a right to. Make sure the guy is agreeable to it, and get it signed as part of your nikkahnama.
I don't know if he promised he'd stay in the UK and then backtracked on his words, or what...but nice to know there are people out there who are willing to make a saccrifice...its just...
You don't have to, you know.
whats the matter with you, wyy are you sooo uptight. signing where you will live in a nikah?AND NO he didnt backtrack, did you not read my post, i said i mentioned ayear or so earlier he wanted to go back for his mum dad because they were not willing to move here, so really its my fault. before we jump on the bandwagon of i bet hes a passport grabber`, he aint. he has no interest in it because he has a well off life there.
he didn say he couldnt leave his parents no matter what, i resented that but then i thought thats how i am. if i was a guy i would never leave mine either.
nadz123.. i think you should look at the bigger picture. He is moving for his parents and sister. The halat in Pakistan are bad but not unbearable. If his parents are enjoying their life in Pakistan and not willing to move than there must be something good going on there :)
And an even bigger picture.. you will be there with your hubby.. happiness isn't in pakistan or uk or canada.. its where you loved ones are. You love your hubby (and i am sure you do) and show him the support.. he will be yours when you get there. I am sure he is not 100% confident on the move either.. but ur support can make him strong and vice-versa.
In our case my hubby moved from pakistan to U.S. It was very difficult for him to leave his family, friends and his whole culture he grew up in.. but my parents had made very clear to his family that I couldn't live there and that they wanted to be very straight about it because it was a serious issue they wanted to discuss before marriage. All worked out well Alhudulliah he has gotten used to here and loves me and our daughter dearly.. The point is sometimes having the whole family helps make situations like these much easier to adapt to.
coolgirl-where is ur hubby from...what area...normally when they are from villages or poorer backgrounds they dnt mind their sons living here..however his parents are very well off, and have been here on holidays, and see how we live, and they were not as impressed as we would like to think. and with u, you made it clear, i said i would be ok with moving, however now im getting cold feet. so really its my own mess not his. he was straightfoward from the start. :
What exactly are you getting cold feet about? Living in joint family, away from your family, british life style, massis and all the servant help, dependence for driving, load shedding, etc?
nadz… i think you’ll be fine … as long as you get used to the staring
I love love love going to Pakistan, but the minute I land there… I’m like SH**, WTH… I can put up with the garmi, the load-shedding, the mosquitos, the flies, etc. etc… and I LOVE the food… yummm, I miss the food … its the staring that sooooo gets under my skin
Islamabad in this category I think is much much better than Karachi, if thats where you’re moving to. I’m sure you’ll have a great life there… help with the baby, help with household chores, great social life, etc… thori independence kum ho jaati hai buss, like you can’t just get up and drive to the bazar alone if you want to, but life is good there if you’re well off financially.
P.S. They recommend babies can travel after they turn 2 months (cuz of the immunity and the vaccine schedule) but I’ve seen women taking 1 month olds too… I would recommend the 2 months mark.
… its the staring that sooooo gets under my skin 