Re: Way Too Self-Conscious?
i think your friends height is amazing, she would look so good with a guy whos like 6"1 or above ! whats she talking about! :)
and i believe having a fat nose is considered worse in pakistani society than having a a long nose. trust me i have a big nose too, its not crooked though, but even if it was, nothing a little contouring wouldnt have fixed . i can understand where shes coming from though...
i never thought i was pretty when i lived in pakistan. people would always pity me for having "dark" skin . i knew half of them werent that fair "naturally" anyway since they piled on those tubes of fairness creams and all, i didnt , and i got ridiculed like crazy i tell you. girls would openly point out to me how dark i was and the nicer ones would give me tips on wearing colours that wouldnt make me look so kali.
i tried not to let it all get to me, but as a kid you just want to be accepted i guess, so i would feel pretty miserable at times i remember.
in addition to that, i was considered abnormally tall in school. i remember standing last in line in every so called "assembly" we had in school, and sitting on the last bench in class everytime as well because as the teacher said " the shorter people wont be able to see if you sit in front :@". that lowered my self esteem as well. i thought i was a giant or something :(
it was only after i turned 18 and left pakistan for the west, did i really realize what jahil society i was living in pak. over here ,my skin is complimented for its shine and smoothness. ive grown to be 5'6 and im still dwarfed by a lot of women over here. i wear heels to look taller, and am still shorter than my fiance who is 6"2, who by the way, still thinks im short :)
iv;e also come to realize those stupid girls in school were undergrown midgets who piled on those fairness creams because of their own insecurities with their looks, i look back and pity them now.
honestly people will never be happy with your looks unless you look like ashwariya ria or something, they will find ways to demean you and discredit you for looking the way you do. you just have to not let it get to you somehow :)
You explained that jahil mentality so well. I too was the tallest in school and always at the back during assembly. My stupid relatives used to call me stupid punjabi names for my sudden growth..... loosers. I'm weatish but never been rediculed for it as u have been. But yes when u do start growing up seeing those fairness cream commercials on tv and the fairer girls saying oh we dont need it we are the pretty fair girls, that did put some insecurities in me. Growing up in pakistan is the hardest thing ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wish i never have to take my kids there other than short visits. Kids in the west grow up with so much self confidence and high self esteem which is so much important for the overall development of personality.
Back to the original post... i think long nose looks nice and i sooo wish i was as tall as her, im 5'6''. I would say stop caring what people say about your looks, we cannot change how Allah made us. All that counts is that her family and husband love her the way she is. Everybody is born with flaws and imperfections (be it big small nose, skin colour, height, weight etc) but if the personality is attractive all the so called flaws are ignored. Be good, humorous, kind hearted and loving and u will surely be loved by all, no matter how u look.