It’s very odd for me to see people age, particularly my parents. I noticed a few years ago that Dad started forgetting things more often than usual. I used to think to myself, why is this happening and I was reminded of how age affects each and every one of us. Something I often take for granted. My dad has always been someone who loves to relax so I didn’t notice much else with him, but I’m starting to notice it with my mom.
Ammi is the most active woman I know personally, Mash’Allah. Eventhough she is a housewife she normally doesn’t sit for more than a few moments. Recently however, Ammi is becoming more forgetful, and sometimes it scares me. She will leave the water boiling and just go outside and do work there, meanwhile forgetting the water is on the stove. It’s because she does 10,000 things at once. And now, she has slowed down in terms of the amount of work she used to do. Ammi watches TV for longer periods and whereas before Ammie would clean up everything, things get left now. I remember at one point I even got upset that mom hadn’t cleared some area eventhough mom stated she would do it. Then I checked myself and thought why do I have this expectation of mom doing everything, and how rude to get upset at my own mom when she does everything for us. Other things also make me a little upset sometimes but I check myself and tell myself that mom put up with me as a child making so many mistakes, and now its my turn to be patient.
I keep telling myself I am going to help out more, but I never do. So I offered to hire a maid to come in twice a month, but Ammi refused. She said she needs the exercise to clean the house. Noble indeed, but things just don’t get done as they used to, and I don’t know how to tell mom that. I don’t want Ammi to know that I know she is getting older. Sometimes late at night I just cry thinking of what a wonderful mother/parents I have and the fact that they are slowing down is so scary to me. It reminds me of just how short this life is. It’s so tough to imagine a world without them and I sincerely hope Allah grants a long, healthy life, Ameen.
The other day my Ammi asked me to say my namaz cause she knows I neglect prayers often, and I just mumbled something while staring at the computer screen. She walked away, then came back and said something like, “if you don’t pray for me, my own daughter, who is going to pray for me when I am gone; I need your prayers”. I cried so much that night. I felt like the worst person in the world. She is so right, I don’t make prayers so I don’t even pray for her when I can. I’ve neglected it all of my life.
It’s just all so scary, the thought of parents eventually going away (eventhough hopefully its only for a short time). All one can do is try to make the most of what they have, and cherish the times and try to make things easier for their parents. I pray Allah gives me and all of us the patience and ability to do so, Ameen.
Do you ever feel this way, and how do you deal with it? Do you talk to your parents about it? Thanks.
