By Matt Frei
BBC News, Washington
Different countries mourn their fallen in different ways.
The flag-draped coffins of Italian soldiers are applauded as they prepare to get lowered into the ground.
In Israel, relatives and friends display unfettered and unembarrassed grief as they throw themselves on the coffins.
In America, a democracy which worships its military more than any other I know, the ritual after death in battle is dignified, understated and wrapped in etiquette.
If you have any doubts about this, I suggest attending a burial at Arlington National Cemetery.
The undulating fields of gravestones peer out over the National Mall, the Lincoln Memorial and Capitol Hill.
In Washington, the prize of liberty is architecturally linked to the price of life.
Respect
This country owes its creation to the blood of its soldiers and never lets you forget it.
The military is a part of every day life. At virtually every airport you see soldiers returning from the front in Afghanistan or Iraq.
The radio is full of spots advertising discounts for military families. On Memorial Day, Independence Day and Veterans Day, our neighbours - who loathed George W Bush and his war in Iraq - hang out a super-sized Stars and Stripes.
I was on the shuttle flight to New York last month with the usual crowd of Capitol Hill staffers - a few congressmen, some agitated banking executives and napping lobbyists.
Suddenly, the captain announced that we had some soldiers on board who had just returned from Iraq. The whole plane erupted in applause. Respect for the military transcends party lines and opinions about war.
So it always struck me and my American friends as odd that the Bush administration maintained the ban on footage of the flag-draped coffins of fallen soldiers returning from Iraq.
The ban was first implemented by Mr Bush’s father during the first Gulf War, in an attempt to avoid the kinds of images that had undermined support for the Vietnam War.
“There is plenty of personal material to put a face, a name and a story to the awful statistics of war”
But the images themselves do not create a mood swing for or against a conflict, they merely underpin existing impressions.
The concealed coffins of Dover Air Force Base - a ban which has since been lifted by the Obama administration - mirrored the many veiled justifications for a war that was overshadowed by too many questions.
And so we come to Britain, a country that has gone to war more often than any of its European neighbours since World War II.
Britain fought the Falklands War in 1982 to much of the world’s astonishment.
For the Argentine writer Jorge Luis Borges it was like “two bald men fighting over a comb”.
Worthy cause
Britain relishes a just war. Lady Thatcher egged on President George Bush Sr to dispatch troops to Saudi Arabia after Saddam Hussein’s invasion of Kuwait.
British public opinion was far more enthusiastic about a military engagement in the boggy Balkans than the House of Commons.
It was Tony Blair who persuaded Bill Clinton to use force in Kosovo.
Apparently, the two had a stand-up row in the Oval Office with the British Prime Minister shaming the American President into action.
The Iraq war was the exception to the rule and Afghanistan is proving to be an interesting case.
After 9/11 there was very little opposition to the Afghan war.
The combination of going after al-Qaeda and removing a medieval regime that banned women’s education was considered a worthy cause.
The war appeared to be over almost before it began and warnings about the treacherous terrain of Afghanistan soon dissipated.
How things have changed.
In the space of two days last week, Britain lost eight soldiers, three of them just 18 years old.
Some of the soldiers had kept journals which have been reprinted in the press. Others had been featured on national TV before they were killed.
In other words, there is plenty of personal material to put a face, a name and a story to the awful statistics of war.
Insufficient armour
The town of Wootton Bassett, which is close to the air force base where coffins are flown into, has provided a chorus of grief.
Thousands of people lined the quaint streets on Tuesday to welcome back the fallen heroes.
Many cried. Others cheered. Uniformed veterans hung their heads in honour before applauding.
Wootton Bassett has done this 80 times since the beginning of the Afghan war and twice in the last week alone.
This is raw and unscripted grief, leavened by shock. Who knows where it will lead
Everyone is watching whether the beast of public outrage will stir once again.
It has done so often enough this year, most memorably over the MPs’ expenses scandal.
So far the picture is mixed. There have been some poignant questions about insufficient armour in Afghanistan.
They have been asked in some of the journals of the fallen soldiers, and repeated in the pub and on the floor of the House of Commons.
This is damaging and - almost inevitably - the government of the day will be blamed. Take cover, Gordon.
Every country hates the idea that its sons and daughters are being asked to risk their lives on the battlefield with dodgy equipment.
The latest opinion polls indicate that the public and parliament are still behind this war.
But the casualties mount, the possibility of defeat is discussed and the definitions of victory become increasingly woolly.
Britain still mourns its dead in Afghanistan with pride and applause. That may change if the cargo of coffins becomes more regular.
Meanwhile, Britain’s colonial history lingers uncomfortably on the sidelines.
In 1842, 16,000 men and their dependants evacuated Kabul after a disastrous occupation.
Only one of them, Dr William Brydon, a military surgeon survived.
The rest were killed by winter, hunger and Afghan tribesmen who resented the presence of armed foreigners and infidels on their soil.
The last thing that the British government now needs is for the public to start re-reading the history books.
*Matt Frei is the presenter of *BBC World News Americawhich airs every weekday on BBC News, BBC World News and BBC America (for viewers outside the UK only).
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