c it all depends on the left one's preference. if he/she at his/her own feels the lack of partner and has a long time ahead, specially if he is too young then it is better to let him go for it but if he is taking the loss other way round then it is not his need.
our relatives and gossip-monger in the shape of colleagues, family friends at times make the left one feel the loss and suggest forcefully the need of a partner so that bcums the factor of such marriages.
(All thoughts below are based on information provided)
Its not like he married the next day or something.
Man lost his spouse. Sad affair but real. Nothing he could do to bring her back.
He has someone to be with and son may not need to keep checking up on father so often.
It is not uncommon to see people lose interests in themselves when left alone and quality of their lives is adversely affected.
Marrying is good thing in general. What if he was doing the 'deeds' behind curtain?
u knw whats wrong...i knw a uncle who was 72 when his wife passed away and he married his servant who was only 19...his reasoning was that he needed somebody to take care of him...n this was with in 2 years of his wifes passing
now thats wrong...none of his kids talked to him 4 months...but guess what they were all in the US with their families and he was all alone in paki.
Hmmm, I cant see whats wrong/gunah abt it? The age difference?or getting married?
Well, there is someone in our acquaintances, who is over 74 years of age, has a wife still alive living with him, and four grown up kids and grand children too. But he is into forcing the maids working in the house, to have sex with him !
My dad remarried after a year, in fact, a couple of days after my mum died the family started looking for someone. I remember one aunty asking me who I wanted as a new mum.
From personal experience I think one should consider intentions as a factor. If the intentions are right then everything else will be too.
My grandad re-married about 4 months after my grandma died. He was 70+ and it pretty much tore the family into pieces, my mum and her brothers and sister just couldnt deal with it, and it lead to them not talking to him for months. They ended up patching things up but the family aura was never the same. He passed away a couple of years back, and i dont think he realised how badly it had affected his kids tilll his last days when he was really ill, his dying wish was for them all to forgive him but i dont think they really ever could. Its a shame really, the stress, the fights and the drama is what sent him to his grave. If either of my parents re-married i dont think i could ever forgive them, i mean i undrstand re-marrying if a person is widowed at a reasonable age but 50+ should be where the line is drawn.
^^^ why...dont they have needs (not talking abt sexual needs), what abt emt. needs, they need someone too.
i understand 4 months was tooooo quick but one year is a long time.
Its easy to force lonliness on ones parents and grandparents.. Islam has given the right to every individual to do a nikah in reasonable limits ... but it is jaaiz ...
if you believe you want to control your parents life then your parents should also be given the right to control yours when you were at the prime of your youth.
If kids can choose their life partners and rebel at home , then they must realize that their parents are human as well .
We are not hindu's , where they make the living spouse's life a living hell by implying all sorts of do's and dont's .. have a life and let others have one as well ..
I think his dad did the right thing, specially if he does not depends on anyone financially.
My mom passed away a long time ago and my dad never re-married. Eventhough he lives with my brother but he is lonely. We take care of him but he misses my mom alot. He said to me that there are certain things/emotions you can only share with your spouse. At old age you need spouse for companionship. I would not have understand it at that time but now I do.
My dad remarried after a year, in fact, a couple of days after my mum died the family started looking for someone. I remember one aunty asking me who I wanted as a new mum.
From personal experience I think one should consider intentions as a factor. If the intentions are right then everything else will be too.
could not agree with you more.
When my dad remarried we were mad as hell.
But Now we thank God he did. He had a long healthy life. It would not have been possible with out a wife.
at times most of the cases of such marriages turn out drastically unsuccessful. my mother died young and my father is in 50's. he doesn't feel any need of a 2nd marriage rather we play jokes with him regarding this issue. he visits my mother's grave more often n recites holy quran passionately. i feel proud at that time, this is a true companionship...............
Mirch, the reason I state that is because of conditionalities. Considering the boy who is upset that his mother passed away is one of the guppies work colleagues. Meaning the son's age is roughly 25 years old.
The father is 50 years of age. Give or take 5 years. The father is still relatively young by my low estimations. He doesn't need a second wife to live and enjoy life. More importantly whats the age of the second wife, if she is below 40, then this marriage is frankly unacceptable in my eyes. Marrying off young girls to a man twice in their age is frankly something I do not like about our culture.
This of course and other assumptions I am making are just that assumptions. Ideally if the father married someone closer to his age for the same of companionship and because they knew each other then its "okay". Don't agree with a second marriage so close to the death.
I personally suffer from the Knight and Shining Armor complex. Old fashioned in my ways. 1 year is too short a time span even if it feels like an eternity.
I know a couple with a 13 year gap between their ages and they seem very happy, Mashallah.
I would think the man should be able to do as he chooses, he is 50-freaking-years-old! Its HIS life! He doesnt need anyone's permission or approval to get married a second time.
He is not committing a sin, he is getting married! That too, after his wife has passed away. Im sure he loved her, took care of her, was with her until the end of her days but now she is gone and he is still here - ALONE.
Until you walk in someone's shoes, dont pass judgement, especially when the man isnt doing anything wrong.