to get married this year ? as from my previous thread… I recently got nikkahed, almost 2 months. Alhumdulliah very happy. But here is the story:
Our families approved, excited, they still are very happy… but Im feeling depressed about this. Im in college, and due to my future classes I wouldnt be able to get a vacation.. So family decided to have my nikkah done this summer, which just occurred.
Then as soon as I came back that is when money problem became an issue, paying my college tuition etc… Now when i become stubborn my mom consistently tells me that you know we went to dubai for you so you can get your nikkah done. And now money is an issue… could you not have waited like 2 more years.
I WAS IN SHOCK. Like I told my parents that in the future was going to be an issue for me having a vacation- so that is why I told them this year would be the best, and now my mom usually tells me this. I mean it’s not my fault, I did not force them. Nikkah is marraige- and this was in my destiny to get married this summer, so why do they say these negative things to me. Husband and I are very happy w/ each other. Alhumdullilah, but when these words come out from my own mother, I just tear up. I mean Marraige is a beautiful thing- how can she say this, even tho she wanted this to happen. It’s so hurtful to me when she says that we got you married, now dont say anything to us, i spent soo much money on you etc… even tho money has never been an issue in my family, but she jus said it to me and it just made me cry soo much, how can she say that to me?
^Oh I see. Yeh probably because she feels a little strained financially at the moment and is using you to release that stress. She probably doesn't mean it deep down in her heart. Try to ignore it if you can
So what's the issue? You're asking why your mum said you should've waited for another two years? Maybe because she was in a bad mood that day..?
she brought it up couple of times. Maybe I am just taking this to a whole new level- but the thought of her just saying this to me is hurtful. Like their not happy.
Parents say lame hurtful things It happens :( I guess if it's really bothering you, you can ask her directly if she's happy with your marriage or not. Although if she's the type to make such comments she's probably not gonna be the type to sit down and have a deep insightful discussion. It's not very desi-like lol! Like I said, she's probably going through a rough time / is being extra moody nowadays. Don't spend too much time with her whilst she's like this - just focus on your college studies for now. Your mum loves you and wants your happiness for sure. Just ignore her for now.
Thanks Princess121- Ill try to do that- college is starting tomorrow so studies are my major focus. Makes me wonder if Ill do this to my kids when I become a mom.
As you are married now..... you should have some monthly pocket money from your husband.... it will solve your money issues if you need money in future.
Maybe you should try understanding the position your parents are in. They just spent a huge chunk of money on your nikkah and are also paying your tuition fees even though you are capable of getting a job and chipping in. And now that they're finding it hard to make ends meet and got a bit angry at you you're 'depressed'.
If I was you I would get a part time job whilst studying and help my parents, they're obviously in a tight spot and you're capable enough to help, then why not?
Sorry if I misunderstood what you said and just ranted at you for no reason.