Alcohol Warnings The FDA is considering additional warnings
on beer and alcohol bottles, such as:
-
WARNING: consumption of alcohol…may make you think
you are whispering when you aren’t. -
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in
dancing like an idiot. -
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell
the same boring story over and over again until your
friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD. -
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay
shings like thish. -
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe
that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them
at 4 in the morning. -
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering
what the hell happened to your pants. -
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll
over in the morning and see something really scary (whose
species and/or name you can’t remember). -
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
inexplicable rug burns on the forehead. -
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion
that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some
really, really big guy named Chuck. -
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe
you are invisible. -
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think
people are laughing WITH you. -
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in
the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes
large) gaps of time may seem to disappear. -
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE
pregnancy.