I was reading an article on Reader’s Digest the other day as to how the kids in West have become wanting machines.
As per the article many parents face financial problems if they fulfill those demands ,of their kids, for expensive video game consoles , designers clothes and shoes etc.
Those parents who cannot fulfill those demands face emotional themselves and face bad behavior at the hand of their kids.
At the end the author called those kids wanting machines.
Are your kids wanting machines ? If no, how you trained them not to be ?
If yes how do you deal with them ?
Any time any of my kids will ask for something I will be non committal by saying " I will think about it." I never say yes or no to anything right away. That keeps the expectations of the kids on the right level and in check. That gives them the message that they cannot always get what they want when they want it.
Sometimes they forget all about it or they set their eyes on something else . But if they still remember and ask me about it later this is what I do.
If I would decide that I will buy it for them I will let them know approximate time when we will buy it. For example a new game console , we will buy it after they show good grades at the end of school year so that they can enjoy it for whole summer. If I decide that I am not going to buy what they want I will let them know that we are not buying it and I give them the reason.
We do not need it. You do not need it. It is out of our budget. etc , etc.
I dont think kids are natural born wanting machines. If they are wanting machines, its because they have been made into it, in our consumeristic, materialistic society.. When they watch TV they are bombarded with so many flashy commercials and then when they go to the store everything is placed in ways to entice them. And if they have parents who are very materialistic and always caring about things-things-things, then this too has a huge impact on making the kids wanting machines
Anyways I remember reading an article of a study that was done just before Christmas, about how parents put themselves through so much stress to get all these fancy expensive gifts for their kids, and obviously to afford them they have to work so hard, but it said in the end what many of the kids really wanted was more time with mommy and daddy :(
well my son demanded playstattion 2 as his cousin has it.he is 6 yrs old,so i told him that if he gets good resulot then i will gift him on his birthday.well dealing kids on these issues is very tough,one has to be very tacky in that.anyhow he didnt doo zidd and agreed that he will get it on birthday.i think Peer Preasure is the main factor which makes kids wanting machines.
I guess peer pressure and TV commercials have a lot to do with increased wants. I know parents who get cell phones for their young teenagers just because they don’t want their kids to be the only ones without cell phones. Then what type of cell phone? Then what features and plans, etc… Parents let go, kids demand more…oh it’s a cycle.
My kids are still small…when they do ask, I try to tell them about delayed gratification in simple terms…I try to set some goals, but sometimes I do give in if what they want is little. I should perhaps control myself more .
I think it depends on the parents, have they set any limits, have they set any rules, etc. I think people who have some rules and limits won't have this issue of wanting machines.
lusi its easy to say that ,parents can not always say NO .it takes a hell of effort to raise kids and they all are different.some are polite and some are stubborn.if we set limits and they obey them and dont question you back then i must say those parents are very lucky:)
whenever my hubby steps out with the kids, he will end up buying them something, not big ticket items but stuff like colouring books, crayons, play dough etc sounds harmless enough but now my almost 4 yr old has made it into a routine, she thinks its a given to 'want' something new everytime she is out. to me thats a red flag, even though she has hardly any concept of spending or waste yet but thats how habits develop, its important for them to be content and treasure what they have otherwise the novelty of new things wear off very quickly and the wanting begins again.