Want to move out

[Confusedanddrained]

Re: Want to move out

@S02

I think the “this just isn’t done” argument is not a valid one, so those of you basing your advice solely on this, just to tell the OP that she should suck it up or she is a bad child is not fair or wise. Also the argument “you have two X chromosomes; therefore you can’t” is not helpful.

“A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Yes, culturally it is hard for a child to leave the home before marriage, especially for a girl. But it is done and done well in a lot of situations. Yes it’s hard. Yes there are moments of doubts, maybe even moments of hurt feelings, but you cannot just be afraid to try something new all your life simply because you fear upsetting a mediocre status quo.

Since when does making your own decisions and having some independence for a grown adult = abandoning you parents, whether they are ailing or not? Where did the OP say she wanted to shirk her responsibilities toward her parents? Where did she suggest that she would “give them her finger” and say, “see ya!”

OP, some questions for you:

1. Did you go away for college? Have you had any opportunity to live alone?
2. Do you really want to move away or are you more frustrated by their restrictive behavior and constant worrying? If that changed, would you be happy at home?
3. Can you manage the expenses of living on your own. NYC is remarkably expensive. Would you be ok with living with roommates?

1. I did not go away to college. I stayed with them, and studied abroad for a short semester. That was my extent of living away from them.

2. I think I am more frustrated than anything. I like being home. I like seeing my parents daily but I cannot for the life of me enjoy being told I can’t go to yoga. I am 24 years old, I can decide if I want to go to yoga

3. I would need to get a roommate, not just for expenses but my parents always think people should try to live with other people if possible for safety reasons. However, I can afford it. Even if I did it alone I could afford it.

I am just tired of being expected to act like an adult with adult responsibilities but not be treated like an adult at the same time. You don’t think I am a child when I work 14 hour days but watch out if I want to decide when to go to yoga. It’s ridonculous