Want to cry and don't know what to do.... HELP

Then that's down to you, s gym subscription and diet is in order...

Where do you live? If you really can't find them anywhere, you can use some really strong large bags / strong bin liners, pack them, make a small hole in them, suck out the air with a vacuum cleaner nozzle and then tape the hole shut asap without letting any air in. Try it.