Walking history Highway

A n amzing place to visit. I hope I do see this region one day Insha Allah!

Footloose, NOS, The News International

Walking history’s highway
The long-cherished quest to trek the Mintaka Pass between Pakistan and China border finally comes true – but at the cost of blisters the size of five rupee coins on both feet
By Salman Rashid
I hobbled across the floor of large shattered rocks, the remnants of a glacier past, and painfully hauled myself over the low saddle behind which my two companions had disappeared only shortly before. Then I saw it, the object of a long-held desire: the concrete pillar that marks the Mintaka Pass between China and Pakistan.

Walking history’s highway
The long-cherished quest to trek the Mintaka Pass between Pakistan and China border finally comes true – but at the cost of blisters the size of five rupee coins on both feet
By Salman Rashid
I hobbled across the floor of large shattered rocks, the remnants of a glacier past, and painfully hauled myself over the low saddle behind which my two companions had disappeared only shortly before. Then I saw it, the object of a long-held desire: the concrete pillar that marks the Mintaka Pass between China and Pakistan.
But I could not believe I was actually there. For one, as we came up to the last bit of glacial remains, my guide Irfanullah had said that the boundary pillar lay about an hour away. Secondly, I had imagined the pillar to be much taller. Why, it marked the boundary between two countries and ought to be of monumental proportions, yet as it was, the column was just about the height of a man, a metre and seventy centimetres. Having caught its sight, it was not without a good deal of gratitude that I trudged the last painful steps to the crest of the pass.
My quest for Mintaka began nearly thirty years ago when I first read Peter Fleming’s News for Tartary. Having set out from Peking (as we then knew it) in February 1935, Fleming and the redoubtable Ella (Kini) Maillart from Switzerland made an epic traverse of 5500 kilometres across the heart of Asia to end up in Srinagar. Their journey took seven months and so uncertain was that age that many times in the course of the narrative it seems the travellers would be turned back to Peking. But what a great journey theirs was and what a tale Fleming wrote.
For me, the most exciting part was Fleming’s coming up to the Mintaka Pass from the northern side. As much as I wanted to do it that way, I knew it would always remain difficult, if not impossible, to trek up from Tashkurghan (Xinjiang). But I could always go up from our side of the border and see what Fleming and Maillart had seen back then. That then had been the dream for many years; a dream that periodically ebbed into the dark recesses of my mind to again flood right back to become the vision of, as T. E. Lawrence wrote, ‘open eyes.’
Now, Mintaka (Wakhi for ‘Thousand Ibex’) sits at North 37º-00’ and East 74º-51’ smack on the Great Asiatic Watershed between Pakistan and China: the streams draining its northern flanks empty into the vast wasteland of Takla Makan while those on our side feed into the Maha Sapta Sindhu and having slaked the parched lands of Pakistan give off precious little into the Indian Ocean. The only other geographical entity that sits any farther north is the Killik Pass that lies, reckoning as the majestic lammergeyer would soar, less than 15 kilometres northwest of Mintaka.
For as long as men have lived in these mountain valleys, both these passes, Mintaka more than its partner, formed the shortest connection between Turkistan and Hunza, Gilgit and the Punjab plains via the Babusar Pass. When the Scythian hordes poured into the subcontinent in the 2nd century BCE, one branch under their able king Maues came this way to gain the submission of Gopadasa, the king of Chilas. Thence Maues led his flock down to establish himself at Taxila and become one of the great kings of that age.
In the winter of 1891, British Indian forces invaded Hunza. The king, Mir Safdar Ali, having earlier made light of British intentions was sorely discomfited when his soldiery, despite having put up a spirited defence, was eventually routed. As British forces made their way up the valley and into the fairy tale Baltit Fort, the Mir quietly sneaked out of a back door of his castle with this several wives, children and retinue and rode hell for leather on the road north. The invading force was unable to catch up with him as he made his way over the Mintaka Pass into Chinese Turkistan.
This is what is recorded about the Mintaka. But surely, through the long and creative passage of time, there must have been an untold number of events that the pass saw, events that told on the shaping of the history of our part of the world. Other than that, we know that with the establishment in the late 19th century of the British legate in Kashgar, there was an expedient need for mail running between that city and Srinagar. Before the ousting of the hostile Mir Safdar Ali, the authorities were constrained to use the longer route over the Karakoram Pass far away in the east. But with a friendly king in place, a proper mail service was established and with it, the village of Misgar at the foot of the Killik and Mintaka passes in Gojal became home to the first post office in the entire Gilgit-Baltistan region. Opened in the first decade of the 20th century, the post office continues to operate to this day.
Though mail running ceased with the end of the Raj in India, the road remained in use for travel between Gilgit-Hunza and Kashgar. When the Karakoram Highway was opened, a great untruth was invented by a bureaucrat by naming it the Silk Road. The lie caught on and today no one knows that silk from the marts of China never ever came down this way to India. The silk that did arrive, came either by the Karakoram Pass or from Hunan province through Burma. Consequently, it is erroneously believed that the road north from Misgar over the Mintaka was the old Silk Road.
Despite the untruth, for me this was the great highroad of history with a high pass at its head. I had to walk that same path that greater women and men had traversed before me. And for the drama, I carried a photocopy of pages 360-61 of News from Tartary to read aloud by the border pillar the description of Fleming’s approach to the Mintaka.
The plan was to walk up north from Misgar to Murkushi, the junction of the Mintaka River and the Killik Jilgha (Turkish for ‘stream’ and so named on the U-502 map). Making this summer pasture our base camp, I hoped to make a long dash out to Mintaka and back. After a day’s rest, a similar dash was to be made out to Killik and back again. In Misgar I was advised that Murkushi was a good ways short of both passes and it would be unadvisable to camp just there for the final assault, especially since a stiff climb entailed between Murkushi and both passes. Knowing my own capacity, I quickly agreed.
Excited by my passion, three friends had wanted to come on this adventure. But each in turn dropped out for one reason or the other and so there I was in Gilgit all by myself. Word was that the region north and west of Misgar was closed not just to foreigners, but Pakistani trekkers as well. It was said that some irresponsible persons from the low country had gone up and strayed across the border into China. Some days after this violation, patrolling Chinese border guards finding the spoor of the trespassers, their government applied to Pakistani authorities to close off the area to outsiders. That happened in 2007. Until then Misgar, the gateway to the two passes Mintaka and Killik, was a busy thoroughfare for trekkers heading out and returning.
I had an introduction to Major General Muzammil Hussain who commands the army in the Northern Areas. I maintain that in our nation of 175 million people only 1750 – that’s 001 percent people – read English. There in Gilgit I discovered this paltry figure had suffered a hefty increase by one: the general reads. Besides his then current reading (Arundhati Roy’s latest book), he reads my columns and has read at least two of my books. (Now, that’s frightfully well read!)
What floored me was that when we met, the general had no affectations, no superior airs. There was only plain, untainted warmth. I have met people who know of my work, but such a spontaneous show of affection and fellow feeling, though not missing, has always been rare. What’s more, he must be the only Pakistani general with musical talent: his fingers are capable of some pretty nifty work on the keyboard. Of this I do not speak from hearsay.
Armed with the general’s blessing I headed out to Misgar where the lumbardar was putting me up and organising a guide. When I walked into the garden of Ataullah Khan’s home, I did not even have to introduce myself. Within no time young Irfanullah came around and agreed to take me up to Mintaka. Amanullah, Ataullah’s son and cousin to Irfan, said he was also coming along because he had nothing better to do.
The donkey that I had asked for to carry the gear was unfortunately not to be had because all animals, it was reported, were up in the summer pastures. Next morning when Irfan came around he was leading a pair of donkeys, however. It turned out that these animals habitually traipse back and forth between Misgar and the summer pastures entirely of their own volition and this pair belonging to Irfan had wandered in sometime during the night. In the event, this was just as well.
We loaded up and with Ataullah Khan wishing us Godspeed were on the trail to Qalandar Chi. The U-502 maps of the US army as well as all subsequent Survey of Pakistan maps list the place as Kalam Darchi, and because it has a small fortress built in the early 1930s, the army (that holds the fort) with its propensity for abbreviations has appropriately condensed the name to KD Fort. But the night before Ataullah had told me that the actual name was Qalandar Chund – the Naked or Bald Qalandar (Mystic). He could only say that the word came from the Wakhi language and that if there was a story behind the name, it had been forgotten. I found it difficult to transform chund to chi and did not give much weight to the derivation. But surely behind that name lurks a fanciful tale that would have been right up the street for my late and much lamented friend Adam Nayyer.
Qalandar Chi or KD Fort was made in an hour. Amanullah and I went up to register with the man in charge. Naib Subedar Iftikhar Ali from Multan seemed frightfully young to be holding the responsibility of preventing terrorists from escaping into Xinjiang across Mintaka or Killik. As he took down my particulars, the man said he had received a rather terse message to ‘take care’ of me. While that could mean either to subject me to third degree or to pamper me, he was a bit uncertain and had to use his satellite phone to clarify. It was only on my return that he divulged the other truth: the night before he had also received unsubstantiated information from a local mole that a lone terrorist was headed for the region north of Qalandar Chi!
Twenty years ago I shaved off my facial hair grown in rebellion in the last days of my military service, have lost all on my pate and what little remains is grey. I have a little paunch, I feel my years and am no longer the man I used to be. In short, much has changed about me. But this one thing about me being a terrorist or an enemy agent has stuck fast. Like a curse it refuses to leave me. But the ether had sung with word from headquarters and if they wanted the terrorist to proceed who was he, Iftikhar Ali, to obstruct the way in my deadly mission?
At Qalandar Chi the Dillesung River bounds down from the west to meet the united Mintaka and Killik streams. Were we to follow the former, in three days, having crossed a high pass, we could reach the head of the Chapursan Valley to the south. But we headed north into the grim, treeless conglomerate gorge with its enormous scallop-shaped scree slopes. Passing the oasis of Khanwali, we paused for tea at the spring of Arbab Bul. Shaded by lovely willow and birch trees, the place was alive with birds, and among the rocks I espied a vole-like rodent hurrying to make itself scarce.
The word bul is Wakhi for spring and appears to stem from the Turkish word bulaq. In Misgar my host Ataullah Khan had narrated how Turkic speaking Kirghiz or Wakhi peoples originally inhabited this valley. But then, at an indeterminate time, the Mir of Hunza took it in his mind to annex this valley lying north of his kingdom with direct access to the various Central Asiatic kingdoms, Kashgar being the nearest of them.
A strong force was sent out from Hunza and a sanguinary battle ensued. The Kirghiz were expelled with great loss of life and Misgar and its subsidiary upland valleys became part of the Mir’s domain. The battle, I was told, took place at the fertile meadow of Murkushi where over a 150 Kirghiz graves mark that historic event. Before we set out of Misgar, Ataullah Khan advised me to be sure to check out those burials.
North of Arbab Bul the valley widens somewhat and, being so well watered, is a series of grassy meadows. Runhil, Lup Jungle, Potehil, and eventually Murkushi, all wide green meadows strung out along the right bank of the river and shaded by magnificent willow and silver birch trees. We meandered across the grasslands and paused at Lup Jungle where Amanullah and Irfan went fishing with a net. The fish, a kind of trout, fried with just a sprinkling of salt was delicious.
At Lup Jungle, I took off my boots to check the blisters that had made themselves felt just after Qalandar Chi. A little above the heel, by the side of the Achilles’ tendon on the inside, the blisters on both feet measured about three centimetres across. The central parts on both sides promised to soon be raw wounds were the size of a five-rupee coin. When the boys saw them, they were aghast. But because they did not ask if I was up to walking, I did not mention the pain I was in.
Since Ataullah had instructed my young companions to show me everything of historical importance, Aman said we must pause at Potehil for tea. The place was known for the grave of Sangi Khan, the Wakhi, he added. I naturally assumed this man was the great general who made the heroic stand against the Mir’s army and as we approached Potehil, I looked forward to the story of his heroic passing away. Girt by a low wall, the grave is hardly noticeable, but that, I suppose, is only fitting: Sangi Khan did not go down sword in hand fighting to the last breath. He sadly died of constipation!
I almost asked Aman what was noteworthy about that inglorious death, but even before I could say it, I saw the historicity of the event. The poor Wakhi must have had one monumental bout of constipation to have actually succumbed to it and may be the only person ever in the annals of humankind to have passed away from this life in so bizarre and awkward a manner. That too is history.
Since Arbab Bul we had followed the old mail runner’s highroad clearly marked out across the grassy plains. Nearly three metres wide, it was set with upright stones along the borders. And though it had not been maintained since 1947 when the mail business ceased, was still largely discernible. As we approached Murkushi, two cairns by either side of the road formed a sort of a gateway.
Beyond, spread the birch-shaded meadow of Murkushi. At the head of the valley rose a bulky many-crested crag skirted by scallops of scree. To the right lay the way up to Mintaka and to the left, in the shadow of the westering sun, that of Killik.
I was glad to reach the end of the day’s march and took off my boots with great relief. The blisters had been chafed into raw wounds and this was the first time in my life I was travelling without any medical kit. Amanullah whistled, Irfan looked on with a grimace. But neither said anything about me willing or otherwise to continue. As I crept into my sleeping bag after dinner, I resolved that come tomorrow I was not going any further. The pass that had so long been a dream for me receded behind my cloud of pain. I knew if I turned back, I would never return to Misgar to realise that cherished dream. But the weeping wounds sticking to the fleece of my sleeping bag, told me this was how this one was meant to end.

To be continued

part 2

Footloose, NOS, The News International
Continuing the walk to Mintaka Pass at 50 plus was an uphill task, and how
By Salman Rashid
If nightfall is the hour of the ebbing of the spirit, dawn rejuvenates. At shortly after four, I peeked out of my tent to see a glorious star-studded sky with a hint of a pastel dawn in the east. The agonising chafing of my blisters with every single step yesterday was forgotten and I was ready to press on in my quest of Mintaka Pass. The Killik was no longer within my reach, that much I knew with certainty.

travel
Hill walker’s requiem
Continuing the walk to Mintaka Pass at 50 plus was an uphill task, and how
By Salman Rashid
If nightfall is the hour of the ebbing of the spirit, dawn rejuvenates. At shortly after four, I peeked out of my tent to see a glorious star-studded sky with a hint of a pastel dawn in the east. The agonising chafing of my blisters with every single step yesterday was forgotten and I was ready to press on in my quest of Mintaka Pass. The Killik was no longer within my reach, that much I knew with certainty.
An hour later I roused my young companions. Irfan and Amanullah had slept in the shepherd’s hut of Murkushi and word was that it was infested with cockroaches. As they cooked dinner, they had seen the creatures crawling about the walls and into the many holes between the stones. One of the trio from Misgar that had joined us in the evening had baked a loaf of bread and left it in the pot uncovered. In the morning it was found crawling with virtually hundreds of those horrid insects.
The winter of 2008-09 had dumped record snows after 18 years. So hard was the winter that Murkushi had remained frozen under a blanket of snow two metres deep for over six months, yet this hardy vermin had survived. Its reputation for being the toughest of nature’s banes is not without foundation.
The duo lingered over breakfast telling me to carry on and that they will load the donkey and catch up with me. At the north end of triangular Murkushi a footbridge led me over the Killik Jilgha that flows almost black to meet the blue-grey Mintaka stream just below the bridge. In Misgar Ataullah had mentioned the prospecting for antimony in the upper reach of the Killik. Going by the colour of the river, whoever wants to quarry that lode, had better hurry before the lot is washed away into the Indian Ocean.
The trail snaking up the slope, clearly visible from our overnight camp, disappeared at closer quarters. Also looking out for the Kirghiz graveyard that was supposed to sit here at the junction of the Killik and Mintaka routes, I may not have paid much attention to the path that was now all but lost in a mess of debris from the scree slopes above. I missed the path and ended up having to make an excruciating climb an hour later when the duo called me from high above. As for the graveyard, on the return journey I was shown two of the 200 odd burials. Both had collapsed revealing ancient skeletons. The rest of the graves, I was told, were up on a higher knoll that I was loath to climb with my searing blisters.
The long grind, from the 3,630 metres of Murkushi to nearly 3,900, was a slow and agonising hobble for me while the duo and the donkey danced on ahead. Over the last bit of the incline I found the two resting in the shade of a rose bush. All my hill walking years, I never sat down at rest stops during the march. I remained standing. Now, just getting my weight off my feet was bliss and when they suggested we get going, it was with much reluctance that I got up.
Meanwhile, the donkey with our load had disappeared. Amanullah ran on ahead to Yaram (Lower) Goz (Meadow) while Irfan backtracked to see if the animal once again had it into its head to return home to Misgar. I hobbled on after Aman. The animal was discovered calmly grazing in a particularly thick grove of rose bushes not far from where we had rested. Recalling the travails of an Australian travel writer in Tibet whose donkey made off into the sunset with all her gear, for a short while, I had terrible images of a miserable night without my sleeping bag.
Since Arbab Bul and I had seen frequent wolf and fox scats by the side of the road and since Murkushi there had been at least two sets of bear scats as well. The mountain was alive. Now at Yaram Goz we came upon a dead, partially eaten goat. A man returning from a higher pasture on his way back to Misgar said he had only minutes before seen a snow leopard kill a cow. I thought it strange that someone should misrepresent so when there was little chance of us missing the wolf kill. And wolf kill it certainly was: the leopard goes for the jugular making neat work of its prey before carrying it off to relative privacy; the wolf simply grabs, messily tearing apart the victim. The poor bear is only an opportunistic hunter, subsisting largely on a vegetarian diet. Even its dung resembles that of a yak.
The chafing of the blisters against the boot prevented me from walking with the heel-ball of the foot-toe rolling motion. Instead, I tottered along on flat feet. It brought to mind the elderly Chinese woman shambling about sweeping the threshold of her store in Kashgar. Then I notice her feet: they were tiny. She had been a victim of that cruel custom of binding girls’ feet in infancy. The pain was now awful and I felt an affinity with that poor Chinese woman who could only have been in agony to have walked like me.
Another painful hour and we came abreast of the shepherds’ huts of Yutum (Upper) Goz on the far side of the river. But we pushed on to Gurgun Pert whose name again recalls Turkic influence: pert being the Wakhi word for meadow. This was to be our base camp for the final run up to the Mintaka, and here too the hut was vermin-infested.
On the morrow, we set out for Mintaka Pass. And what an un-heroic setting out it was! I astride the little donkey that had carried our gear. The night before I confessed my inability to walk up to the pass and asked my partners if it was possible to arrange a donkey. And so there I was astride the animal, legs dangling limply on the sides while I held on to the steel loop at the top of the surcingle for all I was worth. I had to keep my eyes on the donkey’s ears because if I so much as looked into the distance, I lost my balance and made ready to keel over to one side or the other. I could not recall an occasion when I had felt more helpless and miserable.
I had wished to experience the glory of Peter Fleming coming up to the crest of the Mintaka Pass in the final stages of his epic journey from Peking. At the end of his long journey he was as hard as nails and rode a horse he called Cloud. I was unfit after a full year of no exercise with bloodied feet astride a little donkey whose name I asked but never recorded and now forget. Only Fleming was in his 30s, I in my late 50s. There was just no similarity.
Nature unfolded one parallel, however. “Snow began to fall as we attacked the pass.” Fleming wrote. Right as we set out of Gurgun Pert, tiny flakes came swirling out of the mottled sky to spangle our clothing and land coldly on our faces.
About 40 minutes out of camp we came up to Matumdar, the ridge of debris left behind by an ancient glacier. Spilling out of the slope on the left, it sat athwart of the valley leaving only a gap of about 20 metres for the river to hurtle through. The rocks were shingly and loose and I had to give up my mount. Once again, while the others raced on ahead, I limped along slowly, painfully. On the other side of the 80 metre-high ridge there spread below us a wide pan of sand with the river twined across it in a dozen shallow channels.
In the early morning light, it glistened silver-like, almost surreal. Fleming likened it to the “nether regions as visualised by those of our ancestors who believed that hell was a cold place.” On the far side, stood the pure white ice-pinnacles of the Gul Khoja Glacier.
A short donkey ride besides the sand pan brought us to the deserted huts of Gul Khoja. Misgar shepherds use this camp for a short while in late June through July. But the blasts of icy wind scudding off the glacier chase them away with the onset of August. Having come over the Mintaka, Fleming, Ella Maillart, and their party were benighted here. We did not even pause but pushed on to some high ground between the glacier and the huts where we were to leave the donkey for the final drag up to the pass. The languid curve of the glacier, partly scree-covered, partly pure white, lay on our right. It reached up to two snow peaks towering to nearly 6400 metres.
On our right the rocky barrier was riven through by a number of saddles. The one almost lateral with us was Gul Khoja Uwin (Pass) that once again recalls Wakhi influence. By my partners’ account, it is not really a pass but the entrance to a closed valley where shepherds sometimes grazed their herds. Just ahead and about 200 metres higher than us was a wide trough-like saddle that led up to Mintaka. Once again I thought I was in no condition to tackle the climb.
It was the unseen topography ahead that lured me: I imagined that this trough lay on the crest of the Great Asiatic Watershed and if that was true, the Mintaka would geographically not be in the subcontinent but in Central Asia. This then would be the only pass in Pakistan that lay wholly on the far side of the divide. My map, a coloured photocopy of the U-502 sheet, was truncated just below the pass, adding greatly to the allure.
There are a number of passes in Baltistan and Shimshal that straddle the watershed. The 5780 metre-high Lukpe La between Baltistan and Shimshal and the thousand metre lower Shimshal Pass lie wholly within Pakistan, that is, the region north of Lukpe and east of Shimshal is the only part of Pakistan that lies in Central Asia. Since having crossed both of these back in 1990, I had believed them to be the only ones holding this distinction. If Mintaka indeed sat north of the divide, it would be the one and only pass within our borders that lay entirely in Central Asia.
That then was what led me shambling up the two hundred metre high drag to the top. But I was disappointed: there rose in front another low ridge. Across the rock-strewn saddle I hauled myself after the dancing duo. When I was all but done in, Irfan said the pass was yet an hour away. I thought of now finally giving up. But something kept me going. As I surmounted the next ridge, I saw on the skyline a short stub. It had only been a few minutes since the distance of an hour had been announced and I could not believe we had made it.
But there it was, all of a metre and three quarters tall, of dark cement with the words Pakistan in Urdu and English with the year 1964 inscribed on the side facing south. The other side bore a Chinese character and the same year. That was the year after the signing of the Sino-Pakistan Border Agreement by which we ceded a large swathe of land to China. At times as wide as 70 kilometres from the north of Shimshal to the Karakoram Pass, this was the price Pakistan paid for Chinese friendship which has proven to be more reliable than that of any other foreign power. In that border adjustment Killik and Mintaka passes were not affected, however.
So, here we were 4,684 metres above the sea on the crest of the Mintaka astride the Great Asiatic Watershed, the very pass that had seen the unfolding of history since the 2nd century BCE when Maues, the Scythian king, led his hordes from the bleak Steppes into the fertile lands of the Sindhu River. We were 1600 metres higher and some 45 kilometres from Misgar where we had started. This had been the most excruciating walk of my life. I gave up every evening, but something got me going again the following morning. Now the prize was ours.
I sat on the plinth of border pillar, brought out the photocopy of Fleming’s description of making the pass and began to read. “Snow began to fall as we attacked the pass. The tired ponies came up very slowly, the Turkis stabbing them in the nose and changing the loads repeatedly. I left the sorry hugger-mugger of the caravan and walked on ahead, leading Cloud; the altitude affected me very little and I enjoyed the climb.”
Then my voice cracked. I tried to control my emotion, but failed. I wept, the warm tears misting up my eyeglasses in the chill wind. Gently Amanullah slipped the paper from my hands and continued to read right down to the end of the second page that ends with Maillart quipping, “So far I like India.”
There was yet another ritual to attend to. Before leaving Islamabad my friend Kashif Noon, who had in the beginning wanted to come, had given me a hip flask with a golden libation. I was to toast the memory of Fleming, Kashif’s good health and that of his manservant Fayyaz. I now apportioned out the spirit of life – a mere sip for myself (for, as it was, I could not trust my legs) and two larger draughts for the youngsters and our happy chorus of good cheer cracked the thin, cold mountain air. We had missed the anniversary of Fleming’s crossing by a mere five days. He and his party made it across on August 22; we were there on the 17th, a full seventy-four years after them.
I asked my companions if they had seen other trekkers weeping on this or any other pass. Amanullah said first, upon arrival, they shook hands. Then they hugged each other and finally broke into tears. That was Standard Operating Procedure for all walkers.
“But we are not white people and we don’t cry.” Aman said with laughter in his voice. ‘We dance!’ Arm in arm the two did a merry little jig waltzing on both sides of the unseen line of the border.
As I reclined against the pillar, I realised that my thighs were trembling. Six months shy of my fifty-eighth birthday and after one full lethargic year of no exercise, I knew my muscles had atrophied. I was in no form to come hill-walking and yet trusting I still possessed what I did even three years ago, I had blundered into this adventure. It was folly compounded by boots that had not been worn for a year and a half. If I had wondered over the past year when the end of my adventuring days would come, I now had the answer.
My hill-waking days, I knew, are finally and irrevocably over. From the comfort of my study with my much loved maps spread out in front, I could plan another walking trip. And from that same comfort I could even see myself heroically slogging up cold, rocky hillsides, but another trip up into the mountains may now take more than I am left with. I am done. With this realisation, sadness, a deep sense of loss came over me.
The behaviour of friends who began to behave strangely when their retirement from work approached had always been difficult for me to comprehend. Some became terribly grouchy, others fell into psychosomatic illnesses. Now, when it was my turn, I descended into a dark depression. I was behaving no differently. I know that with time this will go and I will reconcile with the loss of youthful vigour. But there is little chance I will ever go hill-walking again.
So this my Requiem do I write.