Bert took his dog to the vet.
“Doctor,” he said sadly, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to cut off my dog’s tail.”
The vet stepped back, “Bert, why should I do such a terrible thing? He is obviously a happy dog and is always wagging his tail.”
“Well-my mother-in-law’s arriving tomorrow, and I don’t want anything to make her think she’s welcome.”