He gets angry alot, and when he does he has no control over himself. He will curse at parents older siblings and anyone else, but now he is getting to physical abuse. He pushed me (voilently) twice and swore at me. I want to teach him a lesson. So what should i do?
Re: voilent teenager
have your dad discipline him.
how old is he?
maybe he is doing it because he knows he can get away with it?
maybe some of his privileges need to be taken away?
Re: voilent teenager
Was he like this since childhood? Did the parents/elders think, oh no big deal he will grow out of it?
Re: voilent teenager
he's 14. We have tried talking to him and taking his privileges away too, but he seems to be growing a hate/enemy mind towards the family. He argues and yells, no matter how we explain doesn't understand. I am afraid if this continues, one day he is going to turn out to be someome we hear in the news who beats his mother/sister.
so far i have stopped talking to him. He keeps coming and says sorry. But i know if i let it go this easily he will do it again. so when i dont accept the apology he says who cares you dont have to speak to me. So basically he doesn't even feel how seriuos the issue is.
Re: voilent teenager
I think you should touch his sensitive vein and try to talk to him (14 is old enough) and know his point of views and tell him what you think as well...i know someone who used to behave the same way but that's because she was very sensitive and couldn't get her feelings across so instead of shedding a tear and trying to talk to her parents she started acting like a brat...could be the same reason with your kid...but not sure though since i am not even close to being a mother for now...
Re: voilent teenager
he sounds alot like my younger brother.
It is really important that he gets disciplined by his father. Unfortunately there comes a point in a boys life where he stops becoming afraid of his mother and sisters. His attitude is like “who cares..even if they yell at me and take away privileges… its not going to be permanent”. Women are more soft hearted. So this is natural for them to not be as tough.
A father can be… and should be if their child is acting up in this sort of manner. I wish my brother had been disciplined by my father… but the mistake my parents made was to treat him and deal with him the same way they did with me and my sister. It does not work this way with unruly boys. :hinna:
I ask my fiance how he turned out so amazing and he said that he was disciplined from a young age - mainly by his father. As a guy you become more scared of the consequences of your father and it becomes extremely unbearable to cause your father disappointment. So a boy is less likely to act up.
Re: voilent teenager
this sort of rebellious behaviour also comes from if there are too many rules and he feels u guys r breathing down his neck all the time. How do i knwo? from experience! Also, has he ever said or implied that parents are not treating all the kids equally? Obviously there is a lot of suppressed anger that's coming out in form of violence. Being a freind rather than ONLY a strict disciplinarian may help. Also, i like how you are not accepting his apology because if you do he will keep doing it. Make him realize what he did was wrong. Possibly try watching a movie where a guy has abused his mother or sister so it actually hits him that he did the same thing. sometimes it's hard to reflect upon your actions and you need to someone to open your eyes.
Hope it helps.
Re: voilent teenager
any older sibling a male??
Re: voilent teenager
yes some of the things you guys have said are correct. He is the youngest one, and there's a huge age difference between him and rest of the siblings. So now the rest of us we have cars we have our own laptops etc. He tries to equal it out with us. So he does feel left out, but we cant really do anything about it. Even though these issues exist, he still should know how to respect others. The other siblings dont hit.
and yeah i am still avoiding speaking to him. He hasn't learned anything. He does try talking to me asking me useless questions, but when i dont answer him. Now he says he doesn't care, and stil behaving same.
Re: voilent teenager
He needs a male role model. Even now seems like more then working with him you want rather a quick fix. Like as hitting him with the stick is going to fix issues for you.
Pay attention and time he needs. Once he is fine it will be pleasure to be around.
Re: voilent teenager
smack him one, hard.
Re: voilent teenager
He needs to learn how to use "words not hands" to express himself. This is something that our kids are taught from elementary school and onward. VERY important llesson to learn well. When he gets really angry, tell him to leave the room and think about what makes him this angry and to return when he is able to express himself in words and that the family will then work things out from there.