I know a girl who has been married a long time - nearly a decade - and who is now in the mental hospital (just about - she’s getting help for suicidal depression) - therefore am posting this query on her behalf.
Her marriage has not been consummated. Both spouses are said to be fine physically, but she - or he - whatever - had some “fear” I guess of having physical relations. Maybe they just didn’t know how to do things is what I figure. But now her sanity level has been affected coz people are asking her to show proof of the marriage - ie where are the kids blah blah - and she can’t take it anymore and is resorting to life-threatening behavior.
My question is - is this type of marriage even valid? The couple are “Muslim”. The husband says he is “okay” with whatever way they are living. They look like an ordinary married couple… but are they?
What should this girl do? I’ve just about had it explaining things to her, and maybe if I get like a dozen replies from here, I’ll print 'em and take 'em to her to read. She’s like this little kid … jeez… anyway.. responses will be appreciated.
She is having a problem bcos they didnt had it ? or shes having a problem bcos shes basically happy dont want it to happen but ppl are asking for proof ? or is there is still something else?
My simple answer to above two things would be, 1. if she wants it (as a normal person should want it more or less when married) but her husband dont (for whatever reason) she can get a “khula” (separation/divorce) according to islamic law. Bcos that is a part of marriege & responsibility of husband to fulfil & if cant she can get it.
if shes fine with it & ppl are problem, then i think they can simply say he or she cant have kids.
its very technical here, on one hand you have the rule of thumb that after 6 months of nikah if there is no consumation the marriage will be anulled and on the other there is a question of her sanity.
This girl married for 10 years now has not consumated, thats quite strange. how has the male being living with this, its still a mystery.
but for theoretical purposes in my opinion the marriage is still intact since both agree to keep it that way and are fine with it. i'm sure there is more to the story.
Well, all I can say, since we don't know all the details is maybe she should try,.........maybe they both should get some counselling and work out the issues, the both need to decide if they want to be together and if they want to consummate the marriage........it might bring them closer or it will tear them apart.........but I think they both need to willingly try to save whatever they have, if that's what they want......
well Ana, Mr JBravo is right...
if ITS not done then there is no Value of there Marriage Now...
and on the other hand since your friend is getting mentally deperessed coz of this, so this thing can end up to any disaster, like if you read the news of a Woman of Karachi who killed her parents last week, coz her parents were not accepting any proposal for her.. ( you can check website of Jang or Dawn for the past ten days issues or you just check your PM..)
I m not relating both the two incidents but the facts are a bit same.
So the conclusion is that both should get proper counselling and both should be medically checked as well.
cheers
This lack of interest in vital activity of a married life is un-undestandable especially when it is held that the guy is not gay!
Apart form counselling they must seek, they can try seeing romantic or x-rated movies together to catch the fire :)
No, I went with her to the doctor, her marriage is unconsummated, confirmed. Khair, she is going thru some conselling now, but I doubt it'll help her. Thanks anyway guys.
