Ok, I need someone to explain to me the whole deal about the Prohpet marrying his adopted sons ex-wife.
Articles on the net (written by Muslims and Non-muslims alike) go something like this:
“The Prophet had an adopted son Zaid. One day when he went to see Zaid (who wasn’t at home at the time), he saw his wife, Zainab, in her nightgown and was attracted to her, leaving muttering something like “Praise be to God who disposes the hearts”. Zainab heard that and realized the Prophet was attracted to her. She told Zaid who went to the Prophet and offered to divorce his wife for his adopting father. The Prophet said “keep your wife”. Later, the Prophet had revelations denouncing the status of adopted sons and making marrying ex-wives of adopted sons legal. Moreover, the Prophet was with Aisha was talking with Aisha when he had a trance and then told her “Who will go tell Zainab that we we were just wed in heaven?”. Even Aisha wryly remarked “truly Allah seems to be quick in fulfilling your prayers”.”
The articles claim that these revelations were self-serving conveniences. I need someone to explain to me how they weren’t.
That story is a bit twisted. If I remember correctly, the situation was that Zaid's marriage with Zainab wasn't going well to begin with. He wasn't rich, and she was. Muhammed (SAW) tried a few times to get them to reconcile, but didn't work out in the end.
I don't know why he particularly chose to marry Zainab, whether it was attraction, or whether Zainab initiated it, or what. But there is no reference I've seen that suggests the Prophet was attracted to her and made such comments WHILE she was married to Zaid.
It was after the divorce took place that the idea of remarrying came up. Correct me if I'm wrong someone.
I will get the references inshaAllah and clarify if I am wrong, but from memory it goes like this.
Zainab (RA) was from the high class and Zaid (RA) being married to her was not considered by her to be her equal.
Zaid (RA) divorced his wife upon instruction
Muhammad (SAW) had vision
Muhammad (SAW) married Zainab after requesting her if she would marry him
What we need to realise is that the mission of the prophet was purely to DEMONSTRATE Islam and it's details to us. So in certain cases he did much and in others he did little to etch for us limits in both directions. One such limit being etched to us by him was the abolishing of the concept of "adoption" taking the position of blood relations. He married divorcees, women older and younger, with children and without and he married Zainab (RA). Basically telling all Muslims that the wife of an adopted son is not a mahram to us.
He was not his son. Your premise is wrong, there is not concept of *Adopted Son *in Islam. If you adopt a kid, he is not your son, he doesn't get your last name, he doesnt inherit from you like how your biological son would do.
So this is a non issue. The Prophet was nothing but his guardian. Hence there is no problem with marrying his exwife...once you know that there is no Father-Son relationship.
Later, the Prophet had revelations denouncing the status of adopted sons and making marrying ex-wives of adopted sons legal
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That was never illegal to begin with.
Although marrying ex-wives of real sons was always illegal in islamic law.
People of his time regarded adopted relations as real relations (people still do it now)
But Islamic law clearly differentiate between real relationship vs adopted
[quote]
(who wasn't at home at the time), he saw his wife, Zainab, in her nightgown and was attracted to her, leaving muttering something like "Praise be to God who disposes the hearts". Zainab heard that and realized the Prophet was attracted to her.
[/quote]
This must be one of the spicey stories people of his time made to malign him
But there were very important technical reasons for this bonding
Hazrat Zenab was the first cousin of prophet Muhammad (pbuh) So He had known and seen her childhoon times. He insisted (againt the wishes of her brothers and herself )on the nuptual of Hz Zainab with Hz Zaid in order to elivate his status as ex-slave in society by being married into a noble family. But the marraige did not workout well and ended in divorce.
Prophet's marraige proposal to her had two very import motives.
To completely errase the belief that adopted relations had same revenece as blood relations
-To clearly announce that Islam allows cousin marraiges ( which is forbidden in some other religions )
Very clearly, the customs and standards followed at that time were very different. This is yet another reason why islam has to be updated. Specifically:
Adoption is a very great service that makes both parties happier and better. It is very legal and in fact promoted by most countries with incentives. islam should make this change in itself.
By contemporary standards marrying daughter-in-law is incestual and from the fact that she divorced indicates it was so even then. I guess the divorce makes it not so bad but if people don't feel distasteful about this, there is something with them. Even marrying cousins, while not illegal or incestual, is certainly a bad practice as it leads to major health problems for immediate and/or future offsprings. Unfortunately this happens not infrequently and not just among muslims. I wish all religions will update themselves and discourage this.
I will get the references inshaAllah and clarify if I am wrong, but from memory it goes like this.
Zainab (RA) was from the high class and Zaid (RA) being married to her was not considered by her to be her equal.
Zaid (RA) divorced his wife upon instruction
Muhammad (SAW) had vision
Muhammad (SAW) married Zainab after requesting her if she would marry him
What we need to realise is that the mission of the prophet was purely to DEMONSTRATE Islam and it's details to us. So in certain cases he did much and in others he did little to etch for us limits in both directions. One such limit being etched to us by him was the abolishing of the concept of "adoption" taking the position of blood relations. He married divorcees, women older and younger, with children and without and he married Zainab (RA). Basically telling all Muslims that the wife of an adopted son is not a mahram to us.
very well said ......... this is exactly as i have studied and as from my research and understanding ... this is the issue which has just been explained ....
The Prophet was an example to all of us .. so he was our guide ... and he showed us ... every possibility ..and lawful things a muslim may /can do ... and this is one of them where a man marry his adopted sons wife AFTER he has divorced her ... and as sharaabi said .. he isnt his real son ... so a man may marry this woman ....
.. also .. The Prophet wanted to spread Islam in all parts and regions of the world .. he did so in many ways ...... and one of the ways was that he married women of different tribeds, cast, rich and poor... in order to spread the word of Islam ..... if you see ... All HIS SAW's wives ... they were from different tribes families etc .. but HE only had children from Hazrat Khadijah RA .... and the other thing is that .. HE SAW .. did not have two or more wives at one time .... HE SAW married all at different times .... for various reasons ....
NOTE:
But one thing i must say is that ..... this is a very long and big issue .. and really there isnt any need to question as to why and who our Beloved Messenger married .... But what matters the MOST is WHAT he taught us .... and secondly .. there are many Issues SUCH as this .. in which on the day of judgement we wont be asked that Why our Prophet Married such and such lady or for what etc etc .. and so it is best that these issues are left out of disscussion cos otherwise we are questioning the Authority of our Prophet SAW ... and what sorta muslims would we be if we are questioning HIS SAW's decisions .....???
^ not questioning is not a pious act if the question comes to your mind. The question has arisen obviously, so better try and resolve it. Otherwise it simply gives the appearance of hushing up.
Very clearly, the customs and standards followed at that time were very different. This is yet another reason why islam has to be updated. Specifically:
Adoption is a very great service that makes both parties happier and better. It is very legal and in fact promoted by most countries with incentives. islam should make this change in itself.
By contemporary standards marrying daughter-in-law is incestual and from the fact that she divorced indicates it was so even then. I guess the divorce makes it not so bad but if people don't feel distasteful about this, there is something with them. Even marrying cousins, while not illegal or incestual, is certainly a bad practice as it leads to major health problems for immediate and/or future offsprings. Unfortunately this happens not infrequently and not just among muslims. I wish all religions will update themselves and discourage this.
You speak out of ignorance and out of pre-conceived notions.
Very clearly, the customs and standards followed at that time were very different. This is yet another reason why islam has to be updated. Specifically:
Adoption is a very great service that makes both parties happier and better. It is very legal and in fact promoted by most countries with incentives. islam should make this change in itself.
By contemporary standards marrying daughter-in-law is incestual and from the fact that she divorced indicates it was so even then. I guess the divorce makes it not so bad but if people don't feel distasteful about this, there is something with them. Even marrying cousins, while not illegal or incestual, is certainly a bad practice as it leads to major health problems for immediate and/or future offsprings. Unfortunately this happens not infrequently and not just among muslims. I wish all religions will update themselves and discourage this.
Islam needs no update. As per your reasoning:
Islam doesn't forbid adoption. However, an adopted child will have different rights/duties than a biological child.
If Islam says it's ok to marry to an adopted child's ex spouse, it's ok, period. It doesn't matter what contemporary standards or anyone else has to say about it.
Ok, I need someone to explain to me the whole deal about the Prohpet marrying his adopted sons ex-wife.
Articles on the net (written by Muslims and Non-muslims alike) go something like this:
"The Prophet had an adopted son Zaid. One day when he went to see Zaid (who wasn't at home at the time), he saw his wife, Zainab, in her nightgown and was attracted to her, leaving muttering something like "Praise be to God who disposes the hearts". Zainab heard that and realized the Prophet was attracted to her. She told Zaid who went to the Prophet and offered to divorce his wife for his adopting father. The Prophet said "keep your wife". Later, the Prophet had revelations denouncing the status of adopted sons and making marrying ex-wives of adopted sons legal. Moreover, the Prophet was with Aisha was talking with Aisha when he had a trance and then told her "Who will go tell Zainab that we we were just wed in heaven?". Even Aisha wryly remarked "truly Allah seems to be quick in fulfilling your prayers"."
The articles claim that these revelations were self-serving conveniences. I need someone to explain to me how they weren't.
First correct your initial mistake:
There is no concept of adoption in Islam...An orphan you raise is as separate from you as a stranger and has no share in the inheritance as well...
Very clearly, the customs and standards followed at that time were very different. This is yet another reason why **islam has to be updated. **Specifically:
Yes...I suggest you update your Islam...Start praying to rock'n'roll Salat...
I have no idea why I am replying because I know you will run from the thread anyway.
Adoption is not forbidden in Islam. And as you said, it is a service and that is exactly what it is in Islam. Adopted children have different rights as compared to biological chhildren. There are many other ways or channels in Islam to offset any defficiencies adopted children might have.
Contemporary standards do not matter in front of divine standards. What the Prophet SAW did was simply demonstrate and abolish a social practice that had simply taken religious proportions. Just the fact that he SAW did something does not mean it is encouraged but it means it is permissible. The social consequences of it change from time to time. It is a non-issue and very rare in todays world anyway.
The example just serves to demonstrate that in the eyes of Allah SWT we would not be crossing boundaries if anyone ever ended up in such a circumstance. What is socially acceptable is different from culture to culture and best to respect it as well. Social practices which do not bring merit die down eventually by themselves as is demonstrated in this very case. So as I said before it is a non-issue.
very well said ......... this is exactly as i have studied and as from my research and understanding ... this is the issue which has just been explained ....
The Prophet was an example to all of us .. so he was our guide ... and he showed us ... every possibility ..and lawful things a muslim may /can do ... and this is one of them where a man marry his adopted sons wife AFTER he has divorced her ... and as sharaabi said .. he isnt his real son ... so a man may marry this woman ....
.. also .. The Prophet wanted to spread Islam in all parts and regions of the world .. he did so in many ways ...... and one of the ways was that he married women of different tribeds, cast, rich and poor... in order to spread the word of Islam ..... if you see ... All HIS SAW's wives ... they were from different tribes families etc .. but HE only had children from Hazrat Khadijah RA .... and the other thing is that .. HE SAW .. did not have two or more wives at one time .... HE SAW married all at different times .... for various reasons ....
NOTE:
But one thing i must say is that ..... this is a very long and big issue .. and really there isnt any need to question as to why and who our Beloved Messenger married .... But what matters the MOST is WHAT he taught us .... and secondly .. there are many Issues SUCH as this .. in which on the day of judgement we wont be asked that Why our Prophet Married such and such lady or for what etc etc .. and so it is best that these issues are left out of disscussion cos otherwise we are questioning the Authority of our Prophet SAW ... and what sorta muslims would we be if we are questioning HIS SAW's decisions .....???
JazakAllah Khair for confirming.
The issue at hand is that many 'Hater's of Islam' those people who malign and deceive they pick up these hadith and mould interpretation in order to make them appear odd or even inhumane.
That is why we must understand the finer details sometimes because with a slight detail out of place it could appear dodgy. Such as the prophet Muhammad (SAW) found Zainab (RA) beautiful prior to her divorce and it was THAT that caused her to be divorced is down right slander. The truth is kept away from the argument, which is that she was not happy in the first place.
The point is that it doesn't matter if he was adopted or not if a woman is already married to someone and they are both happy then even a prophet has no say over her intimate affairs. He has authority over her like a father figure but nothing more than this.
From the slew of responses. To my call to update islam re adoption and inter-marriage, it is clear that a hornet's nest of guilt has been poked!
Please, do not consider it an insult what I say about updating. When you find something is wrong, changing it to the better will only make it better. I am sure God will have no ego to feel insulted.
God gave us all a brain - I am sure he gave it with the ability think so that we can better the world.
If you don't like the world update use something else!
Touch your heart and tell me this: In this day and age, are you comfortable in the presence of a man who married his ex-daughte in law? Will like that to happen in your family? I am certain you won't.
From the slew of responses. To my call to update islam re adoption and inter-marriage, it is clear that a hornet's nest of guilt has been poked!
Please, do not consider it an insult what I say about updating. When you find something is wrong, changing it to the better will only make it better. I am sure God will have no ego to feel insulted.
The thing is there absolutely nothing wrong with what is said by Allah.
[quote]
Touch your heart and tell me this: In this day and age, are you comfortable in the presence of a man who married his ex-daughte in law? Will like that to happen in your family? I am certain you won't.
So why not admit it?
[/quote]
His ex-daughter in law, I would consider wrong. His adopted son's ex-wife is not the same thing so no issue there.
See as I pointed out, you'll be on the run. Without answering the people you have already started charting your escape route.
Things that with time show less and less merit are automatically updated (in your terminology) or reformed. The truth being that today even in muslims we don't see a trend where People marry their adopted sons ex-wife. You might be able to nit pick a one in a million case if you try.
Now for the question you are asking, it is actully flawed because adopted sons are not the same as biological sons. Muslims do not marry their daughter-inlaws, wives of their biological sons.
Update does not mean we start screening our history. I think its better to understand as to adhering to norms of the society that do not violate the morales of the divine standards.
From the slew of responses. To my call to update islam re adoption and inter-marriage, it is clear that a hornet's nest of guilt has been poked!
Please, do not consider it an insult what I say about updating. When you find something is wrong, changing it to the better will only make it better. I am sure God will have no ego to feel insulted.
God gave us all a brain - I am sure he gave it with the ability think so that we can better the world.
If you don't like the world update use something else!
Touch your heart and tell me this: In this day and age, are you comfortable in the presence of a man who married his ex-daughte in law? Will like that to happen in your family? I am certain you won't.
^ I don't understand what you mean by run away? Who ran away? From what? If you addressed that to me pls explain.
Look - if a non-Prophet human gets a vision that says something he did is now ok, we would all calll that a lie or a custom made vision ti fit the error. I can understand everyone wanting to see this case differently since it is the Prophet. But then don't make it out as if it was shown as an example for all non-Prophet humans to follow.
Secondly - by updating the rules of islam does not erase history as you seem to think. Nobody erases what happened in the 6th century by changing the rules that have clearly become unacceptible and untenable in modern times.
Look - if a non-Prophet human gets a vision that says something he did is now ok, we would all calll that a lie or a custom made vision ti fit the error. I can understand everyone wanting to see this case differently since it is the Prophet. But then don't make it out as if it was shown as an example for all non-Prophet humans to follow.
If any non-Prophet human today would say he got revelation, then I'd call that a lie as well. One of the lessons is that the wife of your adopted son remains your non-mehram. In principle, a man can marry the ex-wife of his adopted son, which would not be the case were it the ex of his biological son.
[quote]
Secondly - by updating the rules of islam does not erase history as you seem to think. Nobody erases what happened in the 6th century by changing the rules that have clearly become unacceptible and untenable in modern times.
[/quote]
That's where we disagree. I don't think there's anything unacceptable in any of the rules of Islam. So this being unacceptable is only your opinion.
