The Third Parent
By Muhammad ash-Shareef
As Allah ta’ala states, it is part of our belief that we shall be questioned
and are responsible for the following:
Verily! Hearing, Sight, and the heart, all will be questioned (by Allâh).
(Al-Israa 036)
And as Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - said, on the Day of
Repayment, no one will move until they are asked about three things … “And
his youth - what he exhausted it with?”
In Qawaa’id Fiqhiyyaah there is a principle that says, ‘Al Waasaa’il ta’
khudhu Hukm al-Ghaayaat’ that ‘The means takes the same ruling as the
intention of what is trying to be attained.’ A Television set, with the
wires, screen, box, and plug is nothing more than a means. It is what is
trying to be attained by that box that makes it Haram or Halal. Similar to
a gun, something that can be used for noble purposes, such as defending one’
s land from aggression, or can be a means of considerable harm - especially
when given to a child.
In an Arab ESL class, the teacher - as his opening class - would ask the
students what English words were taken from the Arabic. A few hands would
jerk up and say things like, ‘Chemistry from Keemiyaa’, Algebra from AlGebr,
Physics from Feesiyaa’, etc.’ Then he would interestingly ask them what
Arabic words were taken from the English, the answers come quick, ‘Raadiyo
from Radio, Dosh from Satellite Dish, and of course Tilfaaz from TV.’
What did the west take from us, and what did we take from them?
Hence Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Fataawa
3/227: [With regard to television, it is a dangerous device and its harmful
effects are very great, like those of the cinema, or even worse.
We know from the research that has been written about it and from the words
of experts in Arab countries and elsewhere enough to indicate that it is
dangerous and very harmful to Islamic beliefs (‘aqeedah), morals and the
state of society.
This is because it includes the presentation of bad morals, tempting scenes,
immoral pictures, semi-nakedness, destructive speech, and Kufr.
It encourages imitation of their conduct and ways of dressing, respect for
their leaders, neglect of Islamic conduct and ways of dressing, and looking
down on the scholars and heroes of Islam. It damages their image by
portraying them in an off-putting manner that makes people despise them and
ignore them.
It shows people how to cheat, steal, hatch plots and commit acts of violence
against others.
Without doubt, anything that produces so many bad results should be stopped
and shunned, and we have to close all the doors that could lead to it. If
some of our brothers denounce it and speak out against it, we cannot blame
them, because this is a part of sincerity towards Allaah and towards other
people.]
In Sahih Al-Bukhaari, when Guraayj was praying and his mother called him, he
said to himself, “O Allah, my Salah or my mother?” He did not know whether
to continue his prayer or discontinue it and reply the wishes of his Mother.
She cursed him. And her curse was one that we may inadvertently be doing to
our children the day we sanctioned the introduction of the third parent
called TV. She said, “May you see a prostitute!” She did not say, may
there be any relationship between you and a prostitute, no she just said may
you see one. HOW many times has the main theme of prime time TV revolved
around prostitutes? HOW MANY TIMES have our children witnessed it? How
many times have they been cursed to be in such a situation?
Abdullaah ibn ‘Umar - radi Allahu ‘anhu - once passed by some people killing
time by playing chess. He became shocked at what was happening and angrily
said to them - quoting the verse of Qur’an, “What are these IDOLS that you
are standing in vigilance over?” What would he think if he saw the Ummah
and it’s welcomed hug in most Muslim homes.
When a Muslim nation watches their country play in the world cup, over 3
million Muslims from that one country tune in. Times that by the duration
of the match, 3 hours, and you’ll have 9 million hours of the Ummah’s time
wasted on a football game. In one sweeping night. If Karl Marx said in 1844
that ‘Religion is the opium of people’, then what about TV?
Dear brothers and sisters, Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - said,
“The person shall be (on the day of Judgement) with those that they love.”
Tell that to a Muslim child, that on the Day of judgement, if they love
Michael Jordan sooo much they’ll get to be with him on that horrific day.
It’s sad, but most Muslim children would get happy and excited about the
prospect - isn’t that enough to strike fear into our hearts? Who are the
Muslim children really going to be with on the Day of Repayment? Most of
them cannot tell you the names, just the names, of those people that we hope
them to be with!
Let’s ask ourselves, if we gave a chance for our sons or daughters to put up
a poster of their hero, the one whom they think is the ‘coolest’ - would it
be their father or mother? Would it be the Prophet or his Companions? OR
would it be a basketball player that he saw on TV? Or an actor (even
cartoon) that he saw on TV? Or a model that she saw on TV? Or a musician
that he/she saw on TV? Who would it be?
Ok, the TV is monitered in the house by the parent, correct? (95% of
parents with children 8 and up don’t monitor). Now what happens if the
parent dies on the way to work one day and the children inherit the TV?
Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - said, “There is not a single
shepherd (Ameer) that Allah entrusted with a flock - who dies and in a state
where he cheated them - except that Allah shall forbid him from entering
paradise!” The ‘Ulumaa would quote this hadith in light of the father in a
Muslim country that would allow a Satellite Dish to enter his family which
Allah entrusted him with.
Dear brothers and sisters, we are not here on earth to entertain ourselves
to death. We are an Ummah with a Risaalah! When Rib’ee ibn ‘Aamir - radi
Allahu ‘anhu - stood in the hands of the king of Persia, he announced the
message as clear and as proud as every Muslim should, “Allah sent us to
rescue humanity from slavery to slaves - to the slavery of the Lord of all
slaves; And to rescue them from the choke of the material life to the
expanse of this life and the next, and from the corruption of the cults to
the justice of Islam!”
If we don’t know how to read Qur’an, why aren’t we registering for the Qur’
an institute here at Al-Huda. If we don’t know the language of the Qur’an
and Sunnah, why aren’t we registering for the Arabic institute? If we don’t
know about the life of Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - and his
companions - radi Allahu ‘anhum - why aren’t we coming to the Seerah and
Fiqh classes on Fridays and Saturdays.
Doesn’t Allah ta’ala tell us in the Qur’an:
(An-Nur 030)
Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden
things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is
purer for them. Verily, Allâh is All-Aware of what they do.
How do reconcile those verses with the television that assaults our eyes
with Haram almost every second that it is on? How do we reconcile it?
Have you heard of Cupid? Of course we have. They portray Cupid in cartoons
and comedies as a chubby child with wings who is supposed to be the Angel of
Love, shooting arrows of ‘love’ when the male looks at the female. Rather
dear brothers and sisters, it is Iblees! For Rasul Allah - sal Allahu
alayhi wa sallam - told us, ‘Verily the ‘look’ is a poisoned arrow from the
arrows of Iblees!”
Shaykh At-Tahhaan once told his students, “It was late at night when our
phone rang one day. This Muslimah whispered into the phone, ‘Is this Shaykh
At-Tahhaan?’ I said, ‘Yes it is me.’ She kept saying is it really you? And
he said, ‘Yes, what is wrong?’ At that she just started sobbing and sobbing
into the phone. After some time, she explained, ‘The children’s father
bought a TV and video 2 days ago. Tonight I found my young son practicing
the Haraam that he saw on his younger sister!’ Then she collapsed sobbing
again.”
Everything starts with a look / and big fires start from a little spark
Turn OFF TV, Turn ON Life
After a grueling first year in the Faculty of Shari’ah, I came home to
Canada where I spoke to a friend whom I hadn’t spoken to for over a year.
In the conversation he said, “last night on TV Seinfeld said…” I was
puzzled and realized that for an entire year I had not heard anything other
than Imam Shaafi’ee said, and Imam Abu Hanifa said. It was an ignorance
that as Shaykh Abdul Muhsin ‘Al-Abbaad would say ‘that we ask Allah ta’ala
to increase us in it’s ignorance.’
Some people argue that TV is just a harmless avenue of entertainment and
that there should not be a big deal made about it. It is interesting
however that we see in Shari’ah that what is more deadly than Haram is Bid’
ah. Why you ask? Because when someone does Haram like eating pork, he
knows it is Haram and that one day it is hoped that knowledge will lead him
to fear Allah and refrain. Bid’ah - on the other hand - is something a
person does with the hope of reward from Allah, something that the person
considers to be ‘harmless’. It is deadlier because the chances of this
person correcting the situation are less due to the ignorance which causes
lack of motivation.
Other people will say that we have a TV for the news and Islamic or
educational programs? Dear brothers and sisters, is there no other avenue
to get the news? Is there no other means by which a child can be educated
and stimulated to learning?
Didn’t anyone ask why we get all this ‘FREE’ TV? What does the TV sell? No
it doesn’t sell Coke or Nike or McDonalds burgers, it sells the AUDIENCE TO
ADVERTISING COMPANIES! Why do you think they charge $1 million for 30
seconds of advertising in a Superbowl game?
Consider these facts:
Brand loyalty starts at age 2 - they can snatch a child into a lifetime of
allegiance to their product from that tender age. How old were you when you
started loving Coke or Pepsi?
On average, a viewer watches 20,000 commercials each year. If we repeated a
page of Qur’an to you that many times, do you think you would memorize it?
This is just for the products, what about the ‘Aqeedah that they are being
taught, a whole stack of beliefs that gets fed to them every time they sit
to listen to their third parent. Where are the horrific stats for that?
To give just a simple example that we all know, go to a lecture where the
Imam is talking about women’s rights in Islam. Listen to the Muslim males
and females debate with the Imam. Where did they get their points? Where
did they become so hostile to anything that contradicts the Western view of
women’s rights? Why is there no hostility to the Western view?
Most of it was learnt on TV, the rest was learnt in the public school
curriculum.
If this is the programming, the brain washing of our youth, then where shall
they be reprogrammed when they prefer the TV over anyone else. Dear
brothers and sisters, it is a fact that more than half of American children
would rather watch TV than spend time with their mother or father.
After surveying a lot of young children and asking them what is the one
thing that they would sacrifice their favorite TV shows for, many replied
that if there were some sort of outside activity they would give preference
to that. Meaning, if someone took them by the hand and organized some after
school activities they would embrace the idea.
Here are some other things that you can do instead of being shackled to the
TV, the option is yours:
- Play outdoor games
- Build extra curricular skills, such as martial arts or calligraphy or
sewing or - Visit the library.
- Take on a job where they one can become serious about life and work.
- Do acts of worship such as reciting dhikr and wird, salaah, reading Qur’
aan, fasting, and thinking about the signs of Allaah in His creation. - Adopt an Islamic cause in the place where you live, and take part in it,
such as teaching Muslim girls. - Support an Islamic magazine by sending articles, statistics and useful
information of interest concerning Muslims in the West. - Take part in charitable projects to help Muslim orphans, widows, divorcees
and elderly, or joining a committee to help organize social programs and
celebrations for Muslims on Eid. - Find righteous friends to meet with and good neighbors to visit.
- Read Islamic books in particular and useful stories in general.
- Take part in da’wah activities, men or women’s activities and preschool
programs in Islamic centers. - Listen to tapes and lectures, write summaries of them, and distribute the
summaries to anyone who could benefit from them. - Do arts and crafts
- Cook items to be sold to raise funds for the Islamic center.
- Take an interest in computers and computer programs. This is a vast field
that can fill a lot of time, and the computer can be used to do a lot of
good things as well as providing entertainment in the form of permissible
games. - Spinning, weaving, cutting out and sewing.
- Gardening
- Exercising outside or at home.
In conclusion dear brothers and sisters, today is the beginning of a new
day. Allah gave us this day to use as we will. We can waste it or use it
for something good and beneficial.
But let us know that what we do today is important because we are exchanging
a day of our life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone
forever; and in it’s place shall be something that we left behind … lets
let it be something good and something beneficial.
**Parde ilm hazaar kitaaba…kaddee apnai aap nu parya naee.." **BULLEY SHAH
[This message has been edited by Masooma (edited June 13, 2001).]