So, what are the non-religious IN PERSON venues to meet other Pakistanis?
We don’t really have any down here. I don’t know of any Pakistani organization that is just cultural.
I know in some places they have meetings for south asian professionals. But anything like that specifically for Pakistanis?
We need something like that. There are virtually no venues to meet people other than religious organizations. And frankly, the kind of people that show up at religious organizations are not folks I end up getting along with too much. I’ll show up as a non-hijabi in tight jeans and a t-shirt and I just don’t fit in. And the kinds of guys that show up to those events are not the kind that I want to spend the rest of my life with, so I have no motivation to really meet guys at those types of events. Every once in a while, I’ll see a normal guy at such an event, and then he skidaddles out of there when he realizes he doesn’t fit in either and then next thing you know, you hear he married some Cuban.
I think in America, the pakistani community needs a venue in which to meet. I know APPNA does events, and that is usually a meat market. Never been to one, and as I’m meeting arrogant people who are docs, I don’t really have a desire to meet a male doc for purposes of marriage. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life hearing lectures from some Harvard graduate either.
And I dont want to do shaadi dot com and all that crap. It’s all BS.
Why don’t we have more real life cultural venues? I just don’t get it.
I tried once long ago to start a cultural organization on campus, and was met with much opposition. All the mullahs went up in arms about how if its not Islam related, it shouldnt exist.
I dont know. Maybe I live in a zoo. Someone get me out of here.
Most larger cities in America have some sort of Pakistani Association ... in my experience these are more socially geared as opposed to religious.
Joining a South Asian Proffessional thingie is not bad either... you will have a better chance meeting a pakistani there than not joining at all. Plus you might meet someone that knows someone.... finding a guy is like finding a job sometimes... it's all about networking.
Does your area have a Your Dil chapter? It is a Pakistani Charity association where the emphasis is organizing social events and such ..where the proceeds go to Your Dil Schools. The chapter I belong to has only young professional Pakistani members. I didn't know anyone when I moved out here and it was a great way to meet people. Its a great organization... once a year there is a black tie gala in NYC as well where all members from other chapters are invited to go too............... i am happy to report that I did not get a "meat market" vibe from this event at all. Mabey because there were no aunties and uncles at this thing....
Look into events that the Pakistani Associations at Universities are throwing. Especially the grad schools. They organize artists to come to their schools and such and its usually open to the general public. Grab a couple girlfriends and hit these up. What do you have to loose?
PCG, what about the Asia Society? They have chapters in many cities. Although it encompasses most of Asia, you can choose to participate in only those activities relating to Pakistan and they have many really great cultural events, displays, talks etc.
you're an md yourself. why wouldn't you wanna marry an md? he would probably understand your work schedule better than a guy who works 9-5. you should hit APPNA... especially if it's a meat market.. what more can you ask for?
regarding the rest, very true... I remember in school too ppl were trying to start a PSA and all the MSA khalifa fanboys were up in arms about it. something about one ummah or some nonsense like that. and yes, our community definitely needs some sort of an organized way of doing this type of thing. you should talk to your married friends. they should know people. and generally married folks seem quite eager to hook people up...
I’m not an MD. The few docs I know who are guys are pretty arrogant. I don’t blame them. I know they are smart people, but they do show it in terms of how they talk. They will have this “Well, uh yah, duh, stupid” when people speak to them. And I dont wanna be coming home to that sort of an attitude. I need supportive and kind. Not “The world owes me because I am so smart”.
I’m sure there are down to earth docs out there, and will keep my mind open if I meet one guy like that. But I’m looking for down to earth. And that’s usually a guy who has had it rough and has had to build himself with his own two hands as opposed to daddy giving him things.
Samb, did we go to the same college? Exact same experience I had. The Pakistanis there were mostly in the muslim organization, and so when I suggested we open a PSA, they were like, what for? It would just divide the muslims, and everyone already feels there is too much of a Pakistani presence on campus through this muslim organization…
I was like…we can do CULTURAL activities, and Pakistanis who don’t want to sit in halaqas and lectures would come out more. It could be a social group just for networking. They just didn’t buy into that at all. Some nearly implied that I’m not a good enough muslim BECAUSE i wanted to start a pakistani group…
and regarding the rest, in all honesty, the stuff about being self-made, etc is way overrated. my advice - latch on to any rich, not-ugly doc you can find. and if the guy’s daddy helped him get there - even better. you’ll know there’s money to be had if you decide to split. regarding love, support, etc, that’s why God invented infidelity, boyfriends, etc.
well, I went to a school in Ont, Canada. so I highly doubt that we went to the same school. but yeah the experience was the exact same. when I went there, the majority was the MSA brother, sister type. the kind who identify themselves as Muslims first and everything else afterwards. the kind who get cars as gifts from parents for making it to university but idolize the Taliban because they’re oh so badass and oh so Muslim. retards…
there were a bunch of them that got all uppity when someone talked about making a PSA. but I was too disconnected from them to know what they did about it. eventually one did come into being. but again, I was too far removed from that scene.
not really. I used the doc example in this specific case because I was under the mistaken impression that PCG was a doc…
but in general, I’m a big fan of sleeping one’s way to the top. so, to clarify, I didn’t mean to target docs specifically. I just meant marry rich in general. so, when he/she keels over, you’ll have their money to help you overcome the immense loss and sadness…
and on a serious note, there’s nothing wrong with it. even Buffett advocates it. he advises young people to marry up aka rich folks.
It’s my experience that the males at those religious conventions are some of the biggest sleazeballs in existence. I attended one such convention a couple of years ago (in support of a family friend who now heads it) and was summarily shock and appalled by the behavior of these troglodites: they would congregate in groups of 3 or 4 and try to sneak up on me (giggling like Japanese schoolgirls all the while), ignoring my constant looks of death; once my back was turned, they would whip out their camera-phones and attempt to snap a pic, as if I was some sort of mythical beast and they required photographic proof of my existence. The way they behaved, you’d think they’d never seen a female their entire lives!
Even the ones that didn’t travel in packs showed no hesitance to shamelessly chat me up, oblivious to my clear lack of interest. For Christ’s sake: I was there to lend moral support to a family friend, not be wedded and bedded before the week was through!
From what I hear, APPNA really is little better: my brother has attended the gathering more than once, and claims that the last time he was there, he was mobbed by a pack of “rabid h0jabis” (his words, not mine).
It don’t blame it on religion or nationality: the whole Desi community is just one big meat-market, and it doesn’t help to be prime-rib.
and poor ppl don't make better spouses either... if anything, the lack of money brings a lot more tension and that makes the marriage that much more complicated...
anyway, to each their own... personally speaking, I'm looking for a loaded widow in her 40s who needs someone to love her and manage her money for her. interested candidates, please PM me. only serious bling bling and no prenup please. mucho gracias.
I am slightly disgusted but mostly alarmed.