hands up who here is terrified of what goes on in our desi community?
For most of life, I have been very naive to what goes on in the community. Especially the desi community. For me, us pakistanis have always been interesting people… some religious, some not… but people who understood values and morals.
Seems, that is not the case.
Yes, gossip runs an ever flowing river in our community. It’s something we just cannot get rid of when it comes to our crowd… even crazy cultural traditions… but when did having an affair, flirting whilst married… breaking marriages become the norm?
For me, and yes i admit, i have a very idealistic view of marriage to an extent.. for me marriage is about living and loving the one person for the rest of my life. Being there for him.. and being supportive and not having wandering thoughts. Ofcourse, issues happen, arguments happen… u always make up. That’s life…and i am not talking about marriages where there is abuse.. or other forms of unhappiness.
But, how did we as a race turn to thinking affairs were ok… if we’re not getting the affection at home, lets turn to someone else?
I know i am generalising. Not meaning to. There are many more desis out there who do understand and are content with their lives.. as much as they can be. And I really do not have any form of statistics… only that, I hear a lot more of it. Mayeb it has always existed and i am only aware of it now. I dont know
But man does it scare me.. ive no idea how on earth im going to instill the right values in my kid(s)
but is having an affair really accepted in our society?........I have yet to see people who would be ok with such a thing......I may be naive but I also don't know many people who do have affairs.........but people trying to break up marriages has become much more common IMO.......either way I think its because people just don't value marriage the same way as before.....
I don't think having affairs has neccessarily become more common... just more obvious maybe? extra-martial affairs have probably always existed for a minority of people but a) maybe because of exposure to western culture those people are just less afraid to commit the deed and b) with the sort of independance that most people lead nowadays its become easier i.e. a man and woman have their own jobs and timings etc. so it would be hard to tell if someone was cheating.
the majority of people though i think still find it shocking, you can easily tell when a story of an affair comes up, its big news and everyones surprised.
I have seen some affairs going on back in Pakistan. Here in the US I still have to come across a desi who has/had extra marital affair. My social circle includes married folks of all ages tweens , young adults , middle aged , old , very old desi folks. I do not know where you live. I have lived in big , small and medium all sizes of US citities.
