We are going on a two-week vacation with three other couples. We have never hung out with other couples of our age. As a couple, our social skills are really underdeveloped. The three couples are my husband’s friend, his wife, and friends’ brothers and their wives. I don’t know any of them and I am kind of nervous. I tend to say things that are out of place or say nothing at all. All of them are born and raised in Pakistan. They are traveling from Pakistan and will meet us in Dubai.
Do you guys have any suggestions for me? How to not come across as an a$$? Also, I don’t know what they will dress like. How should I dress since I am going to be with them? I was going to buy dresses but I don’t think they would wear dresses though. I got jeans and tees for the most part. Should I go ahead and wear whatever I would normally wear? Or should I pack a bunch of shalwar kameez?
Create a Dubai vacation planning group (private) on Facebook and add all eight adults and discuss the plans. That way you would be able to get to know them quite well before actually meeting them.
Create a Dubai vacation planning group (private) on Facebook and add all eight adults and discuss the plans. That way you would be able to get to know them quite well before actually meeting them.
You can dress for how you're comfortable or you can dress for what makes the other person comfortable...It also depends on how traditional/conservative the other couples are. If they are strictly about being totally covered and wearing loose clothing, then if you wear tight jeans and a tight t-shirt - that's a recipe for disaster because you'll end up feeling self-conscious and judged by them. Not a great beginning for a couples vacation.
I like TLK's suggestion - create a FB group to help break the ice (and the beauty it's text and not live convos, which alleviates the stress/initial awkwardness of getting to know someone) and begin with asking girly questions like how many outfits they're packing, what sorts of clothes they're packing, how are their clothes going to combat the heat? This will tell you a bit more about them. If you discover they are super-traditional, that doesn't mean you can't wear jeans, but I'd go with the longer tops and looser and long maxi dresses.
As far as how to get along with everyone - you guys should all make a list of individual must-dos, figure out where you guys have common interests/destinations, but also earmark days/evenings for just you and your husband (and let them know that they should all have some alone time too - call it everyone's second honeymoon) - that way you can have group-time, but also alone-time to unwind with your husband.
As for the group activities - look for "active" things where you're doing things and talking can be kept at a minimum. I know you've spoken about being a fairly solitary individual - but come up with a few topics (literally make notes for yourself) for things these other people might be interested in and start convos where it's an open-ended questions that forces the other person to do the majority of the talking and you can sit back and listen. You'll still have to make some effort, and maybe this will be a great opportunity for you to break out of your shell. Good luck.
Oh and definitely do the sand-duning!!!!! My favourite part of the whole trip!
Since they are all related and you are an outsider geographically speaking as well, have realistic expectations. They will naturally have more topics and people in common than you do and you will have to sit back and listen many times. Don't get upset over this and don't let it ruin the trip.
We are flying this weekend so there isn’t much time left. I have asked hubby to get their FB IDs. That’s definitely a good start. Oh, I hate wearing tight clothing. My Jeans and Tees are pretty lose. I size up no matter what I buy. I am definitely going to try to break out of my shell this time. I won’t get an opportunity like this again for a long time. It’s a good start for sure. I am still not freakin’ sure of the clothes. I love dresses but like you said I will feel self-conscious if they are judging me. Still going to buy a few decent ones.
What is San-duning? We are only staying in Dubai for two days then flying out to Turkey. Been to Turkey?
Since they are all related and you are an outsider geographically speaking as well, have realistic expectations. They will naturally have more topics and people in common than you do and you will have to sit back and listen many times. Don't get upset over this and don't let it ruin the trip.
...and that's what I fear, I will feel even more awkward and left out. I just hope nothing stupid comes out of my mouth. They all speak Punjabi too and if I don't pay close attention, I have no idea what's being said. lol
You go into the dessert area and a driver will drive you up ad over sand dunes at moderate speeds - there are times your’re almost perpendicular to the dunes and it feels like the car is sideways . It’s sort of like riding a roller coaster Loads of fun. Oh, you can also sled/sandboard down the sand dunes.
You can either go the ATV route or even hire a driver with a large 4X4. Take a look at the pictures above. Google companies that provide such excursions.
And good for you for making an effort to break out of your shell - it’s not easy, but it has to start somewhere.
Since the entire vacation is two-weeks, I would strongly recommend carving out a few days OR at least half-days 2-3 times through the two-week period where there are not group plans and couples are free to do their own individual thing. I say this b/c as an introvert, you will need time to re-charge. Given that you don't know the couples, there stress level will be high. Having the free times carved out means you can spend some alone time with your husband or even on your own for a few hours where you can re-group your thoughts/emotions.
I've done a few vacations with couples where I knew them very well. And even though the couples were friends of mine, I still cannot handle being with them from morning to night for multiple days/weeks without a break. My husband and I always build in these "breaks" primarily because I get anxious/stressed out if I don't get a few hours of downtime here and there to re-group. You can easily make it seem like you two want to spend some alone time or have a "romantic" dinner or something.
The husbands should be on your hubby's fb..log in via your hubby's fb profile and see if you can through the friend's pics...Hopefully there will be one two pics of wives
Form a whatsapp/messenger group with just the wives and try to break the ice..make plans...
Pack jeans and tees...nothing that involves a skirt..
maybe a few sweatshirts kurtis whatever...and sneakers... But you'll need something party casual for dinners..(whatever is your equivalent of embroidered lawn or silk shirts)
In my experience they might not raise an eyebrow if you wear something sleeveless (unless it's a spaghetti strap) but skirts are still a bit of a no no so pair those with leggings
My experience btw envolves educated, upper middle class, working women...jeans and teas are pretty common....some wear cardigans if they think the crowd might be a bit conservative.you might even see capris..
As for conversations..Google "10 ways to have a better conversation".. It's on ted.com...somehow can't copy the link :-P but pretty good
umm ull look suoer weird if u do touristy thing in dubai with a shalwar kameez on. Please dont carry any..dresses & jeans are the way to go!
^ This. I've been to Dubai twice (last time being a few months ago) and wore jeans/loose tops both times. I saw VERY few aunties wearing shalwar kameez lol. Pants/top seems to be the most common thing for tourists there.
Since the entire vacation is two-weeks, I would strongly recommend carving out a few days OR at least half-days 2-3 times through the two-week period where there are not group plans and couples are free to do their own individual thing. I say this b/c as an introvert, you will need time to re-charge. Given that you don't know the couples, there stress level will be high. Having the free times carved out means you can spend some alone time with your husband or even on your own for a few hours where you can re-group your thoughts/emotions.
I've done a few vacations with couples where I knew them very well. And even though the couples were friends of mine, I still cannot handle being with them from morning to night for multiple days/weeks without a break. My husband and I always build in these "breaks" primarily because I get anxious/stressed out if I don't get a few hours of downtime here and there to re-group. You can easily make it seem like you two want to spend some alone time or have a "romantic" dinner or something.
This is key! As much as I love my friends I still needed some alone time when we all went on vacation together and that was for a week.
Re: Clothes, I have no advice because I wear whatever I want, whenever I want within reason (ie no shorts skirts around in-laws) but around my friends/peers I couldn't care less.
Thanks for the tips! Definitely need to make sure I get enough time alone to re-energize. This is something I need to make clear to my husband before we leave. I have started the Facebook page and adding all info on it. Probably will stick to jeans/sweatpants, tees and comfy flats. I don't want to feel out of place so thank you guys for your suggestions.
I love dresses but like you said I will feel self-conscious if they are judging me. Still going to buy a few decent ones.
Loads of fun. Oh, you can also sled/sandboard down the sand dunes.