In the present age, at times a bahu feels that she has come to a house hold where people don’t live a straight forward and simple life. Showing off ‘love’ in front of guests and playing with words to impress others seems to be part of habits of those she has to live with.
My wife being very simple, doesn’t know how to play with words to impress people whenever she goes to a gathering. Most of the times she is quiet, unless there is an intense requirement for her to talk. Even in that case she talks with a low voice (but confidently) with ‘haya’ in her eyes. Thankfully she lives in a family where simplicity and natural behavior is appreciated instead of show off.
Even in other fields of life, like in offices, there are people who are mashaAllah very good in doing (something I heard people calling drama) by using some magical words for pumping the ego of their bosses, during meetings, presentations..etc. But I don’t know may be it is part of their personality to be able to do so.
Though at times they are able to achieve so much attention and appreciation in return to their efforts, that too in a way that the victim (the boss) considers their behavior to be quite natural and normal. But I still believe that beauty lies in simplicity even if apparently the tongue twisters (to achieve an accent beyond one’s reach) might get away with a lot of wrong. They might apparently stamp their impression by proving themselves better than those who don’t know how to step on other’s shoulders in order to rise high…
I think the way you talk , and words you use does show how cultured you are . I usually like people using sophisticated language . But one should also be mindful of crowed they are talking to . As main purpose is to communicate . If you can't do that , then no point really .
Lets see. Generally speaking. We might call a person 'simple' who:
Doesn't try too hard to speak in an accent that very clearly doesn't come natural to him. In other words torturing the people who don't have enough time to simplify it and make it understandable for oneself.
Likes to wear simple clothes. Of course here it is a relative term depending upon what a person considers simple But then there definitely is a limit beyond which a dress does not look simple to majority of people who have any idea what simple means, in that particular culture.
Doesn't like to take too much interest in conspiracy stories within a family. Also doesn't like to dig the details of something that is totally someone else's personal business.
Doesn't like to make oneself look like a master of all trades in things one doesn't have much idea of.
Doesn't frequently get involved into only those arguments where they themselves make it very clear to others that they only want to advertise their knowledge and intelligence irrespective of what the actual direction of the discussion was.
Doesn't change one's *whole *personality in accordance to what the gathering demands. Like becoming very religious in a religious group and becoming very non religious in a group where being religious is considered backward.
................and so on....
p.s. Just my personal views which might be totally wrong. I hope and pray that someone doesn't pick out a phrase out of the whole post and considers it worth criticizing and ignore the rest of the post (Saving ones time and energy through one liner sarcasm)
Does this apply only to women, or should you men also have some hayaa when you talk? Do you stay quiet, use simple language and speak only when spoken to? Or is that something you expect your wife to do because she is a girl?
sometimes you gotta act smart. sometime you can't changes people mind from your actions, you gotta ace at your words, words chosen and spoken at perfect place - you gotta learn and ace this weapon.
