This question has been on my mind for some time now, but recent trigger was from something I watched on the TV this morning.
So, answer is seek is, who is to blame? the User because he used or the Used because he/she let him/her? or Both?
One critical assumption is the Used knew what he or she was getting into,
please comment
Re: User or the used?
both - used for being so stupid
user for doing something immoral etc.
Re: User or the used?
what was used and who used it and who let who use it ?
Re: User or the used?
I can never be a user but if I have to choose,I'd rather be a user. It hurts like hell when you know you are used.
Re: User or the used?
OP: without any further details of an event, i am not able to make any comment.
it is always good to provide as much details so member can understand context of given story.
Re: User or the used?
Re: User or the used?
User. Never intentionally hurt people.
Sometimes the used gets used not because they are stupid but because they grew up in a good, loving environment always believing the best in people. Sometimes also because they know they are getting used but they do it only for Allah's sake.
Re: User or the used?
For example, people always used me to complete their homework and papers and such. Sometimes even got better marks than I did but wouldnt even say Hi to me later on. I don't feel bad b/c that's the person I grew up being. I don't think I cared much before nor do I care now..
Re: User or the used?
Exactly 
Re: User or the used?
The USED deserves more blame.....equal to or perhaps even more so than the USER....if they were fully aware that they were being used. There will be people out there in variou settings (family, "friends", workplace, etc) that will deliberately screw you over/take advantage of you and feel no remorse for it...........................you can't control them, but you have GREATER CONTROL over yourself. You have the greatest responsibility when it comes to your safety/well-being.
Re: User or the used?
^I feel that blaming the used actually lessens the user's immorality when clearly they are immoral.
People with power, brains, money, a heart will always be used. That's just our world. You can't stop doing good, help others etc. just bc you feel you need to protect yourself. When someone asks you for help, it is not written on their face if they are using you. Sometimes you miss out on an opportunity to make a difference in someone's life bc you are so afraid of being used.
Plus, like i said earlier, some used people could care less if they are being used. They just do their own thing. People need to stop looking at them 'as victims' or 'as guilty'.
Re: User or the used?
I'm not justifying the user's actions. To deliberately hurt someone is a gunnah. However to willingly put up with it (and of course it depends upon the situation as well)...isn't much better. It's one thing to be naive, to have cloudy judgment....it's another to be FULLY aware. I'm not saying that one shouldn't help a person. I think different scenarios come to mind for each person when they consider this question. I've helped people whom I don't trust too well...or may not be crazy about....but I'll try to proceed with caution. My negative experiences with someone would make me wary/more cautious around them in the future......if I see that I'm at risk or getting hurt....it's common sense to be protect yourself. I think the question is referring more to a situation where you've come to know (through a few interactions) that the other person is using you. Many times when we help a person...we may not be aware of their ill intentions. But when you DO become aware.......and when you are CLEARLY seeing that their actions are hurting you and possibly others in your life....it's stupidity to allow it to continue at your detriment. It could even reinforce the user's actions, strengthen them. When you do become aware, I don't think it's wrong to confront the user and let em know you're onto them. It's easy to blame others....even though they deliberately hurt you....but it takes more courage to accept responsibility for your own carelessness/foolishness. The latter requires putting your ego to the side. An example that comes to mind is in a relationshp where let's say a girl feels used......she can see clearly that the guy is taking advantage of her, doesn't respect her.....but continues to let it happen. It's easy to rant about the guy...to complain about him...(and he deserves it)...but it requires more courage for her to accept her own mistakes. The "using" in this situation may not require any sort of helping or giving aid. Different scenarios.
My negative experience with one person hasn't really prevented me from wanting to help others. But it has made me more careful/smarter around THAT individual...when I become aware of what they're doing.
Re: User or the used?
As long as they were consenting adults, no one's to blame. The worst kind however is the one that is paranoid of being "used".
Re: User or the used?
completely agree!
so you see rv no matter how much you beef you have against me i will still agree with you whenever i see we have the same opinion on the right thing
omg i must be dreaming lol
The USED deserves more blame.....equal to or perhaps even more so than the USER....if they were fully aware that they were being used. There will be people out there in variou settings (family, "friends", workplace, etc) that will deliberately screw you over/take advantage of you and feel no remorse for it...........................you can't control them, but you have GREATER CONTROL over yourself. You have the greatest responsibility when it comes to your safety/well-being.
Re: User or the used?
used for being thick.