Use the right flavor

I recall that a righteous old lady, who happens to be the mother of a friend of mine, would praise one of her sons lavishly. She would always be happy whenever he visited or conversed with her. Even though the rest of her sons and daughters were also kind to her, her heart was attached with this one son in particular. I would wonder about this, so one day I asked my friend why. He replied, “The problem is that my brothers do not comprehend my mother’s nature. They become too cumbersome for her to bear whenever they sit with her.”

I asked, jokingly, " So your highness was the only one able to discover her nature?"

He laughed and said," Yes! allow me to tell you the secret. My mother is like any other aged woman who loves to talk about womanly issues, such as who got married, how many sons so and so has, which of them is the eldest and so on. I consider all this frivolous, but she loves chatting about it. She feels that the information she shares with me is priceless as it can not be found in any book, audio or website. She feels that she is relating unique information to me and is delighted to do so! Whenever I sit with her I instigate such conversations and she becomes elated and continues to speak ceaselessly. My brothers talk about issues that do not interest her and so she feels bored in their company and longs to be in mine! That is all there is to it.

Yes, if you realize the nature of the one you are conversing with, what he likes and dislikes, you will be able to capture his heart.

Taken from the book “Enjoy your life” by Dr. Mohammed Abdur Rehman Al-Arifi

Re: Use the right flavor

this so true ... trsut me my grandma is the same way ... she wants to talk about random relatives who i have no clue about and she also thinks that this information is invaluable

Re: Use the right flavor

Not just aged people. You need to adjust yourself according to the person you interact with, without really killing your real self.(And without making people believe you have Multiple Personalities Disorder). This is the key to make others comfortable in your company.

Re: Use the right flavor

So very true . Being a good listener is sometimes better than a good speaker .

looks like a recommendation to start kissing ass liberally in order to be liked.

true,. my nani (may allah grant her jannah) was the same

Re: Use the right flavor

What if it's just gossip? I can't sit there and take part in gossip no matter who it's with or how aged the person is.

Especially if it's putting another person down! I mean, a couple of days later, it could be me they're talking baout!