Re: Urgent views/advice needed: Marriage Problem
Well, there are 2 huge things that have happened here, a stranger (bride) has moved in with a family who already have their way of doing things. This is going to cause tension between both parties.
Secondly, her husband is doesn't appear to be fulfilling her expectations of him as being the breadwinner, so she has to earn for their future.
Compromise if called for. Let go of whatever happened in the past with in-laws, if you are going to live with them, then make an effort to fit in, because they are already established and it's unlikely that they will change their ways for you.
So new bride keeps her OWN room organised, but MIL does ALL the cooking. This looks like bride is only interested in herself and will take from others, but won't contribute to others herself. I would resent my SIL if she only looked out for her own interests and expected my mum to cook for her without her ever helping out with everyone else. Her MIL is NOT her servant, neither is it the other way around. If bride wants to diffuse tensions, SHE SHOULD MAKE AN EFFORT TO CONTRIBUTE and this means at least try to learn to cook, its not hard, and MIL could teach her.
About the bread winning, it is my personal view DO NOT GIVE UP WORKING because when you do, you won't be able to go back to it. Husband and bride need to agree their future goals, if it means saving up to move out, husband should re-assess his money habits and work out a saving portion, and he should understand that wife needs to work to save for future, bcos he seems useless at this.
As they all live in one household, groom should be donating towards the expenses, he needs to work out what is fair.