Fingirl advice ur friend to completely stop thinking about moving out and financial issues.Don't discuss these things with her husband.stop all arguements.Her husband can work out the financial issues himself. Keep sharing the housework even if MIL says no.keep asking for some work.Sometimes ppl say no but they expect the bahu to insist n help around. when husband n wife r alone don't tlk abt any controversial subject.even if husband starts a topic change it tactfully. For some situation jee jee works better.
Mabrook...you are right to point out how leaving all the issues on hand might actually lead to an improved relationship between the husband and wife. the thing is there are days when she intentionally avoids bringing them up but it doesnt stay that way for long...
On the contrary, her husband maybe out of embarassment or pride doesn't prefer an open discussion when it comes to deciding on future goals. he understands his weakness and claims to be looking around for better options, but then that's that! in fact not talking about the issues not only frustrates her but makes her stronlgy feel about his difference.
i can't agree with you more on the "jee jee" bit. to my friend, she feels to have compromised ever since their engagement. her husband didnt like her work and complained of his being home before her. her office agreed accomodating to this by letting her work a straight shift without lunch break. perhaps the biggest compromise was sticking to him when it all got bad and would have been a difficult pick for anyone in her situation. the decision was made and she takes complete accountability for it....the test in which she is put after marriage for which she was unware hurts her.
as for insisting on household work, i would appreciate if you throw more light on this. in what ways do u think she could contribute to the household chores other than cleaning or cooking, as mil insists she cooks and the maid does the cleaning....? it would be helpful to get some ideas on this