my sister is geting a khulla. long story short-abusive husband, vilent, threatening etc, she only stayed 2 months in pak after wedding and has been back in uk since. its been over a year. now, after giving notice to him, they replied back saying they deny all allegations and SENT A LIST OF THINGS THEY WANT BACK SUCH AS MONEY FOR WEDDING HALLS AND FOOD ETC , unebeliebvle,im shocked and sickened they making my family suffer more.
do courts take these things seriously, do they really agree with these lists…i did hear people do this but do they get what they want…its shocking.
so sorry to hear this. i dont get it, usually the girl side send lists like these regarding all that she had brought on her marriage. what about her Hak Mehar and does she has kids.
if she is processing the khulla through Pakistan then, frankly, anything can happen.
if she registered the marriage in UK and is filing for divorce there (the preferred method) then such claims from their side for expenses incurred can either be denied outright or countered with equivalent or greater expenses from the bride's side.
Unbelievable how low some people get. It is not like that you didn't lose any money, you can counterclaim. I think you can have the marriage annulled here anyway.
my sister is geting a khulla. long story short-abusive husband, vilent, threatening etc, she only stayed 2 months in pak after wedding and has been back in uk since. its been over a year. now, after giving notice to him, they replied back saying they deny all allegations and SENT A LIST OF THINGS THEY WANT BACK SUCH AS MONEY FOR WEDDING HALLS AND FOOD ETC , unebeliebvle,im shocked and sickened they making my family suffer more.
do courts take these things seriously, do they really agree with these lists.....i did hear people do this but do they get what they want.....its shocking.
As per my info the most she can loose is her haq mehar and the jewellery etc that they gave her. They can not and will not get claim for the expenses they have made on food , halls etc it's ridiculous. Just get a good lawyer , these cases don't take long , judge will ask a few questions and will grant khulla.
They will say alot of things to hurt your sis and your family just ignore them and don't let them succeed . Plus , even the gifts that she got from them are hers legally because they have been gifted and now her property but I fear the judge may ask to return them if not judge many rishteydaars will force her to return them.
Don't worry things will get settled ultimately it's just a crucial time right now so be strong for your family and sis.
^ but once she gets a court granted khula from Pakistani court I don't think she would need to go the entire court proceedings to obtain divorce from uk court I assume and hope that the uk divorce the happen fast then (just my assumption)
we are in a reverse situation for my brother so I am not sure if this helps:
his ex took all the money,jewelry,jahaiz,clothes,haq mehr,etc within 3 months of shadi and left. While we were working on divorce papers, she claimed khula and a filed a case against us claiming all the jewelry,jahaiz,clothes worth MORE than it was, that she already had taken with her( we didnt have signed evidence of handing over all the stuff/jewelry because we never knew in our dreams we were dealing with professional thugs) :halo: it’s been over 16 months and there has been no proceeding except the lawyers delaying the case. People kill the ex-prime minister of pakistan and become a president :halo: -so the state of lawlessness is quite evident.
As far as ‘khula’ is concerned, she can file it and it will be applicable within 90 days no matter what. she will have to surrender haq mehr,that’s it. If they wrote jewelry in haq mehr (some families do it, my ILs did that too) then she’ll have to return it and she will be done. if they file a separate case claiming money etc other than mehr, your lawyer can take it on for yearssssss but she will be free from the wedlock in 90 days in any case.
Unfortunately, My brother also went through this. His ex took everything we let her as long as we didnt have to deal with her and the family ever again. 1 year later she had the audacity to say she made a mistake and wanted to be his wife again. It took 3 years for him to financially and mentally recover from this, it was devastating to all of us. Later we had found out that that she and her family had done the same thing to another 2 families one in USA and one in Canada. We had no idea! She was incredibly beautiful and very charming (so were the family) people safeguard yourselves from men and women like this!!!
but judge decided wether haq merh bak or not right? its not automatically given back is it…i dont understand islamic law- its unfair on the girl who has suffered and now also has to give back her security. sometimes i do wonder about our religion-sorry to say.
commonlaw- and he wouldve suffered more, shariah law seems to favour the guy.
also- she married in pak. hes a pak citizen. does she need a civil divorce in the uk too, as marriage anywhere is valid anywhere and she is a uk cit.
I don't know what to say --- I certainly have no words to describe these types of acts -Now I am not aware of Pakistan Law about divorce but She have to give BACK nothing not a single penny --let me see if I can post Surah 4 verse 4 ??
Sahih International
And give the women [upon marriage] their [bridal] gifts graciously. But if they give up willingly to you anything of it, then take it in satisfaction and ease.
Muhsin Khan
And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart, but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm (as Allah has made it lawful).
Pickthall
And give unto the women (whom ye marry) free gift of their marriage portions; but if they of their own accord remit unto you a part thereof, then ye are welcome to absorb it (in your wealth).
Yusuf Ali
And give the women (on marriage) their dower as a free gift; but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, Take it and enjoy it with right good cheer.
Shakir
And give women their dowries as a free gift, but if they of themselves be pleased to give up to you a portion of it, then eat it with enjoyment and with wholesome result.
Dr. Ghali
And bring the women their dowries as an endowment, so in case they are good to you concerning any portion of it, (Literally: in case they feel good in themselves to you about anything of it) then eat it up rejoicing with wholesome appetite (i.e., take it and make use of it to your profit and advantage).
Firstly, we are not aalims! If I have limited knowledge about islam, I would dare not utter the phrase ‘wonder about my religion’ :halo: but accept that my knowledge and understanding about it is lacking and needs to be sorted before questioning certain things that are beyond my understanding.
anyway,‘khula’ means a woman has to offer something (mehr,or even more if the husband demands) to her husband to release her from the wedlock. ‘divorce’ means since a husband is leaving her on his own wish,so he HAS to pay her mahr as security. So there is nothing unfair here ! Please read translation of surah nisa and surah talaq about the matter of divorce in islam before calling shariah law unfair :halo: Allah has given even more rights to woman and has ordered men to ‘relieve’ their divorced wives with all respect and gifts ! you cannot call a girl ‘bechari sufferer’ one sidedly
Someone I know went through this process, guy was from pak, as he refused to divorce her, she obtained khula through sharia law. Takes time with paperwork,etc. If she does it frm the uk and guy is in pak, they will try to contact the guy through letters in order to hear his side of the story, depending on his response or lack off decision will be made, usually khula will be granted.
If the guy has already obtained a visa and came to the uk, she will have to file for civil divorce as in the uk law she will be married and if she does not get civil divorce will face difficulty in the future should she wish to remarry. This process also takes time as solicitor will contact the guy for him to acknowledge and process and give consent.
As I mentioned earlier I am not aware of Pakistan Law but now I will try to post 4:19 (Surah 4:verse 19) I already have posted Verse 4 4:4
Sahih International
O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion. And do not make difficulties for them in order to take [back] part of what you gave them unless they commit a clear immorality. And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.
Muhsin Khan
O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will, and you should not treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the Mahr you have given them, unless they commit open illegal sexual intercourse. And live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good.
Pickthall
O ye who believe! It is not lawful for you forcibly to inherit the women (of your deceased kinsmen), nor (that) ye should put constraint upon them that ye may take away a part of that which ye have given them, unless they be guilty of flagrant lewdness. But consort with them in kindness, for if ye hate them it may happen that ye hate a thing wherein Allah hath placed much good.
Yusuf Ali
O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may Take away part of the dower ye have given them,-except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.
Shakir
O you who believe! it is not lawful for you that you should take women as heritage against (their) will, and do not straiten them in order that you may take part of what you have given them, unless they are guilty of manifest indecency, and treat them kindly; then if you hate them, it may be that you dislike a thing while Allah has placed abundant good in it.
Dr. Ghali
O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women against their will; (Literally: through compulsion) neither pose problems for them that you may go away with some (part) of what you have brought them except when they come up with a (demonstrably) evident obscenity. And consort with them with beneficence; so in case you hate them, then it is possible you may hate something, and Allah sets in it much charity (i.e. benefit).
i dont get it, usually the girl side send lists like these regarding all that she had brought on her marriage. what about her Hak Mehar and does she has kids.
and then people say ‘Allah sub ki betioan ki qismat achi karayn’ ..who cares what they do to other peoples’ sons/brothers ?