URGENT! BOYS FAMILY DONT AGREE TO RISHTA

Lifestyle Wedding, Fashion & Beauty
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Salaam ppl,

I need everybodys honest and serious advice here,
my friend wants to marry someone, and they both love each other
but for a year now the guys parents keep fobbing him off when he mentions that he wants to marry my friend and wants them to ask for her hand.

But now they said straight up ‘NO’, they want him to marry abroad,
now the guy said hes going to pack his bags, and wants my friend to do the same and leave home in a couple of weeks.

But the girl doesnt want to do that, she said she is never going to leave like that without a nikkah, so the guy said I WILL come and ask for your hand and we will get a nikkah in front of your parents (the girls parents have no prob with rishta otherwise) the guy has asked other members of family for back up but no-one will go against his mum and dad.
but the girl is worried how it will look in front of her relatives and doesnt know what to do??
please give some serious advice and please pray somehow his parents will accept.

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*The first thing he needs to do is clam down!! Anything which gets "resolved" in rage/anger usually doesn't have a positive ending. So this is in the girl's hands, to calm him down, and then think of their next action plan. *

She needs to let him know that, she isn't running away from home or getting nikah done in this manner because she doesn't love him, but its because she does not want the marriage to start with a negative aspect! This is really imp for HIM to understand.

*Her parents need to be updated, and maybe, if he comes and talks to her parents(since they are more open to this marriage) they can also clam him down and give some parental advice. *

*After he is thinking straight, he should approach this again with his parents, and understand what are the reasons for his parents telling him NO! Why do they not like her, even though their son will only marry her. *

*I know how hard it can be, since i just went through my sisters shaadi kinda like this, but the one thing i have understood the most is, to NEVER cut your parents off, even if they are way off line, but there is a reason for everything!! They only want the best for their child! *

Now that doesn't mean he skips and gets married to someone else, but he needs to meet his parents some where in the middle. Understand thier needs!

*There is always hope, as long as you're willing to do the work!! They have a BIG challenge facing them, as long as they are one the same page, they can and will iA' get through this! *

Just because you're losing hope that does not mean you also lose communication, with your other half <<<also really imp for both of them to understand!

And lets not forget, if his parents give him no real reason to not marry her, he can also bring in the community Imam in to bring the family together, and meet somewhere that he is able to get married to her and his parents are okay with this!

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Re: URGENT! BOYS FAMILY DONT AGREE TO RISHTA

thanks for your reply, she is just so worried the guys family have never met or spoke to her so dont know why they are objecting, my friend is thinking of getting a imam involved.
inshallah everything will b ok, but he does not believe his parents will back down, even his brother and sister said that thier parents dont care, and he should do what he thinks is right, but is it though? wont his parents curse her that she took thier son away? even though they wont be living with the in-laws after marriage?

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Re: URGENT! BOYS FAMILY DONT AGREE TO RISHTA

Qyamat se qyamat tak?

very filmi

____ alright I'm outta here ... sorry.....

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Re: URGENT! BOYS FAMILY DONT AGREE TO RISHTA

If they want to be with each other, they should get married. if the guy can afford his own house and wont make the girl live with his parents, then i dont see the problem. Parents can be very unreasonable at times.

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Re: URGENT! BOYS FAMILY DONT AGREE TO RISHTA

i agree with tammys comment.
Islamically the guy is his own mehram, meaning he really does not need his parents permission. Only the girl needs that.
So if he is a genuine guy and wants they make it work with the girl for good, and the family is being pain in.. then i would say grab some courage and get a nikkah done with her.
but obviously had been best if the parents could give them both their blessings.
sadly it is often seen that the cultural part of parenting(making them stubborn and thinking they absolutely know best) screws up a lot for their children.
As it makes them less cooperative and not wanting to see things from their children's point of view.

may Allah help them both, and may He open doors and ease their problems in the best way possible.

Ameen.

time pass...WELCOME AUGUST ~*~ پاکستان زِنده با د‎ ~*~
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Re: URGENT! BOYS FAMILY DONT AGREE TO RISHTA

they are probably objecting to even meeting her becos as u said they want him to marry abroad and they have probably already given their word to someone and dont want to back down now and 'lose face' with them. he's already said himself tht his parents will not back down so there's no point in him hanging around and wasting time. provided tht at this stage in his life he can afford to move out he should just go to her house ask for permission and marry her. yes the parents will probably curse her but at the end of the day the parents need to look at their own behaviour too. its not like he wants to do something outrageous.

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Also agree with Tammy's comment. In the Hanafi madhab tho an adult girl does not require her mehram's permission to marry. Obviously it's not recommended to go down that route, but like it or not the marriage would still be valid. If the girl isn't Hanafi and dad isn't agreeing she can appoint another mehram of 'good character' eg. uncle or imam of her local mosque to take his place..