Today i found two pictures that my 8 yr old boy drew of a topless woman in his pockets
I asked where he got them from and he was really scared to say first and i calmly said ’ i wont shout just tell me ’
he then said he drew them, i then asked ’ where did you see this ’ and he said whilst playing games on internet he saw something.
i am totally shocked and dont know what to say or do
I already have parent locks on laptop and have two accounts on it, one for kids and one for parents
I have searched the internet for some advice and couldnt see anything useful
I really need some advice as to what to say to him when he gets back from school, please help
I think you need to explain things to him from Quranic references that this is wrong and that Allah talah dislike this and give gunnah for this and that He also punish so such things. I mean you will have to create understanding of things that are WRONG through some proper and strong resource and I believe Quran and Islamic teaching is the best ! Getting angry on him will not give you a permanent solution it may cause him to do it even more.
I don’t have a son and I have never been in such a situation but this is the best I could think of …best wishes
i think ths is the best way.usely we just shout at our kids n become so rash in that kind of situation, but ths is not the solution,i ve 2 son,one is 3 n the otherone is 7 1/2. when he was 4 yrs old i just started to tell him abt the respect of women n girls,and with the passage of time he hs become aweared of that the girl or awomen in every form is able to give respect.
As in ur situation, i think if just he understand what is wrong and right then he will automaticaly avoide these kind of things,also check is friends n company coz mowadays the boys carry many wrong things frm their comany.
He is learning to draw and has not gotten to the the point where he can draw clothes on those women. Give him some time to learn and you will find pictures of fully clothes women in his pockets. :D
The point being he is a kid , he does not know what he was/is doing , if he did know what he was doing and it is immoral and would get him in trouble then he would have made sure that you do no find out.
So just let him know what he did is immoral and you do not like it.
References from Quran , Hadees and Sunnat are good for a grown up person not for an 8 year old boy. Since he goes to Masjid school he might have been told about these things there .
Do not make a big deal out of it , do not shame him about it , do not embarrass him , do not yell or scream , be cool about it all. If you do then he might do it again but you will not know about it next time.
I am raising two boys and a girl. My older son draws professional quality animation since he was 6 years of age. He used to draw anatomically correct animations of women at that age , fully clothes though.
**tell him lovingly in plain words that it's wrong and that you are very sad about it. also, tell him that Allah will be upset with you.
i'm saure there are more effective parental control softwares available out in the market. plz invest in one of the best softwares. i think you must monitor him more closely 24-7. tell him that you will be watching him now on. have him use the computer in the open areas of the house and defo NOT in his closed room.make a rule that he can ONLY use the computer while in the presence of his parents or an adult.**
i agree with Mirch- shaming him, embarassing him, and making him feel bad about this is the wrong way to go about it. he was on the internet, crap came up, and he drew it. we all know how pop up's can be so intrusive - maybe you need stronger parental control settings? he wasn't looking for the crap and he wasn't drawing it for thrills. plus he seems to already be feeling bad about this and knowing he's done something wrong from his reluctance to tell you, so now you have to calmly explain to him why its wrong so he avoids it in the future. i also don't think you have to go hardcore mullah on him- just saying its unpleasing to Allah and something that would upset you if he went down this path again should be sufficient. after all, at some point in the future iA he will be having relations with his wife and you don't want to traumatize him now to the point where he finds all interactions with women stressful. you might also want to look into exactly how he came upon the material... was it discussed at school and did someone mention it to him? if it was another friend, then it might be time to encourage him to find him some new friends.
questions like these make me think of what I would do if it happened to me and my child.
for some reason I found myself thinking that I would likely sit down with her and using the proper tools (i.e. books and materials designed specifically for this age group and purpose) I would introduce her to the human body.....both male and female.
I would turn the opportunity into a learning experience.....a little for myself and a lot for her. (I suspect there would be a lot of gasps and giggles in the process to keep the subject matter light-hearted.) During the session I would talk about what is appreciated in terms of modesty and what isn't. And instead of bringing Allah mian into this we could talk about etiquette and self-esteem.
