hey guppies,
i had a conversation today with my cuzin n we were talkin bout marriage. n he asked me wen u get marid wuld u wear a burka hijab.
n i sed no cuz i wont be comfortable with it. n i asked why wuld u want ur fiance to wear dt?. n hes like yea the guys in paksitan they r perverts the way they luk at gals n al dt i dnt like it. n i asked wt if ur wife is uncomfortable wearn it wuld u force er n he sed yea. he goes allah sed if a gal doesnt wear it shes sendin 5 ppl to hell who she knows.
but im confused isnt forcing ur wife to do sumthin wrong aswel in our religion?
i herd its like rape but i dnt kno i wuld like to know ur views
thnx
hey guppies, i had a conversation today with my cuzin n we were talkin bout marriage. n he asked me wen u get marid wuld u wear a burka hijab. n i sed no cuz i wont be comfortable with it. n i asked why wuld u want ur fiance to wear dt?. n hes like yea the guys in paksitan they r perverts the way they luk at gals n al dt i dnt like it. n i asked wt if ur wife is uncomfortable wearn it wuld u force er n he sed yea. he goes allah sed if a gal doesnt wear it shes sendin 5 ppl to hell who she knows.
He is making this up , he is putting his words in Allah's mouth , it is one of the big sins.
but im confused isnt forcing ur wife to do sumthin wrong aswel in our religion? i herd its like rape but i dnt kno i wuld like to know ur views thnx
And where and in which context did you hear it from ?
Re: ur views on forcin ur wife to wea hijaab burkha
well in the quran it says for women to cover themselves from the head to their chest.... and it also says to make sure you spouse follows islam ..so i dont think what hes doing is wrong..
Re: ur views on forcin ur wife to wea hijaab burkha
And where and in which context did you hear it from ?
i asked my aunty bout the hijab thing and forcin ur wife she sed forcin ur wife in ene situation n shes uncomfortable with it its like rape.
but i wasnt sure if i shuld blv dt comment it doesnt sound ryt
Re: ur views on forcin ur wife to wea hijaab burkha
Even Allah does not force his commandments then how can Allah allow/order humans to force any religious commands ?
Allah says in Quran with no ambiguity left " la ikrah fid deen. " meaning there is no compulsion in religion.
This guy should be such a role model for his family that his wife and kids would love to follow his foot steps on the path to religious salvation. Any kind of religious activity if it is done with the fear of a human instead of love or fear of Allah is show off or hypocrisy.
Re: ur views on forcin ur wife to wea hijaab burkha
Salaam,
This is what is stated in the Holy Quran:
“O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks close round them (when they go abroad). That will be better, so that they may be recognised and not annoyed. Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful.” (Quran 33:59).
Re: ur views on forcin ur wife to wea hijaab burkha
This is also something which i found:
This is a good question and there is a beautiful answer! Allaah has commanded us with every action that is good for us and prohibited us from performing every action that is bad for us. Allaah orders the Muslim woman to wear the hijaab when she steps out of the security of her home or when in the presence of strange men. So to wear the hijaab is a source of great good for you – the Muslim woman - for many reasons. Among them:
You please Allaah. You are obeying the commands of your Lord when you wear the hijaab and you can expect great rewards in return.
It is Allaah’s protection of your natural beauty. You are too precious to be "on display" for each man to see.
It is Allaah’s preservation of your chastity.
Allaah purifies your heart and mind through the hijaab.
Allaah beautifies your inner and outer countenance with hijaab. Outwardly your hijaab reflects innocence, purity, modesty, shyness, serenity, contentment and obedience to your Lord. Inwardly you cultivate the same.
Allaah defines your femininity through the hijaab. You are a woman who respects her womanhood. Allaah wants you to be respected by others, and for you to respect yourself.
Allaah raises your dignity through the hijaab. When a strange man looks at you, he respects you because he sees that you respect yourself.
Allaah protects your honour 100% through your hijaab. Men do not gaze at you in a sensual way, they do not approach you in a sensual way, and neither do they speak to you in a sensual way. Rather, a man holds you in high esteem and that is just by one glance at you!
Allaah gives you nobility through the hijaab. You are noble not degraded because you covered not naked.
Allaah demonstrates your equality as a Muslim woman through the hijaab. Your Lord bestows upon you equal worth as your male counterpart, and gives you a host of beautiful rights and liberties. You express your acceptance of these unique rights by putting on the hijaab.
Allaah defines your role as a Muslim woman through the hijaab. You are a someone with important duties. You are a reflection of a woman of action not idle pursuits. You display your sense of direction and purpose through your hijaab. You are someone that people take seriously.
Allaah expresses your independence through the hijaab. You are stating clearly that you are an obedient servant of the Greatest Master. You will obey no one else and follow no other way. You are not a slave to any man, nor a slave to any nation. You are free and independent from all man-made systems.
Allaah gives you the freedom of movement and _expression through the hijaab. You are able to move about and communicate without fear of harassment. Your hijaab gives you a unique confidence.
Allaah wants others to treat you – a Muslim woman - with kindness. And the hijaab brings about the best treatment of men towards you.
Allaah wants your beauty to be preserved and saved for just one man to enjoy – your husband.
Allaah helps you to enjoy a successful marriage through wearing hijaab. Because you reserve your beauty for one man alone, your husband’s love for you increases, he cherishes you more, he respects you more and he honours you more. So your hijaab contributes to a successful and lasting marriage relationship.
Allaah brings about peace and stability in the society through the hijaab! Yes this is true! Men do not cause corruption by forming illegal relationships because you - the Muslim woman - calm their passions. When a man looks at you, he feels at ease, not tempted to fornicate…
So a Muslim woman in hijaab is dignified, not dishonoured, noble, not degraded, liberated, not subjugated, purified, not sullied, independent, not a slave, protected, not exposed, respected, not laughed at, confident, not insecure, obedient, not a sinner, a guarded pearl, not a prostitute…
isnt forcing ur wife to do sumthin wrong aswel in our religion?
there's nothing wrong in forcing one's spouse to do or follow "a good deed according to islam" ,
however morally & ethically it's not fair and wise to force yr own spouse to do anything .
Re: ur views on forcin ur wife to wea hijaab burkha
agree with Mirch and others who say that one should be a shining example for the rest of his family so automatically his family will follow. no1 should force, everything comes with love.
an interesting article on this matter of niqab and compulsion: Hijab, Niqab, Compulsion, and Religious Change
Re: ur views on forcin ur wife to wea hijaab burkha
I am totally against forcing anyone to do anything, because the internal force is more stronger and long lasting than the external force when it comes to beliefs. I personally had to go through a lot of family pressure when I truly wanted to practice my beliefs, without imposing it on others.
What makes me sad is the fact that in this time and age people "need" to force people to dress modestly. Not long ago (100 years from today) even in western world it was common for women to wear lose clothes, full sleeves and a hat. Probably in those times the news which used to make headlines were **" A man forced his wife not to wear a hat to cover her head " **irrespective of her religion.
With the arrival of media, it seems that the influence and external force was not on wearing graceful dresses which protect the honor and dignity of a woman, but unfortunately the social pressure was more on decreasing the amount of clothes on women, which a lot of them accepted as part of their daily life.
Re: ur views on forcin ur wife to wea hijaab burkha
my point of view is if the guy wants his wife to wear niqab because he wants her to be safe from evil eyes of "pakistani" men that is another case(although i have seen some idiots even staring at woman in niqab).but if he wants her to become a good muslim woman by wearing hijab,i dont think so it will work.as somebody mentioned in above post,internal change will be much stronger and permanent than external one.
i herd its like rape but i dnt kno i wuld like to know ur views thnx
Not quite.
Obviously any type of force is wrong but I think its a bit extreme to say its like rape.
Re: ur views on forcin ur wife to wea hijaab burkha
No no, its not good to force one's wife to wear hijab. Its beter to divorce her.
Re: ur views on forcin ur wife to wea hijaab burkha
The guy who wants his wife to wear hijaab is right about one thing....in Pak, when gals go out without hijaab, the guys really do give them a tough time. I didnt see this in the cities but in the towns, certainly. Some of them actually wagged their joneses at uncovered women!!! (I almost suffocated with laughter when I saw that!!)
Anyway, I think its very wrong to force a woman to wear hijaab even if she's your wife. But I also see nothing wrong with telling a wife that it isnt safe or smart to go out uncovered in certain situations.
Re: ur views on forcin ur wife to wea hijaab burkha
^yeah...but it doesnt solve the problem :) the "wolf-men" are still wandering the streets........lol
- Allaah brings about peace and stability in the society through the hijaab! Yes this is true! Men do not cause corruption by forming illegal relationships because you - the Muslim woman - calm their passions. When a man looks at you, he feels at ease, not tempted to fornicate…
So a Muslim woman in hijaab is dignified, not dishonoured, noble, not degraded, liberated, not subjugated, purified, not sullied, independent, not a slave, protected, not exposed, respected, not laughed at, confident, not insecure, obedient, not a sinner, a guarded pearl, not a prostitute…
I wish this was true but I've wandered around alone in Canada, UK, and the US at night with no problems in 20 years but in the 2 weeks i was in pakistan (fully covered), i had my butt pinched and slapped on more than one occasion. i was only 90 lbs at the time so it's not like i have a huge ass.
on top of that, one day i was walking with my grandma's cousin after fajr and this guy took out his junk from his shalwar...that too in front of the imambara. i was shocked. then some ladies yelled at him and he ran away.
when i told my cousin, i was outraged and she was like "why are you freaking out? yahan to aksar aisa hota hai." and every single one of my cousins had an incident like that...they just hadn't said anything because in pk ppl assume the girl is kharab if some perv approaches her. personally i think it's unfair to say a woman wearing chador/hijab+shalwar kameez should be blamed for 'exciting' some guy's passions or tempting him to fornicate...in my opinion, shalwar kameez is a very modest dress. the question is, if a Muslim woman IS dishonored regularly by other Muslim men despite being fully covered, what avenues are left?
Re: ur views on forcin ur wife to wea hijaab burkha
u shudnt live ur life how someone tells u to
Re: ur views on forcin ur wife to wea hijaab burkha
I hate men in Pakistan. I used to wear abayas when I visited but even then I had to cover my face because their cheapness just wouldn't end.
Re: ur views on forcin ur wife to wea hijaab burkha
Wearing hijab or abaya is definetely a commendable act, one in accordance with Islamic teachings. However, I feel one should do it for the right reasons, not out of fear or force. The iman in one's heart is only for Allah to judge and if his wife feels comfortable wearing it then yes, she should go ahead, but if she is forced, it may turn out to be a negative.
A good friend of mine married a guy who forced her to wear a hijab. At first she was very resistant and she wore it out of fear of being taunted by him. But when she wore it, she noticed her husband was very happy, he encouraged her and appreciated her so much that her fear changed into comfort and soon she began to identify herself with it. She now wears it out of free will and very happily. So you hear all kind of stories. You just have to figure out what works for you.
Wearing hijab or abaya is definetely a commendable act, one in accordance with Islamic teachings. However, I feel one should do it for the right reasons, not out of fear or force. The iman in one's heart is only for Allah to judge and if his wife feels comfortable wearing it then yes, she should go ahead, but if she is forced, it may turn out to be a negative.
A good friend of mine married a guy who forced her to wear a hijab. At first she was very resistant and she wore it out of fear of being taunted by him. But when she wore it, she noticed her husband was very happy, he encouraged her and appreciated her so much that her fear changed into comfort and soon she began to identify herself with it. She now wears it out of free will and very happily. So you hear all kind of stories. You just have to figure out what works for you.
Well said sister. JazakAllah khair. Allah (s.w.t) blesses people towards guidance through different means. If people are sincere in their search for the ultimate truth without inclination towards temporary worldly benefits, they would inshaAllah reach it one way or the other.