ur suggestion on ???????

Lifestyle Relationships
1

Hi there all Guppians

heres sumthing i want to discuss wth all of u, its related to a very best frnd of mine

she is involved wth a guy for past 2 yrs and no doubt that boy loves her too, infact they both love each other, both are on different lands but even then stay connected by different means,

now comes to the serious note of their marriage,
that boy has just finished his studies and started job, his wish is to make his investments in like home first of all and then he’ll be ready to get married,as he is living at his frnd’s home in batchelorship. he wants to get stable first. he need around 2 yrs more to be that much stable. as he dont want to depend on his frnds or family in future.

which I think is a responsable n mature thinking.

girl is satisfied with his this decision aswell n she is also not in rush of getting married. but her elder sister always teases her by saying that “he is just fooling u around, he is just wasting ur time”

that guy wen visited pk 2 months back, he wished to meet her mom so that atleast her mum can see that theres a serious progress from his side, mentioning thet her mum knows him too as they both were once class mates, but she never knew abt their involment in each other,wen she come to kno, she got angry, but after all she is mother so she permitted him to come home to meet her in person.

he did that, he came to her home to meet her mother in father’s absence, he was too scared of dad, lolz and talked seriously abt his intreast in her.

no doubt he is from a descent n libral family so mom didnt find anything negative in him,n liked him.

the thing thats bugging her is that still he is not involving his parents, reason he says that his parents and his relatives will create a problem for her in this period of time, as he knows them very well, his relatives like (Chachoo and Mamoo) really want him to get married to their dauighters, thats why they will defenately create hurdles once this secret got opened infront of them all.
as till yet boy has kept it secret from his relatives.

on the other hand her mum says that she wont accept his one visit as a proper proposal untill n unless anyone elder from his family will pop the question, she says that she can consider any other proposal aswell in this period of time.

she got tensed so easily,sumtimes she feels as that guy is really wasting her time, sumthimes she thinks thats he is right at his place

now she is in hanging situation, cant figureout wat to do?

guys ur comments and suggestions are invited,…

2

Re: ur suggestion on ???????

To your friend:
I got a good vibe from the guy. My vibes are always right.

Now, on a serious note, it makes perfect sense that he doesn't want his crazy relatives involved in this at this point in time. He is being responsible. He has done everything in his power to not only make sure that you feel secure and wanted by speaking with your family personally, but he is also making sure that your respect and peace of mind are kept up by not involving his family -- who will obviously create problems for him and you both.

He is decent enough to tell you straight up that he will not make a life long commitment to you until he is able, both financially and mentally. He wants to make sure he is able to provide for you and keep you safe and happy so he told you about how he plans to get a place to live and settle down before he can "officially" ask you to come into his life for good. That is very respectable.

He doesn't ask you for anything. All he wants from you is patience and support. He is willing to do it all for you and with you. He just needs time to make it all happen.

His family is obviously not the brightest of people and knowing that, he has made the right decision not to get them involved just yet. But he has spoken to your mom in person and been a great gentleman.

I can totally understand your mom's position. She is the "larki kee maa" and she needs to protect your honor. Now how old are you? If you're young enough, you can surely wait it out (2 yrs) without being pushed into a marriage with someone else. However, if your parents feel you must get married right away, then you need to make sure you tell him that so he can come up with some other solution.

He seems like a sensible boy who's just starting out, yet, he is willing to make a genuine commitment and stick to it.
That is very respectable.
Please support him.

PS: Tell your sister to shut the hell up and get laid.

Good luck!

3

YP you kill me :omg:

4

Re: ur suggestion on ???

^ :rotfl:

5

Re: ur suggestion on ???????

I dont know...I feel like he is sincere. His feelings are definitely in the right place.

However, a girl needs more than just a meeting with mom. If he is serious about this girl and has made a commitment in heart to marry her, why hide it from her father? If he is scared of his family finding out, then what does that say for the remainder of the decisions in life?

Im sorry, there is a very simple solution to all of this: Provided you love her and want her as a wife in the FUTURE

Talk to both families and strike while the iron is hot: get a simple nikah done and rukhsati later.

Then, take as long as you want to build your home, future, life, etc. This is security for the girl and allows the guy time to fulfill his dreams.

:)

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Re: ur suggestion on ???????

YP, I agree.

7

Re: ur suggestion on ???????

Hey PS, you still didn't tell me how your name is pronounced? :p Does it begin with a R"EE" or a R"AY" (sound).

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Re: ur suggestion on ???????

Why dosen't he involve his parents?

9

Hey YP, its pronounced, Reeha. Since its only 4 letters, it gets mutilated a lot, lol.

I go by Reha, Riya, Ree Ree, Ree, Ray, Ray Ray, etc.

Take your pick!!!! LOL

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Re: ur suggestion on ???????

I like ray ray! :D

11

@YP,
as far as the situation continues, it shows that the boy is sincere wth the girl, she is also ready to wait for him for 2 more yrs n wanna support him, but
her sis is creating problems, she keeps teling her mum not to wait for that guy, he is just wasting time and doing nothing. she says to consider any other descent proposal instead, although her intentions are not bad, she just dont want her sister to wait for sumone for too long without any commitment

ma frnd's age is 25,she is Mashallah gud looking n descent girl and ideal for every one, so its obvious where ever she goes, people like her so much that they are ready to ask her hand from parents.

during her involvement she got 2-3 seroius proposals from descent families, but she didnt show any intreast in them and made lame excuses, luckily she belongs to a liberal family, so her parents are not crack to let their daughter marry by force

@Kapray

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Why dosen't he involve his parents?
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his parents knows that their son is intreasted in a girl, but who is she? they dont kno, n he dont wanna involve his parents cuz he says that "Mujhe buzurgon pe bharosa nahi hai" his parents were also eager to let him get marrid to any of his causin wen he was on visit to pk, but he refused and protested by returning right after 3days but then his parents didnt let him return and agreed n said they'll not force him anymore, so now his parents have been silents spectators but still he has sum fear, thats why he dont wanna give chance to anyone to ruin this relationship in his absence.

@ PSquared

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Im sorry, there is a very simple solution to all of this: Provided you love her and want her as a wife in the FUTURE

Talk to both families and strike while the iron is hot: get a simple nikah done and rukhsati later.
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this cud be the best solution that can give them security of relationship,
i'll give her this idea, hope it'll work,

but as far as i think her parents will not appreciate such nikkah only cuz if God forbidden due to any reason, if situation get worse then the only way out is divorce