Pls don’t shoot me for bothering you guys again & again but iam seriously very confused. From my previous threadds, you guys would be having idea about it. On Saturday, after a week of when i gave him break, he sent me an SMS, telling me that, if i want to keep in touch, then i need to promise to change & stop fighting & stop blaming him for things. i agreed. So he just asked me to meet him & lets talk & see where it goes. I went & met him & he just started lecturing me on how iam too shakky,etc & the entire time he had a serious & angry look on his face.
The next day when i called him, he did talk & i felt as if he was indirectly telling me that, we were not right one for each other, because, he was like, when do i blame him for being cheat,fraud,etc if he ever tells me to breakup, because, he said, couples meet, and some find out after 10 days of knowing each that they are not meant for each other & some find out after 1 year of knowing each other that they are not meant of each other.
And after that, he has started ignoring me again, without saying anything. If i call him, he doesn’t answer. He doesn’t even respond to reply to my texts. What i don’t understand is that, if he really feels that iam not the right one for you, then why doesn’t he tell me that openly & finish things off & go separate ways. Why does he have to act like a coward & become so quiet? Seeing his such behaviour, that’s why i usually ask him if he wants to breakup & then he starts complaining that iam usually ready to breakup
Pls help me that what should i do? Now iam serious fed-up!
Re: Updates… Suggestions needed once again Pls don’t kill me!
Go separate ways.If this is the situation before marriage ,God knows what you both will go through after marriage.
Move on ,its better for your mental peace as well as his.
Re: Updates… Suggestions needed once again Pls don’t kill me!
And when you both met, did you bother to tell him the relationship concerns YOU had about him…or was it just one-sided discussion where you just nodded your head in agreement to everything he said?
End the relationship and move on. You’re wondering as to why he doesn’t just end things with you if he finds you that incompatible…I think it’s maybe because he would rather that YOU end things first as it would make him feel less guilty and possibly less drama (tears, etc) if you were to end it.
You gave him the space that he requested of you…and you’d think that when he’s seeing you after a long time…that he’d be nicer/happy to see you/appreciative of the effort you made…as opposed to angrily lecturing you. You can’t win with him even if you try to give him what he wants. Before I had suggested that you back off from him for a while, live your life, and see how events unfold and they don’t seem to be improving, etc. It doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship…I think you should end it and move on. Don’t make excuses for him. It will be tough because you’ve invested emotional energy in him and envisioned a future with him…but it’s better to do it now…then when you get in too deep.
Re: Updates… Suggestions needed once again Pls don’t kill me!
So, does that mean he is just looking for a way out when the time has almost come to involve parents? Does that mean he was a typical guy who just lead me on?
Re: Updates… Suggestions needed once again Pls don’t kill me!
You really want to know what you should do? End the relationship and move on with your life.
He is making it clear to you that he’s not happy in this “relationship”. But he doesn’t want to end the relationship himself. You stated yourself that he’s acting like a coward.
What difference does it make as to WHY he’s acting like a coward?
He’s made his feelings clear to you. Now it’s time for you to grow up, develop some self-respect, take control of the situation. Stop wasting anymore of your time with him. End whatever it is that you have with him…and focus on finding a guy who actually wants to be with you long-term.
Re: Updates… Suggestions needed once again Pls don’t kill me!
I’m not a mind-reader…I don’t know your boyfriend. You would know him better than me and even you can’t figure him out. He might have led you on…or he might have gone into it with good intentions and due to various things, the relationship broke down.
***Actions speak louder than words. Pay more attention to his actions…not his words. He told you that he wants you to talk to your parents about a rishta…his words are are saying that he wants to marry you…but what are his actions telling you? I know you you want to figure him out…but one of the most important questions you need to ask (if not the most important question) is whether or not you are even happy with this guy? Does he leave you feeling more miserable than happy? I know it’s hard…but it’s better to find someone who is more compatible and will reciprocate your feelings…as opposed to marrying a guy because you feel that you’ve invested all this energy in him and that therefore it should go somewhere. I think sometimes we feel that way…that we put effort into something…therefore it HAS to work…but it doesn’t always end up like that. And lately you have also been contemplating ending things with him…you’ve even told him a few times that you’re gonna break up with him and you mentioned in your post that you’re feeling fed up…so maybe on some subconscious level…you already know that he’s not right for you but you have yet to acknowledge this possibility to yourself more seriously.
Re: Updates… Suggestions needed once again Pls don’t kill me!
I think it would be interesting if you got some serious male feedback in this thread…not posts wishing you well or responding to your dilemma with a bonga-type question like some of them do…but a serious perspective.
Re: Updates… Suggestions needed once again Pls don’t kill me!
But but he is not “clear” enough, y’know. I think OP should beg and beseech some more, in fact lie down and tell him to step over you, if he does…we can then safely say he is not keen to stay in this relationship. Hopefully for OP that would be a “clear” signal.
Re: Updates… Suggestions needed once again Pls don’t kill me!
Who cares? Once again you’re stating things that doesn’t make any difference in your situation at all. This guy is not serious about you, and he’s not in love with you. Period!
Yes, there are many guys out there like this but that does not mean that this is a “typical” behavior. Just like there are girls out there who lead guys on…who cheat on their BF’s or husband’s etc. There is good and bad in both genders. Unfortunately, you just happened to pick a bad guy. Consider yourself lucky that you found out this now as opposed to after the official engagement or worse…nikah.
Re: Updates… Suggestions needed once again Pls don’t kill me!
As a male I can tell you that if he really cared about you and wanted things to work out, he wouldn’t treat you this way. But then I only know your side, and don’t know what your actions were that drove him to this point. Either way, there is a tactful and respectful way to talk to someone you care about, and it seems to me (from what you have said so far) both of you are miles apart in this regard.
Re: Updates… Suggestions needed once again Pls don’t kill me!
Sometimes actions speaks louder (and clearer) than words. What I do not understand that why you keep on pretending to not understand what he is saying by his actions?
sometimes ‘kuch bhi na kaha aur keh bhi gaeey’ is better for both parties. Tell you what, no matter how insensitive u call us guys, most of the time if we are into it, we are on one-leg to keep the relationship going. If he is not, take the clue.
Re: Updates… Suggestions needed once again Pls don’t kill me!
I would say that pay attention to how a guy acts and NOT to what he says. A guy who is serious and wants you in his life will show it. He will not take a chance to let you leave and / or move on. This guy just sounds like bad news! Cut your losses and move on!
Re: Updates… Suggestions needed once again Pls don’t kill me!
Your last sentence speaks loud and clear. Both of you want to move on but don’t have the courage to be the first to say it. No need to waste energy analyzing his almost bipolar behavior.
Re: Updates… Suggestions needed once again Pls don’t kill me!
Purple, some things are not that hard to figure out.
You will find a lot of situations that don’t need decoding…this is one of them.
He disappears, doesn’t respond to text messages or phone calls, gets angry at the slightest provocation, etc etc etc. He doesn’t sound like he cares too much otherwise he’d be acting like it. Actions speak louder than words.
