Is ‘tail mehndi’ unIslamic tradation in Pakistan? Have Pakistanis adapted it from Hindu culture. But cannot we adapt things from other cultures, when those things are OK according to Islamic teachings? Is ‘tail mehndi’ just a cultural aspect or is there a background which is objectional in Islam.
Brothers here who take their religion Islam seriously, how would their wedding ceremony be like (if they are still unmarried). Because sometimes families of much brothers won’t listen to them and would arrangement wedding ceremony with loud music and other unIslamic things. Would such brothers, allow a hired camera-man (a non-mehram) to go into women’s portion and video tape their women and bride, while other men won’t be allowed to go in there.
^^ and your point is. Life is full of sacrifices and hardships. If Muslims want to follow Islamic traditions, there is nothing wrong with that. If we decide that we do not want to continue on with hindu traditions, we as Mulsims are entitled to do that. Its not a burden my friend it is following your religion. I am not saying that all the "rasmo rivaj" is bad, if there is no need for it dont do it. Islamic wedding includes just a "Nikkah" and a Walima.
I agree that Nikah and Walima are probably the only two parts of a marriage which are clearly shown from sunnah. The rest are part of cultural diversity. I have seen Arabs marry with their traditional songs and dances. Afghans do it their own way (including firing bullets in the sky), Turks do it their own way and Iranians do it their own. None of these dances or rituals form any part of Islam, as these are all culture-based and since marriage is a happy occassion, so people express their happiness in different ways.
I am sure there were arabic cultural traditions for marriage that were followed at the time of our Prophet (Peace be Upon him) as well, including playing daff, singing songs and telling poetry, camel dances and what not.. .but none of these actually form a part of Islamic requirements. These traditions vary from tribe to tribe.
Yes, an argument can be made that all such cultural additions should be completely abolished, but I am not sure if many people are likely to accept such a ruling. Yes, those who abstain from such festivities solely to please (in their view) their Creator I am sure they will be awarded many good deeds, as anything you do with the niyyat (intention) of pleasing your Creator, right or wrong, will be awarded by Allah Ta'llah.
Muslims in Pakistan are in a paradox. Those who are in Punjab and Sindh, have more in common with their Eastern ancestors and neighbors, there is a stigma created in recent times, to suggest that anything which resembles a tradition taken from Indians is automatically wrong, and should be abolished. Those Pakistanis who are in NWFP and Balochistan are more inclined to follow the rituals and customs from our Western neighbors, and since those two are muslims, so there is practically no finger-pointing. Even though both sides have added rituals in a wedding ceremony, which have little to do with Islam, and more to do with culture and life-style.
We just need to use a lot of common sense to determine, which of our actions violate Islam and which do not. Applying mehndi in the hair is a sunnah (to my knowledge). Making it part of wedding festivities may be more cultural than Islamic, but I have a hard time figuring out how can anyone suggest that it violates Islam. Islam is not so fragile to be damaged by someone applying mehndi on their wedding. Infact, Islam is flexible enough to provide principles-based guidance, which is timeless and muslims are able to live and assimilate in many cultures around the world. That is how in the early days of Islam, muslims spread all over the world. They made a mark in their respective adopted communities through honesty, truthfulness and dignity, and not by sticking out like a sore thumb by refusing to respect local customs and traditions.
'tail mehndi' can hardly be called Unislamic. Nikkah and Valima are the most important things for weddings.
Hmm the thing is in Pakistan...a lot of people will hold big weddings and all kinds of other weird stuff- just to 'show and tell' others.Im not saying its true for all of them- but from my experience its true for a lot. And its rather ridiculous.
A simple wedding in the sunah way is best I think.
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*Originally posted by K-2: *
Is 'tail mehndi' unIslamic tradation in Pakistan? Have Pakistanis adapted it from Hindu culture. But cannot we adapt things from other cultures, when those things are OK according to Islamic teachings? Is 'tail mehndi' just a cultural aspect or is there a background which is objectional in Islam.
Brothers here who take their religion Islam seriously, how would their wedding ceremony be like (if they are still unmarried). Because sometimes families of much brothers won't listen to them and would arrangement wedding ceremony with loud music and other unIslamic things. Would such brothers, allow a hired camera-man (a non-mehram) to go into women's portion and video tape their women and bride, while other men won't be allowed to go in there.
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What is "tail mehndi"?
As far as applying mehndi during weddings is concerned, I haven't heard any scholar claiming it to be unIslamic, but what is considered unIslamic by most scholars in Islam is what takes place during the event that is known as "mehndi". The dancing and singing etc
Hmm. Dancing and singing during the wedding is considered hraam by Islamic scholars. So all the Afghans, Chechnyans, Iranians and Arabs that dance and sing during their weddings are ok just pakistanis are not. Does this observation come from a real search for truth or from the conviction that if it remotely comes from India it must be haraam.
I don't think you would get very many Indian muslims agree with you that tail mehndi and dancing and singing during a wedding are haraam. I mean, they have been doing it since the time of Aurangzeb.
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*Originally posted by Arvind: *
Hmm. Dancing and singing during the wedding is considered hraam by Islamic scholars. So all the Afghans, Chechnyans, Iranians and Arabs that dance and sing during their weddings are ok just pakistanis are not. Does this observation come from a real search for truth or from the conviction that if it remotely comes from India it must be haraam.
I don't think you would get very many Indian muslims agree with you that tail mehndi and dancing and singing during a wedding are haraam. I mean, they have been doing it since the time of Aurangzeb.
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Aurangzeb was not a prophet... he might have been a good warrior and leader... so what ever he preached can be questioned.... If Afghan men want to dance and fire-off their guns on weddings that is fine as long as their women are not joining them in this... same goes for other Muslim nations...
Intermingling of sexes for dancing, socializing, etc. is Haram in Islam.. if Muslim wants to have segregated Mehndis that should be ok....
I am not sure if those traditions are unislamic or not, but everyone will agree that they have no roots/tradition in Islamic societies. Tail/mehnid why is it done? What is the significance? What is “maoe” bethna? These are not islamic traditions, but Hindu traditions and rasmorivaj. If some one wants to participate and engage in those activities that is ok, as long as their are no co-ed dances and singing. That I believe is unislamic.
Now, why do I say these activities do not represent spirit of Islam? Here is my humble opinion:
Islam is all about simplcity, piousness, “na maghrori”. No “show sha”. Islamic wedding is simple, Nikah and then Waleema. That is it, nothing else. This is sunnah and the only way Prophet Muhammad’s:saw: weddings were done. If you want to add extra activities, fine just make sure that they dont become so ingrained that people start believing that it is a part of Islam.
Can we say that all other cultural issues which are non-Arab or not in Sunnah are always un-islamic or anti-islamic. Why do people mix-up things. What are the teachings of Islam.
If it is not forbidden its halal **al aslo fi ashyaa e mubaha *. All things are allowed to do unless until they are forbidden to do in Quran and Sunnah. If you see there no any conflict with Quran and Sunnah you can do it. If you think that *'tail mehndi' is not mentioned as forbidden you can do it. But make sure you are not doing Israaf (spending unnecessarily more money, wasting money) or harmful for other people and society.
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*Originally posted by inuit: *
Can we say that all other cultural issues which are non-Arab or not in Sunnah are always un-islamic or anti-islamic. Why do people mix-up things. What are the teachings of Islam.
If it is not forbidden its halal **al aslo fi ashyaa e mubaha *. All things are allowed to do unless until they are forbidden to do in Quran and Sunnah. If you see there no any conflict with Quran and Sunnah you can do it. If you think that *'tail mehndi' is not mentioned as forbidden you can do it. But make sure you are not doing Israaf (spending unnecessarily more money, wasting money) or harmful for other people and society.
What about spending too much money on Walima. ?
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Realistically, there is no hardcore requirement for a marriage, other than nikkah alone. Everything else is just an expansion of a celebration. How you want to expand it is upto you. Mangni, mehndi, mayoon, tel, walima, etc are all non-religious accompaniments, which can be harmless when done properly, and harmful when one goes overboard. This involves individual responsibility, rather than anything else.
When the time came for Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) to go to Ali’s (Radhiallaahu Anhu) house, she was sent without any clamour, hue and cry accompanied Umm Ayman (Radhiallaahu Anhu). After the Aaisha Salaat, the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) went to their house, took permission and entered. He asked for a basin of water, put his blessed hands into it and sprinkled it on both Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu) and Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) and made Dua for them.
The sovereign of both worlds gave his beloved daughter a silver bracelet, two Yemeni sheets, four mattresses, one blanket, one pillow, one cup, one hand-grinding mill, one bedstead, a small water skin and a leather pitcher.
In this simple fashion, the wedding of the daughter of the leader of the worlds was solemnised. In following this Sunnah method, a wedding becomes very simple and easy to fulfill.
SOME METHODS DERIVED FROM THE ABOVEMENTIONED MARRIAGE
The many customs as regards engagement are contrary to the Sunnah. In fact, many are against the Shariah and are regarded sins. A verbal proposal and answer is sufficient.
To unnecessarily delay Nikah of both the boy and the girl after having reached the age of marriage is incorrect.
There is nothing wrong in inviting one’s close associates for the occasion of Nikah. However, no special pains should be taken in gathering the people from far off places.
It is appropriate that the bridegroom be a few years older than the bride.
If the father of the girl is an Aalim or pious and capable of performing Nikah, then he should himself solemnise the marriage.
It is better to give the Mahr Faatimi and one should endeavour to do so. But if one does not have the means then there is nothing wrong in giving less.
It is totally un-Islamic for those, who do not possess the means, to incur debts in order to have grandiose weddings.
It is fallacy to think that one’s respect will be lost if one does not hold an extravagant wedding and invite many people. What is our respect compared to that of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam)?
The present day practice of the intermingling of sexes is an act of sin and totally against Shariah.
There is nothing such as engagement parties and Medhi parties in Islam.
Great care must be taken as regards to Salaat on occasions of marriage by all - the bride, the bridegroom and all the participants.
It is un-Islamic to display the bride on stage.
The unnecessary expenses incurred by the bride’s family in holding a feast has no basis in Shariah.
For the engaged couple to meet at a public gathering where the boy holds the girl’s hand and slips a ring on her finger is a violation of the Qur’anic law of Hijaab.
It is un-Islamic for the engaged couple to meet each other and also go out together.
Three things should be borne in mind when giving one’s daughter gifts and presents at the time of Nikah:
Presents should be given within one’s means (it is not permissible to take loans, on interest for such presents);
To give necessary items;
A show should not be made of whatever is given.
It is Sunnat for the bridegroom’s family to make Walimah.
Note: In Walimah, whatever is easily available should be fed to the people and care should be taken that the is no extravagance, show and that no debts are incurred in the process.
18. To delay Nikah after the engagement is un-Islamic.
SOME CUSTOMS
In aping Western methods sheepishly, Muslims have adopted many customs which are un-Islamic and frowned upon.
Some examples are:
Displaying the bride on stage;
Inviting guests for the wedding from far off places;
Receiving guests in the hall;
The bride’s people incurring unnecessary expenses by holding a feast which has no basis in Shariah. We should remember that Walimah is the feast arranged by the bridegroom after the marriage is consummated.
It is contrary to Sunnah (and the practice of some non-Muslim tribes in India) to wish, hope for or demand presents and gifts for the bridegroom, from the bride’s people. We should always remember that our Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) did not give Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu) anything except Dua.
Moulana M. Saleem Dhorat
Islamic Dawa Academy, England