Re: Understandings and other misunderstandings
I agree with funguy..talking about their funeral arrangement would be better shot at them seeing the real...reality....:)
Re: Understandings and other misunderstandings
Maybe theres a political solution to this whole thing. If you sat down with your daughter and explained about arranged marriage, that you do not plan to arrange her marriage unless she wants you to and that there is a cousin over there who wants to marry her. Keep the conversation light and stress-free or even humorous. Once your daughter says "yuck" or "No Way!" then you have the perfect Islaamic answer for your MIL and SIL. Your daughter refused the proposal, case closed.
Re: Understandings and other misunderstandings
DO NOT get your kids married in family and definately not if they are not willing plssssssssssssssssssssssssss dont make their lives hell coz they are the ones who have to spend their lives together not your MIL so pls dont listen to any one else than your kids :)
Re: Understandings and other misunderstandings
The last time dh was in Pakistan, my SIL was pushing for an engagement date for her son. She seems to think that as soon as my daughter is 16, we can do the nikkah so that her son can come here to study more easily. My other SIL has had her eye on my son for awhile, and wanted to 'formalize the understanding'. My husband said no to both, and then all hell broke loose. Apparently we have ruined everyone's life because SIL #1 and family had her son's future planned out, and we have made our 12 year old niece unmarriageable because "everyone" (except us) knew that we had an understanding. My MIL is having 'heart pains' amd now it's her 'dying wish' to see these marriages take place, which makes my husband feel like an ass. We have said all along when people have asked that our kids will choose their own spouses and that we aren't in favor of cousin marriages, and no one else in the family gets married till their well in their 20s, so we are clueless as to where all this 'understanding' business came from. How blatant does a person have to be? And now how do we sort out this nonsense?
shes putting on dramay dont buy it
Re: Understandings and other misunderstandings
Don t Worry aman Jee....just remember ..iss tarah to hota haii iss taraah kaay kamooh mein ....
Re: Understandings and other misunderstandings
sounds like a pakistani drama 
I believe there are several pakistani generations with major genetic flaws :k:
Re: Understandings and other misunderstandings
amana, i'm sorry the drama you have to face. Thankfully your husbands sounds like he has a sensible head on his shoulders. Like everyone said, don't let someone tell you how to raise your kids.
Lajjo, ab kidhar hai, always beating the arranged marriage drum, what do you think of this? Still think arranged marriages are ALWAYS better and ALWAYS a good idea? Aray oh Lajjo!
Re: Understandings and other misunderstandings
I have been through this, mamo, chacha, phuppo they all had undestanding in their mind about me and my sisters to marry one or the other cousin, though these all were shatered cause of our response. Hell broke out(which is think is good hell, its shame people like you cause of this and hate you if you dont)
for momu daughter, my mom was upset when i said a stern no, they were tring to formalise as in case of your kids when i was about to off to Londres.
So please stick to your ground, they definitely will try again and again until your kids got married, so be ware. and also bear in mind they may also try some usual jadoo vodoo totkay on you, your hubby and your kids. so be warned.
Re: Understandings and other misunderstandings
The last time dh was in Pakistan, my SIL was pushing for an engagement date for her son. She seems to think that as soon as my daughter is 16, we can do the nikkah so that her son can come here to study more easily. My other SIL has had her eye on my son for awhile, and wanted to 'formalize the understanding'. My husband said no to both, and then all hell broke loose. Apparently we have ruined everyone's life because SIL #1 and family had her son's future planned out, and we have made our 12 year old niece unmarriageable because "everyone" (except us) knew that we had an understanding. My MIL is having 'heart pains' amd now it's her 'dying wish' to see these marriages take place, which makes my husband feel like an ass. We have said all along when people have asked that our kids will choose their own spouses and that we aren't in favor of cousin marriages, and no one else in the family gets married till their well in their 20s, so we are clueless as to where all this 'understanding' business came from. How blatant does a person have to be? And now how do we sort out this nonsense?
I dont know if this helps! but u can perhaps tell her/ them that you are simply concerned b/c in many countries ...maybe even the one u are in.... marrying your cousin is against the law, therefore, in those countries the children might be considered b*st*rds, and since the idea (making marriage b/t cousins illegal) is fastly becoming popu;lar the world over u are only concerend about eh wishes of all the children, and hence would not want the grandchildren of said MIL to be considered b*st*rds! ( and some of it is true ;) really...its true ...though dont get me wrong if you are married to your cousin...its not illegal b/c it happened in the past when it was legal and culturally okay..but now culturally its shunned so better not! for your childrens sake!!! they will have a rotten time in the future and thier kids will def. most certainly be ostracized! you should speak with parents of said girl .... they are really hurting the kids with this.
Also arranged marraige of 12 yr olds is violative of international human rights law . it may even be a crime. so maybe u can tell your SIL and MIL - its a crime, and u dont want them enaggaing in something like that, lest authorities find out even inadvertantly b/c word gets around...its a crime..u will all be crimnals...okay i exagerate a bit...but its also partly true.
Re: Understandings and other misunderstandings
Well it looks like we will be dealing with this situation till the kids do get married, to someone, anyone else. We've also heard the "but we have rights over you and your children are our children we want what is best for them".
We're going to try not to become to stressed about it - the situation will still be there in 10 years, and if people want to cut us off over it, so be it. We've travelled down that road before.
ShakKills - They actually tried to do black magic on you and your family? Some people are so shameless!
Re: Understandings and other misunderstandings
Amana stand ur ground. Uve probably had to deal with a lot as it is being a convert but dont allow urself to be manipulated like this. Ppl will get over it....every1 will get married and that will be that. Uve got the right attitude...just stand firm.