Hello all. I just need help understanding Pakistani men. I recently met a Pakistani Christian online. We have been chatting for a few weeks now. He is very intelligent, and very respectful. I enjoy talking to a guy who doesn’t bring up the topic of sex right off the bat. In this few weeks of talking to me, he has already told me he loves me and he wants to marry me. I am an american woman and I just don’t expect this so soon from anyone. In a way, it kind of sent up a red flag, but I am just unsure if this is how men from Pakistan are. He has asked me to send more pictures to show to his parents so they would approve of me. I ask a lot of people about the situation and being the closed minded people that they are, I get responses like: “he just wants to be with you and marry you so he can get a green card, or he is just a terrorist trying to get into the states.” It’s very frustrating how close minded Americans can be. I would not label a whole race as something bad, just because a group of them did something bad. I am a very open minded person and really try to get to know people. I am almost completely oblivious to the Pakistani Christian culture and would just like to know if this guys actions are normal or if I should worry about it. I would very much appreciate any feedback. Thanks so much for your help. Have a great day! =) Oh…I must add, he has said he does not want to get married in the United states nor live here, so please do not say he just wants a green card. Thanks again.
Re: Understanding Pakistani men
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Re: Understanding Pakistani men
My two cents, it's not normal as such. Not because he is pakistani but simply because rarely do people commit so quickly and even more rarely do they stand by such commitment. There's no reason why it shouldn't work out for you, just as there is no reason it should. Approach this with the amount of caution you would generally, paranoia aside. All the best.. More details might warrant better advise though :)
Re: Understanding Pakistani men
It is possible however that he does fancy himself in love with you, perhaps he might be even. But I have known situations where men at a distance can lie about themselves and their families easily because the female cannot find out about them directly and hence has to accept whatever she is told.
Re: Understanding Pakistani men
Thanks so much for your reply Demesne. I agree with you on the situation of dating people at a distance, they can be whoever they want to. Like I said, I was unsure with the Pakistani culture and did not know if the Pakistani men were like this and if it was normal to move so fast. I see that you are located in Lahore, and that is where this man is from, so this advice is of great use to me. Thanks again for your words.
Re: Understanding Pakistani men
I suggest you wait awhile before you get involved further. It's not reality or normal to be in love with someone in just few weeks over the internet. He can be a good person, or he can not - it's 50/50 because you just don't know so I wouldn't take my chances. Get to know him better and see how things go from there.
Pakistani or not, internet is not a safe place
Re: Understanding Pakistani men
^^i agree with that...if at all u choose to proceed ...please proceed with caution
and im sorry i know u dont wanna hear this...his intentions could be pure but statistically speaking such marriages are usually done for immigration purposes ...and the primary way that a someone who doesnt have immigration status makes his/her spouse believe that their intentions are pure is by saying oh i wud like to live and marry in my country...and the spouse thinks oh yeah his intentions are pure...
so just please be careful ...im not saying this guy is like that...but the possibility that he cud be is just as high as the possibility that he isnt
Re: Understanding Pakistani men
You are most welcome. I"ll send u a PM to your inbox about further thoughts I have on the matter
Re: Understanding Pakistani men
Thanks much for your reply.
Re: Understanding Pakistani men
^^i agree with that...if at all u choose to proceed ...please proceed with caution
and im sorry i know u dont wanna hear this...his intentions could be pure but statistically speaking such marriages are usually done for immigration purposes ...and the primary way that a someone who doesnt have immigration status makes his/her spouse believe that their intentions are pure is by saying oh i wud like to live and marry in my country...and the spouse thinks oh yeah his intentions are pure...
so just please be careful ...im not saying this guy is like that...but the possibility that he cud be is just as high as the possibility that he isnt
Thanks much for your reply.