Unasked Questions

[GQ29]

Re: Unasked Questions

@Jasmine_Tea

Not sure if these are uncommon. This is what’s important to me.

• What they are looking for in a partner - and assess if I can provide that
• Religion: I want to understand how they view religion and the role it plays in their life - and then how compatible are our understanding.
• Household chores: general willingness to share
• Their ambitions: This gets tied into career sometimes, but not always. And of course, career plans - just so that I know. Not a criteria. Well, it is a criteria if they won’t be financially stable soon.
• Kids: yes/no. I don’t usually talk about how many. I guess that will come later. But most people stick to the idea of 2, it seems.

I don’t ask direct questions. I make it a conversation, in which there might be some questions to clarify. One of the questions I do ask is what they would do if their kid comes to them and tells them they are gay. A lot of the person’s religious, political and social views become easy to understand that way.

On top of all of this, since my “intellectual type” realization, I have learned that the following are important to assess:

• life experience/overall maturity; ability to make good decisions
  (I have never actually had to watch out for this because I’ve found most people with a certain level of education and a certain upbringing are perfectly capable of making non-dumb decisions - but not all.)
• intellectual curiosity; someone who’s not afraid to think outside the box [THIS wins me over like a charm]

I really like your post, how would you react if your child came over to you and confessed to you that he is gay?