Re: unannounced visits
Subtle isn’t working, Mistral. It’s time to be more direct and you can still do that gently. By “direct,” I mean that you have to let them know that you can’t entertain them so frequently. Rather than tell them “I can’t see you whenever you want” …say, “I have my hands full and can we confine visits to _________?” This forces them to give you a response as opposed to nodding their head, changing the subject, going mute, giving you a blank stare, or pretending that they neither heard nor understood you. So be more direct, but still keep it warm. When your visitors themselves are so “bold” as to invite themselves over whenever they want, then you should be bolder with them as well. Again, keep it friendly…just be more direct and more specific in terms of your schedule…so that leaves little wiggle room for them to take advantage.
Agree with Stoppit. You need to tell your husband (if u haven’t already) about how exhausted you feel and how you’ve almost had accidents on the road and that you don’t want it to take its toll on your marriage and parenting. Ask him to refuse their invitations sometimes. It’s not healthy for these visitors to be spending so much time with you…they need to figure out how to be comfortable with each other and not rely on others to relieve their boredom.