Hi, just got to paki to get engaged after living abroad for past 20 years. Turns out there has been a misunderstanding and guys parents are in the process of getting ready for the wedding … not just engagement. My delima is fine I have family here in Paki but what about all the family and friends that I have grown up with. So here are the options…
Have my nikah done and spend time at his place during the day and come back to my place at night and then when he gets the visa we can get married abroad…(not sure how that works)…
Get married and stay with him and his family for two weeks and then come back and apply for his visa - which could take 3-9months to process.
anyone tell me what they did as guys parents say we want to be part of his happiness and I say yes But i don’t want to get married around a bunch of people I barely know. And what about my friends and family back home.
So all those girlswho went to meat their potential partner to paki spill the beans…
well thats always the kind of situation that ppl living outside of paki have to face..as to whre to get married.. thats the case wid my sister as well..but we have decided that since my sister is the bride..she should get married where she lives..and the groom and/or his family should come to the brides place for the ceremony!
just decide quickly and let the groom's side know .. so they can decide/plan too!
ahh yea this is unfortunately a rather common problem and theres no easy solution
you could have the nikkah or rukhsati there and then have a valima in the us
i think the best possible solution is a compromise--- that means splitting the festivities 50/50 b/t the two countries
hope everything turns out well iA
Why not have the entire wedding in pak, but have an additional mehndi over here before you go for your friends and when your hubby eventually gets to the US you can have a wedding reception/welcoming party.
i was in the exact same situation....here is what i did:
i had a nikkah party here in canada with all my family and friends (this included a mehndi too)
had my actually shadi (mehndi, rukhsati, and valima) in pakistan (my hubby was the only child, and since his parents couldnt come to canada, me, my parents and my siblings, some uncles went to pakistan for my wedding)
then we came back to canada after 1 month
then for my first anniversary, my mom threw this big party for us here in canada
some notes:
- i have half my family here in canada and half in pak
- i would have loved my wedding to be here in canada (with the pple that i grew up with)...but im also glad my dadke (who are in pak) were at my wedding
Are you in UK or USA?
I had the exact problem. Most of my family was here in US and I didnt want to get married in pakistan. So i ended up having my engagment in pakistan with his family and then once he recieved the fiance visa he came and i had my wedding here in US.
On point was fiance visa is a lot quicker then spouse one so I didnt wanna wait for 9 months to a year to get my husband over here....
Good Luck!
2) Get married and stay with him and his family for two weeks and then come back and apply for his visa - which could take 3-9months to process. Wen he gets here do a wedding party.
since theyre planning a wedding you have a few options. Get your Nikkah done, cme back to your country, apply for his papers.. and when he is able to come down to where u are have your rukhsati. Or get married (Nikkah, rukhsati, valima).. come back apply for his papers and then when he gets here have a huge reception with friends family and whoever u want from here to attend.. that way you wont be juggling people from pakistan at the same time. Have the wedding there since your already there and usually going back and forth in a yrs time gets hectic and expensive. Money wise you'll save aswell as you can do the whole wedding now..
Whatever you decide GOOD LUCK!!
hello i had the same problem...what i did was have an engagement there...came here did the wedding w. ruksat, reception, mehndi, and hten a few months later did valima in pakistan. i dont know if u can go back and forth like that but keep in mind fiance visa is way quicker...my fiance came w.in 7 months.....husband/wife i hear takes up to 3 yrs sometimes! or if u do the ruksat and nikkah there (dont tell anyone!!! cuz u want him to get here quicker) good luck.
Salam
same prb here..
I dont know abt Uk, but here in Norway it works like this: u need a spesific amount of money in your account and u need to show Ur property paper.
It takes from 2-9 mounths.
What Im gonna do is since im finished with my studies I will stay in Pak for 3-4 mounhts after wedding, then Im gonna come back to Norway and apply for visa and then go back to pak. When the visa is Ok Im gonna take him with me....
No way Im gonna be soooo far away from my hubby just after marrige(hahaha)