I don't understand why some guys want to keep their wives not with them but with their parents. I mean whyy??? She is getting married to you not to your mother. You are supposed to keep her with you. And sad part is you cant reason with such cheap mentality folks. They think its obligatory for a wife to spend rest of her life in saasu maa ke charan while that husband in the name of being in pardes for earning money rang raliya manao with random chicks. I am not even talking about those who can't afford but those who can but still such typical thought process. woh kehte he na paisa a jane se aqal nahi aa jaaty... I don't know when this thought process will change. WHy they do it if they cant live like a couple? To get a maid for their parents while they do all sorts of ayashiya but still play this guilt card back home?
Who is more evil, the not so innocent husband enjoying life with side chicks abroad or the mother-in-law who is okay with her son living away from his wife and kids who have to live with her instead for no good reason?
Biwi kis ki hai tu!
This is something which should be discussed before getting married.
Both are at fault. Some mothers are really good at emotional blackmailing their sons.
It is definitely something that needs to be discussed before marriage. If it was discussed and both parties agreed to it then it is fine. Taking care of elderly parents may not be the only reason, there can be some unforeseen circumstances that may also lead to such an arrangement after marriage.
For example, in the US it is common for a foreign worker to live 10+ years before getting permanent residence status, that too if everything goes fine. For certain foreign workers, that duration is 20+ years. And under the current political climate, the duration of uncertainty is only getting longer and riskier. I have friends who kept their families in Pakistan, made investments in Pakistan and when on one fine day they lost their job, hence visa and had to depart within 24 hrs. They went back to Pakistan right away. By that time, they had property there, had family there who didn’t have to be uprooted and huge savings. On the other hand, I have friends who kept their family with them, and made all investments in the US. When they lost their jobs, their world was literally turned upside down. They too had to move back to Pakistan, but with an uprooted family, socially and academically unfit children, no property, and no savings.
It is about how one family wants to hedge their bets, and how much risk they are willing to take. Although it is hell of a job for a woman to raise children on her own but with some help from extended family back home and good regular income from abroad, it works out for many.