typical desi problem !! solutions ?

[ll_xx_ll]

Re: typical desi problem !! solutions ?

hats off!!!

i honestly thing you have come up with the most reasonable approach

love does indeed conquer all …this is what this family needs…building of loving bonds to make strong relationships

Thank you for this post princess

@Princess121

Your post is incredibly biased. You have to realise your bhabi is a human being too.. Seeing her as some kind of evil monster is really not going to help the situation. The more you feel that way, the more she will subconciously pick up on it from your behaviour, the more she’ll feel distant from you and the other in laws. She’s here on her own whilst there’s three SILs and a MIL. I hope you can appreciate that this can easily become a ‘me’ vs ‘them’ situation.

I’m not saying that the way she’s acting is right, I’m just saying you have to approach it differently. Try to empathise with her: she’s just started married life and is trying to enjoy it the best she can. To you it may appear lazy, but you have to put that to one side if you want to resolve the situation. Try to focus yourself on some positive aspects of her personality and once you’ve made your approach a little more neutral I would suggest befriending her. Make her feel comfortable and welcome rather than as a stranger to the household. Then once you’re more friendly with each other you can casually ask her to do a little job like iron a suit or wash a couple of dishes. If you act as a coompanion to her, I don’t see why she’ll refuse. Then praise her for it in a kind but not too over the top way. Always make her feel like her presence is a blessing in the household and I’d suggest you advise your mother to act in the same way.

The thing is, if you approach her or your brother saying she isn’t fulfilling her duties/ isn’t caring for your mother etc etc it will automatically make her defensive and if anything, will make her feel even more distant from you guys. You have to win her over with kindness and love. If you like, you can suggest hiring a maid to help everyone out to diffuse the situation.

I hope you don’t take offense but I very strongly disagree with the approach that you’ve taken against your bhabi. Regarless of whether they move to the top portion, or to another house: The most important thing here is not who completes the housework but whether there is love and peace in the family. This will require you being very wise in the way you handle the situation and a lot of patience on your behalf. I really hope you understand what I’m trying to say and implement it to stop this becoming a typical inlaws vs bahu battle.

All the best