When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi
**By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. **
Socrates
**Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. **
Dumas
**The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, "What does a woman want? **
Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous
**“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.” **
Henry Youngman
“I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.”
Sam Kinison
**“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.” **
James Holt McGavran
**“I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.” **Patrick Murray
**Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you’re right, shut up. **
Nash
**The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once… **
Anonymous
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
Milton Berle
**Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy. **
Anonymous
**A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.” **
Anonymous
First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!” Second Guy “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”
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