Twilight-type Issue

Lifestyle Relationships
1

3 People. Me, Chick, Her dude. She loves that guy and has sacrificed ALOT for him, but their families are opposed to their marriage. I feel really strong for her, and I’ve told her that. She didn’t say no, just got really bummed out, because she didn’t want to ‘hurt me’. We go out for food/study sessions etc. even after I told her that. People tell me I’m doing a really wrong thing by trying to be with her when she’s in love with some other guy. Is that right? I mean, I really really really want to spend my life with her. This is a summary of some major-drama btw. Should I keep my fingers crossed that it doesn’t work out between her and that dude or should I try to move on?

2

Re: Twilight-type Issue

So you're the werewolf? Well, he's just a sidekick so you should move on.

3

Re: Twilight-type Issue

does she glitter in the sunlight?

4

Re: Twilight-type Issue

Hire an assassin. :bummer:

5

Re: Twilight-type Issue

Are you rockin' the abs?

6

Re: Twilight-type Issue

The werewolf gets with her daughter though, so should I wait for her to have a daughter and hit it up with her?

7

Re: Twilight-type Issue

Just don’t got to the Volturi. They’re mean. And seriously need a tan and some Visine

8

Re: Twilight-type Issue

Dude you are the other man. Back off. Let her breath. Move if she is single. If she ain't there are plenty of other fish in the sea.

9

Re: Twilight-type Issue

Why does she still go out with me then? :S Is she like playing around or what?

10

Re: Twilight-type Issue

Women like attention. Just like your average human being. She likes it that you are interested in her and you are the second option. You are the back up. Do you really want to be anybody's back up? Let me guess you pick her up. You pay for stuff. You basically are the boyfriend but not getting any correct?

11

Re: Twilight-type Issue

in desi accent Wat is this "any" you speak of?

12

Re: Twilight-type Issue

Yeah :O That's spot-on. Except for the paying thing. She always wants to pay. So I should cut off contact with her?

13

Re: Twilight-type Issue

Daal chawal.

She always wants to pay but she doesn't. Its a fake thing. Those who pay will pay. Those who wanna go dutch will do so. If people really wanna do something they will.

Cut off contact would be bad for you, because you will think about her constantly, want to call her and all that stuff. What you do is slowly distance yourself from her over a long period of time. It is a healthy manner in which you control your emotions and self-worth.

I would suggest the following, but again its only a suggestion. Your regular activities, if you pick her up for a study session, I suggest once every two or three study sessions tell her you will meet her there instead of picking her up. Basically I am assuming you are at her beck and call. Assert some independence.

Also a trick from the Manual for Manly Men is to treat her like a friend you must be harsh. Discuss other girls with her. While you have not moved on the notion when acted out will reinforce itself into reality. Also it shows a level of independence on your end, that you are in fact not pining after her.

14

Re: Twilight-type Issue

million dollar question. I have been in the exact same boat as you..I don't think she is playing around. But at the same time, it is better to keep your expectations low in your case. Make sure, you have your own life going on and everything in your life is not about her. keep her as a 'part' of your life especially if she is a good friend.

I disagree that she thinks you are her back-up. Not everyone thinks like that; some people are genuinely just friends and want to be good to everyone in their lives. It is totally possible, she likes your company and sharing things with you - does not mean she thinks you are her back-up.

Just make sure you have your own life and things going on for you.

15

Re: Twilight-type Issue

Yes, you should try and distance yourself if you can. More than likely, she'll come running to you then if things are really that difficult b/w her and the other guy.

Well played good sir. :D

16

Re: Twilight-type Issue

Women like, want, and crave attention more than your average human being (i.e. men). Much more. And get it of course. And like it even more. That's how & why most of the guys in their circle are oh-so-sweet. But all that is besides the point.

To the OP: You really don't want to be the backup guy. Women normally like to keep their options open and specifically designate, in their minds, a backup option (or two), should the first one not work out for them.

Even if you get her finally, you will always be the 2nd choice, the backup, and possibly a doormat. So, you really don't want to be in this situation. Move away from her. May be she will follow you then if she feels strongly about you.

17

Re: Twilight-type Issue

I did try moving away from her, she'd just end up spamming me with texts "What's wrong", "Why aren't you replying" etc. Whenever her bf is online though or something her entire persona changes. I think the best idea would be to distance myself. Thanks for the help guys.

18

Re: Twilight-type Issue

Bingo. You are the back up. Firstly I suggest you find "that friend". Everybody has "that" friend, who is good with women to the extent that he is a womanizer. He is your best source of support and information. When you distance yourself, she doesn't like the lack of attention, so she reels you back in like a fisherman catching a fish. In those cases you need some will power and control. You need to assert your independence by avoiding her essentially. That is where your womanizing friend comes into play. He is the one that keeps you busy and away from your home.

The best way to get over your current love life is to start a new one.

19

Re: Twilight-type Issue

Lol, thanks alot for the help.

20

Re: Twilight-type Issue

As a third wheel...you cannot expect happiness to come out of this relationship. Sorry, but anything built on someone else's tears is doomed from the beginning. :(