how i can start trusting my husband again. I blindly trusted him until he talked to this cousin who liked him without telling me. I felt really hurt by that and like he betrayed my trust. Now I am paranoid about him liking and talking with other girls that it drives me crazy. I was soooo cool before, but now whenever I am out, my eyes are on his eyes to see if he looks at girls as they pass by. he wants to work and i am scared what if he meets some one outside and starts liking them.
I know this is unreasonable, but I cant make my mind think otherwise. I know i have trust issues and I need help on how i can start to trust him again. Its driving me crazy. I want to think that his eyes are only for me and whenever they wander it feels like a piercing pain in my heart.. how to fix myself?? how do i deal with him out in the workplace surrounded by pretty girls??
Re: trusting husband
just make sure he doesn't own iphone. Iphone owners have the most sex partners. Girls are giving up so easy, all it takes is an iphone.
Re: trusting husband
Even if you don't bring up your insecurities with your husband......it can reflect in your body language and attitude. And people pick up on these things. Insecurity is generally a turn off to both genders. It can be a real relationship killer. You have to ask yourself if your insecurity is mainly the result of him talking to his cousin.........OR........if you have always felt this way even before marriage? IF you've always struggled with this....then you should reflect upon what's causing this.
Attractive girls can be found everywhere. Even in your own home on the TV. Will you shut the TV off? What if you have a daavat at your home and an attractive woman shows up? Then what? Or perhaps you have to attend an event (dinner, party, wedding) where there may be many women......what would you do? Not step outside the house? Sad Fact of Life: There will always be someone more prettier...more smarter...more talented than you. And even those people are far from perfect. What makes you unique as an individual? Focus on those qualities. Your husband was not forced to marry you. He WANTED to marry you......not his cousin......YOU! He CHOSE to spend the rest of his life with you and that's a huge decision to undertake. If he wanted......he could have waited to see if he can find a prettier/better girl to marry. But he wasn't interested in doing that. To him...you were the one. You were the prize.......so act like it.
Looking at a women (even by accident) doens't mean he's going to divorce you and marry her. And sometimes a glance can be inadvertent. Marriage does not mean that a person will stop finding others attractive. You are married, but I'm sure you still find other guys (actors, even random strangers) attractive. You might even acknowledge secretly to yourself that another guy is better looking than your husband. It's natural. But does that mean you'd leave him for the other guy? No, it doesn't.
I once heard/read a story of a guy who worked at the same place/office as his wife...and he cheated on her. I'm not telling you this to scare you. But to hopefully help you realize that......you can be near your husband and watch him like a hawk.....you could even be under the same roof as him......but if he wants to cheat......he'll find a way to do so. He's an adult......not a child.........so you can't control him. He'll do what he wants to do. IF he cheated......you wouldn't want to be with him anyway. It's also no fun to interact with someone whose every move you feel you have to monitor. You can't really have a "relationship" with someone you have to watch so closely......the dynamics and interactions become more tense and uptight........they lose that ease/comfort/fluidity/charm. If anything....such a tense/insecure attitude is likely to drive your spouse away from you and more toward women who are more relaxed and confident. So this vigilance that you think might be helping...is hurting you. Is watching him like a hawk going to prove his faithfulness to you? It isn't. Having trust requires "letting go". And when you do that.....you do risk heartache. BUT...............sometimes if you don't let go of something....you won't know if what you have is worth holding on to...if that makes sense.
You're so worried about "WHAT IF" he cheats. You're worried about what your husband will do in the future.....and when he's away from you. And you could be using that time more constructively. Instead of fearing the future you could focus on the present....and how to strengthen your relationship when you're with him.
Re: trusting husband
***Start looking at other men and commenting on how attractive they are .......that should keep him paranoid about u not finding him attractive and too preoccupied with proving himself to you to have time to notice other girls :D
Re: trusting husband
Even if you don't bring up your insecurities with your husband......it can reflect in your body language and attitude. And people pick up on these things. Insecurity is generally a turn off to both genders. It can be a real relationship killer. You have to ask yourself if your insecurity is mainly the result of him talking to his cousin.........OR........if you have always felt this way even before marriage? IF you've always struggled with this....then you should reflect upon what's causing this.
Attractive girls can be found everywhere. Even in your own home on the TV. Will you shut the TV off? What if you have a daavat at your home and an attractive woman shows up? Then what? Or perhaps you have to attend an event (dinner, party, wedding) where there may be many women......what would you do? Not step outside the house? Sad Fact of Life: There will always be someone more prettier...more smarter...more talented than you. And even those people are far from perfect. What makes you unique as an individual? Focus on those qualities. Your husband was not forced to marry you. He WANTED to marry you......not his cousin......YOU! He CHOSE to spend the rest of his life with you and that's a huge decision to undertake. If he wanted......he could have waited to see if he can find a prettier/better girl to marry. But he wasn't interested in doing that. To him...you were the one. You were the prize.......so act like it.
Looking at a women (even by accident) doens't mean he's going to divorce you and marry her. And sometimes a glance can be inadvertent. Marriage does not mean that a person will stop finding others attractive. You are married, but I'm sure you still find other guys (actors, even random strangers) attractive. You might even acknowledge secretly to yourself that another guy is better looking than your husband. It's natural. But does that mean you'd leave him for the other guy? No, it doesn't.
I once heard/read a story of a guy who worked at the same place/office as his wife...and he cheated on her. I'm not telling you this to scare you. But to hopefully help you realize that......you can be near your husband and watch him like a hawk.....you could even be under the same roof as him......but if he wants to cheat......he'll find a way to do so. He's an adult......not a child.........so you can't control him. He'll do what he wants to do. IF he cheated......you wouldn't want to be with him anyway. It's also no fun to interact with someone whose every move you feel you have to monitor. You can't really have a "relationship" with someone you have to watch so closely......the dynamics and interactions become more tense and uptight........they lose that ease/comfort/fluidity/charm. If anything....such a tense/insecure attitude is likely to drive your spouse away from you and more toward women who are more relaxed and confident. So this vigilance that you think might be helping...is hurting you. Is watching him like a hawk going to prove his faithfulness to you? It isn't. Having trust requires "letting go". And when you do that.....you do risk heartache. BUT...............sometimes if you don't let go of something....you won't know if what you have is worth holding on to...if that makes sense.
You're so worried about "WHAT IF" he cheats. You're worried about what your husband will do in the future.....and when he's away from you. And you could be using that time more constructively. Instead of fearing the future you could focus on the present....and how to strengthen your relationship when you're with him.
Excellent analysis! :)
Re: trusting husband
u seems to be very naughty 
goga: i cant suggest anything for u as i m too shaki kinda girl 
Re: trusting husband
U got to admit I give awesome advice 
Re: trusting husband
I had the same problem once upon a time. I had told my fiance (then boyfriend) to stay away from a female friend of his who used to flirt with him right in my face. Apparently her parents had even asked for their rishta but he had refused because he already had a gf aka me. I had blocked/deleted her from all his online accounts and I had deleted her numbers from his phone but apparently he was still taking her calls and it really really hurt me when I found out. He was right in his place because he couldn't just tell her that he was ending his friendship with her because his gf didn't like her. He didn't tell me about her calls because he knew how pissed I would get. He never went out of his way to contact her but he didn't ignore her either. I started to have trust issues with him at that point. I always used to wonder k aur kitni larkiyon say mujhay bataye baghair batain kartay hai but he helped me get over my paranoia by always telling me everything and just always reassuring me how much he loved me and always paying special attention to me whenever we went out together. Slowly I have started to trust him completely again and I am so very cool again.
I think you should communicate your fears to your husband and you two should work on building this trust again. I am sure if he loves you he will help you come through this :)
Re: trusting husband
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Re: trusting husband
Jazakallah to those who gave advice.. i really need to work on my trusting issues. i never was the "shakki" type and hated it.. but now i am stuck in this mindset. it really is torturing. :(