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I get up at 6 a.m., no matter what time it is.
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Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
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One woman’s hobby is another woman’s hubby.
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The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of a new car.
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It’s what people don’t know about each other that makes them such good friends.
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After all is said and done - where do the people in hell tell one another to go ?
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If you can’t get a lawyer who knows the law, get one who knows the judge.
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I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
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Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
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Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
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Do not marry a person that you know that you can live with; only marry someone that you cannot live without.
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If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
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The 4 food groups: Fast, frozen, instant and microwaved.
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Problems are the Price you pay for your progress.
Dreams won’t come true if you only want them to, but they will when you know they can.