Hey everyone! This is my first official post.. Been a reader on the forum for a while now and just recently registered as a member
So! For my debut post I would very much like to know wether any of you guys, whos been born and raised outside of Pakistan have found their ātrue loveāā¦ partner, bf/gf, spouse in Pakistan? How did it happen? How has it been so far? What is the best thing about your other half and yourself? What is the hardest part?
Iāve known my guy for about 5 years now - so we arent strangers.. But for me personally it wasnt anything more than friendship until about 1 n a half month ago.. He on the other hand has been interested since way back.. Just waited for the right moment as he says lol <3
so youāve been with him for 5 yrs and itās not just an online or long distance relationship right? Youāre actually physically around each other? hopefullyā¦
since youāre in love with each other now after being friends for so long, what does it feel like when youāre around him?
as long as youāre compatible, have loads of things in common, are honest with each other, are flexible/open with each other, and thereās financial security i donāt think where both of you grew up matters.
Iām from London and my other half is from Pakistan. Heās moved here now and weāre pretty much quite happy. Obv thereās gonna be some cultural differences but otherwise weāre pretty much the same. Itās been pretty good so far, obv thereās been a few bumps along the way with families being worried about compatilbility etc but weāre pretty happy! Inshallah thereāll be a wedding for us next year, now that weāve been together aboyt 3 and half years!
We can find true love anywhere. Why do you think finding true love in Pakistan is something strange? If you both like and understand each other, are able to make major changes in your life because of each other (this includes one of you moving to another country), and both sets of parents approve your marriage, go ahead with marrying the person even if he lives in Pakistan. But before making the final decision, try to discuss all the issues involved and reach a consensus.
Nisha25: Well its been half and half.. Since i live in the UK and he in Pakistan our interaction with eachother was pretty much online.. But we werenāt close friends at all untill 2 months ago when i got hereā¦ After Iāve been hanging out with him IRL.. It was only hereafter that I started getting feeling for him.. Iāve known for some time that heās been into me but for me it was just friendship.. Until about a month and a half ago.. Being that heās still family (not my cousin though.. far out..) and that weāre still only 20 weāre keeping it low key untill the time is right and he talks to his parents and they come to my parents for rishta..
I honestly feel like I can be myself with him, and Iāve noticed that iām opening up more and more, and just being myself.. (Like.. I dont feel like I have to be made up like a doll or anything just to see him lol.. Cause he says i dont need to do all that stuff.. Bottom line.. he likes me for who I am.. Its up to me what i doā¦) Iām all smiles whenever hes here, and damn.. talk about butterflies lol! I feel like we know eachother so well already and that kind of scared me too.. I trust him completely, but iām still not going all out yet.. For me it has to be official - as in our parents are in on it and happy with it.. Weāre both from alhamdulillah good families, and financially iām not worried.. Both for myself and for him..
Waleedhbk: Yup.. He lives in Islamabad and I live back home in the UK.. Iām only here for a year.. studying before Iām starting uni back home..
The thing that has been worrying me a little is our future. I want to live back home, but he says we have to live in pak for sometime first.. Untill he gets enough work experience and all.. He asked me the other day if I would go anywhere with him, and I said i would go where ever he was. And I do. I just canāt help feeling like Iām giving something up.. Cause this is where iām coming fromā¦ All my life iāve been thinking that I would marry and we would settle down in the UK.. Didnt really consider that i might fall for a guy in Pak who didnt wanna come home with me right away.. Am I being too selfish? I know he has everything here too.. His life, family, friends.. everything.. And maybe Iām just overthinking things? I mean.. He did say that we wont be settleing here in Pak.. I dont know why.. For reason I just cantā¦ Help! I made a pros and con list.. And this was seriously the only thing on the con sideā¦ I need some advise pleaseā¦
Mad Hatter: Thanks for sharing Yea I know.. Its not all going to be a piece of cake.. But i guess if the two involved are true and honest with each other and can talk about whatever issue that might occour itāll be fine.. Inshallah! So happy for you guys
**Ashy2010: **Your right.. Yea.. Its those major changes iām thinking about.. Wrote about them in the post above.. I was thinking the same.. Iād rather we discuss these things sooner than later.. Its not that I find it strange to find true love in Pakistan.. Its just that this whole situation just came out of the blue - I wasnāt expecting to find love yet at all.. Lekin kya kehte hai.. Allah ki marzi.. Everything happens for a reason i guess.. And itās not that iām not thankful.. Cause i am Heās a dream of a guy without living in a dream world.. The other day when I freaked out about out future living situation he just handled it so well.. He was the calm one, the one who wanted me to tell him whatever i was thinking instead of just getting mad and be impossible to talk to.. Alhamdulliah!
My advice would be that youāre so young right now - only 20! Use this period to get to know each other better. Also, I would say finish Uni before making any major decisions like marriage. And if you still feel the way that you do now then go for it! I remember when I was 16 / 18 / 20, I used to think I knew everything. But the older I grow I see thereās always so much more to know than you think there is. Esp with you gorwing up there and him there, plus your relationship being so newā¦I would give it lots of time. Good luck!
conditions like this always concern me because from what Iāve seen, itās REALLY hard to pick up everything and leave like that once youāre married. And Pakistan is REALLLLLLLLLLLLLY different. Itās a HUGE adjustment for my friend who just moved there and she was only in the states for 6 or 7 years total. Even then, she couldnāt handle the politics that everyone engages in, the restrictions, etc. Her husband who seemed very understanding, suddenlyā¦wasnāt.
Iām not much older than you, but this is really true. Looking back at my life, Iāve gone through periods where I never wanted to get married, found some guy in Pak that I was smitten with and was SURE I wanted to move to Pakistan, then realized I love the middle east and wanted to settle there (and hopefully find some Arab guy teehee ) and now Iām at a point where I want to find someone preferably in the same state but in the US for sureā¦your goals, your outlook, your career aspirations, how many kids you want, WHEN you want them, and most importantly WHAT YOU WANT IN A GUY will change for a while as you continue to āfindā yourself. If you think youāre missing something, take heed. Youre young, you still got plenty of time to find the person thatāll fit all that.
Yes. Iāve seen problms both on this forum and in real life of people. Boys from Pak make for vry diff husbands than the guys here (a generalization, I know). Itās hard if youāre raised in a different environment so be careful
Hi everyone! Thanks so much for the replies, your advise and best of lucks.. I truly appreciate it.. Status right now is that Iām taking one day at a time, and without any rush weāre getting to know each other more and more.. And for now I love it. He makes me happy, and I can see us together in the future. I feel lucky Alhamdulillah. About staying in Pakistan.. It wont be permanant, cause we talked about it and I told him how i feel.. He said weāre aiming for living abroud InshAllah But as I said.. Jo Allah ki marzi.. Jo bhi ho ga us mein koi na koi behtari ho gi beshak. Please just keep us in your prayers.. InshAllah Allah has his hand over us, and will guide us and make us succesful in whatever we do. No one said love what easy.. I think as long as we are both clear on that, clear on our love, each other and our family everything will be fine..
Again.. Thanks so much to everyone who wrote back.. I thought about every single post.. Thank u!
lol <3
Help! I made a pros and con list.. And this was seriously the only thing on the con sideā¦ I need some advise pleaseā¦
Yea I know.. Its not all going to be a piece of cake.. But i guess if the two involved are true and honest with each other and can talk about whatever issue that might occour itāll be fine.. Inshallah! So happy for you guys 
) and now Iām at a point where I want to find someone preferably in the same state but in the US for sureā¦your goals, your outlook, your career aspirations, how many kids you want, WHEN you want them, and most importantly WHAT YOU WANT IN A GUY will change for a while as you continue to āfindā yourself. If you think youāre missing something, take heed. Youre young, you still got plenty of time to find the person thatāll fit all that.