I am sorry there is no solution I could suggest, as an eldest son I have faced this long before.
Actually MOL start getting feel threatened that DIL would steal her son, my was purely arrange marrige chosen by my parents yet I faced this, my wife suffered for 7 years, as trying to be good son do not want to confront my mum.
The matter only resolved when I found a business opportunity oversea and moved out with my family. Once we out of picture and my brothers marriges so mom had more DILs at home then she started to appreciate my wife. And they never have any problem afterward.
thankyou all for your advise. i am just going to have to be straight forward with my in laws without being "badtameez"
Please pray that everything works out INHSLLAH and i can live a peacefull life with my husband.
and i dont mind the negative comments.. i know its hard to imagine someone would actually make up medical conditions to ruin your life, or postpone your nikkah.. but hunny, this is reality. this is what us girls have to deal with in life :/
Tell them your amma is moving in with them too, because like him, he cannot leave his mom and neither should you. You can live like how the family in Charlie and Chocolate Factory lives. In fact, show them that scene with the two grandpas and grandmas all lying in the same bed and let them know that is how you'll house all of them once they get dementia and they can't fight back.
and i dont mind the negative comments..** i know its hard to imagine someone would actually make up medical conditions to ruin your life, or postpone your nikkah.. **but hunny, this is reality. this is what us girls have to deal with in life :/
I know plenty of elders who exaggerate their health problems (diabetes, high bp, even a few who pretend they're getting depression) to emotionally blackmail and try and get their way.. inc in my own family..
I know plenty of elders who exaggerate their health problems (diabetes, high bp, even a few who pretend they're getting depression) to emotionally blackmail and try and get their way.. inc in my own family..
and you still want to take the chance and get married to him?? its like knowing your getting burned someday and your still letting someone pour oil over you..
if you want my sincere advice.. please please please do istekhara.. or ask an elderly in your family to do it.. because if they aren't letting you take a breather now, what do you think they will do later on??
I say stand up for your love and try to work this out the best you can. Stay with him. There will be drama in any marriage you go into. Atleast here you actually love the man!And yes, elders make up illnesses, including some very close to me. No, its not filmi. Its real life. I feel sorry for the women who marry men who dismiss these incidents as their wives/ fiancée's imagination.
Don't forget " ^ “And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. (23) And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: “My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.” Al-Quran [Chapter-17; Verses-23&24].
Sad. I think the ideally the beginning stage of a marriage (though challening as you're adjusting to one another) should be a memorable and beautiful time....and that's like sorta "robbed" from you because of your in-law's or your own..or both parties' insecurities. Shame.
@ PakiBride](http://www.paklinks.com/gs/members/pakibride.html),
but ever since we got engaged they have changed completely… they do things to hurt me, and treat me as if i dont even exist???
the parents of ur love dont want to loose their son…as he is in love with u… its a “KHANCHA TANI” between parents and bride. may b rite now ur love says he can afford a separate accomodation but when ever he has little feelings abt his parents he will run towards them… u have very high expectations… u r going to marry him and the parents of ur love are afraid that might their son forget them and start neglecting them… just think if in future he return to their parents what wll be for …do u think that its will serve any purpose… advise for u to decrease ur expectations and be courageous and let ur love be a good son and responsible husband.. u have to give and take…
If you're not comfortable living with your in-laws, discuss that up front. The issue may need some convincing, as it usually does in our culture, but you should ultimately go with your gut. You both deserve to be happy, and especially the first few years of marriage should be focused around you two! That being said, be sensitive to his needs for staying with his parents, perhaps you could live closer so he can still see them often.