Trip to Pakistan

Lifestyle Relationships
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1

So, half of my (immediate) inlaws are here in the US, the other half, in Pakistan. The ones here haven’t visited in some time and want to go to next year by Eid to visit. My husband wants to go too.

The problem is, i haven’t been in over 15 years cuz I have no one there besides extended family who I have no contact with. The other problem is, I am extremely worried about safety and whatnot, getting sick and possibly being pregnant (who knows, its a possibility) at that time. All of which my husband thinks is no big deal.

My husband’s argument also is that since the entire family is going, it would be better since we won’t be alone at all, and we should go because “everyone will go”. When I pointed out that my bhabi might not go because by that time she will have a toddler and a baby on hand as well. He got quiet then. Cuz then that means if bhabi doesn’t go, I might not have to. That makes no sense.

What do I do? I want to go, and visit the family, making it a grand family reunion along with me being the newest member of the family (been married a year) and shop etc.. Yet Im scared too

2

Re: Trip to Pakistan

Don't make it so complicated or overthink it. Just go! I mean if you're not bound by work or school or pregnancy, and it seems like you want to--just GO.

Your husband thinks it's no big deal, because he probably has stronger ties to the place and/or realizes that no who knows what will be in a years time. No matter where you go, there's always a risk of safety and getting sick, so take precautions and leave it to Allah.

The whole "if bhabi doesn't go = you don't go"....it's probably because if she's the only other bahu, everyone else is an immediate family member going, not an outsider. I know it seems weird, and bla bla but...ok i don't know. Ask him why he thinks that?

If you have a normal, and not toxic/abusive relationship with in laws, then it is better to go with a group than go alone. And if you do get pregnant around that time, then just deal with it then.

3

Re: Trip to Pakistan

Has bhabhi taken a trip to Pakistan before? If she has then she's been introduced to the relatives. This trip is meant for your introduction. You're the new family member. I think it's best to go now when you don't have extra baggage of kids and pregnancy. Later on you can bow out for the same reasons the bhabhi has. Besides it's too hot to be chilling outside the house without ACs. You'll probably be visiting random relatives and not spending too much time outside.

4

Re: Trip to Pakistan

bhabi is a cousin, so shes been related since birth. and, she hasnt been to pakistan since she moved to the US, which was many many years ago.

we arent planning to go for another year or so, but i have to think about it NOW cuz we would have to save up money etc, plan to take off work, and other things.

5

Re: Trip to Pakistan

Why don't you take the necessary steps to start planning to go? If everyone puts off things because of ifs and maybes no one would ever do anything. Plans can always be changed.

6

Re: Trip to Pakistan

Cant u get pregnant now too?

7

Re: Trip to Pakistan

Don't get prego - eat some eggos. Ok I'll leave.