First of all I apologise, this is going to be a rather long post lol! Basically, I am an orphan and an only child. I received a lot of love from my parents, and if I am a better person for it today, it is because of them. My mom died when I was very young. My parents were well off and my mother put all that into gold etc, therefore, left me some inheritance. On the day of her funeral, this inheritance was stolen, this inheritance included some heirlooms my grandma left me. We know who it was, and we know how they did it. The police refused to get involved as there was no will, etc. Now further on, well I would say 10 years later from my mothers death. I got married, it was a love marriage. I am extremely happy. But I was also sad, I literally have nothing of my mom or my grandmas (gold, heirlooms or clothes), and could not afford to buy anything extravagant, damn economy! No one from my moms side came, and as for my dads side only one person. I do not get on with both sides, because they used me for the money I had, and literally turned against me because I wasn’t up for family politics. I also saw that those cousins who had parents, could act like complete jerks, if I would do the same, (which I did not) the parents would scold me ten times worse and ask their kids not to speak to me. One particular aunt, has done exactly this. She really dislikes me even though we haven’t spoken in 6 years! I mean seriously woman, if we don’t speak and don’t meet, what gives you the right to judge me when you do not know me? Anyway, I am planning on going to Pakistan soon with my in laws and visiting the city where my parents are from… I was so excited at first of meeting all those relatives who I have not seen, then it began to dawn on me that for the past decade, these relatives never tried to contact me, some stole from me, and some supported those who stole from me. *Mind you, im supposed to be staying the house of the family who stole from me! I did say I have forgiven them, but my zest for meeting relatives has gone so low… I do not know what to do.
Re: Trip to pakistan soon,
Your tongue has forgiven them, deep down you still have not and may never forgive them. You don't have to live with them if it's makes you uncomfortable, you don't need to visit them either.
Re: Trip to pakistan soon,
You are defo right... deep down I haven't... But I miss my elders so much... The way they used to speak about their city, that is why I want to go.. Maybe il go, run around the streets, but itl be hard as its in the family compound lol! So they will see me... May just go for the day and say a quick hello and leave.
Re: Trip to pakistan soon,
I agree with Gina, don't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Sounds like because of their previous history with you, you don't seem to feel very welcome there either. I'm sorry these relatives stole from you, and treated you unfairly, but have they changed at all?
If you really want to, go inside for a quick hello.
Re: Trip to pakistan soon,
I know how you feel. We have some relatives whom I feel cheated on us, still my parents have contact with them, they go there and stay with them, are one good terms, but I cannot forget about it. When it was time of my marriage, they created a lot of fuss, now when I go there to visit relatives, they all live in the same area, I say my salams but I dont go to their homes. I just dont feel good with them. Can you not get some hotel or go to some other relatives place during your visit.
Re: Trip to pakistan soon,
I think there is a lot of... er... 'unjustly' feeling because I did not marry one of their sons and bring him to England so to say. Also, I refuse to send money (they don't need it) or visa sponsor... So maybe this is why they hate me LOL! But yeh, there is only one place I can stay, I wont stay longer than a night... and Il say a quick hello and leave. I just want to see the ancestral home and surroundings, which is where all the, excuse my French, but where all the *******s live.
Re: Trip to pakistan soon,
I feel for you and I know what you’re going through. I lost my mother when I was very young too … she left us all her jewelry which we got after getting my fathers lawyers involved (my parents were divorced and the jewelry were at some relatives of moms place). My mom had a huge china collection, she had expensive clothing and beautiful home decor pieces which just magically disappeared after she past away. I know who these relatives were too .. I just don’t make a fuss … I don’t want to bring up old stuff anymore .. what’s gone is gone. Even though I know my mom would want me to have her things, she’s gone now and so are the things that belonged to her 
About relatives not calling and all .. I’ve been through that too! NO ONE from my moms side of the family ever called me or my siblingonce my mom passed. They never even checked on us to see if we were alive and healthy (with the exception of my mamoo). And now since I married someone on my moms side of the family (a miracle we even met LOL) random aunty’s (moms cousins etc) always love to complain how I never call them to ask their haal chaal 
yeah right, like I even care!!! 10 years of not even asking if we were fine and you want us to start calling you and acting like we’re the closest people. And don’t get me started on how they love to rub it in me how them and my mom were the best of friends and were like sisters 
Just shoot me aunty ji.
rant over.
Re: Trip to pakistan soon,
I do not know if they have changed, they do say come, as many of our elders have died and I couldn't attend funerals. I shud go atleast to their graves.
Re: Trip to pakistan soon,
I think there is a lot of... er... 'unjustly' feeling because I did not marry one of their sons and bring him to England so to say. Also, I refuse to send money (they don't need it) or visa sponsor... So maybe this is why they hate me LOL! But yeh, there is only one place I can stay, I wont stay longer than a night... and Il say a quick hello and leave. I just want to see the ancestral home and surroundings, which is where all the, excuse my French, but where all the *******s live.
they also wanted me to marry the son, sponsor him.. after all they did, I would never have done it. Now my best revenge is that I ignore them and that irks them... haha but as you, I too go there to visit relatives, but I dont stay more than 2 nights there and that only at my cousin with whom I get along with. Just go but dont be too kind and nice, be polite and reserve, dont talk of the past, just visit and come back without expectations.
Re: Trip to pakistan soon,
lol - love this reply. It is strange, how rellies do not remember you for a long time but when you see them they act like you are all best buddies..