So the guy I am engaged too is Sunni and I used to be an Ismaili a long time ago. I have been agnostic for a while-- I know there is a God and only 1 God but idk what religion to follow. I have been researching about Islam and have been considering converting but I still have several questions that I wanted answered first. I was learning how to pray and reading the Quran. Well my MIL is veryyyyyy extremely religious and she has sort of been pushing me into converting. My SIL invited me to her house so she could teach me how to pray and answer any questions that I have. I said just call me when u want me to come over and I will because I am genuinely interested. But she never did.
Anyways, so about one weeks ago, my MIL asked me to come to the Mosque with them. I go to a different Mosque (sometimes) than them but I decided to go with them to get to know them better. They go to a mosque where there are only 20-30 people. So we prayed and after prayer, my MIL was talking to some elderly lady. I was chatting with my SIL. The elderly lady walked over, sat near me and my SIL, and asked me if I had done waddu. I was shocked and I told her yes. I started wondering if I smelled funny or what. The lady walked away and came back in like 5 seconds and told me that they were all going to pray to Allah that I convert soon. She asked me and everyone to follow her. We did. Then she made me repeat some words after her… which I was reluctant to do but I just followed her lead as everyone was repeating the same thing after her. After that everyone started hugging me and congratulated me. I was so confused as to what was going on. Later, I found out that I had been converted.
As I got in my car to drive back home, I started crying and I just could not stop.
I wanted to convert but not like this. I was not sure if I was a Muslim or Not… I was confused as to why such deception would be used to convert me. Now, I do not know how to pray. I have soooo many questions that are still unanswered. I have a dog and I read that if u have a dog in ur house.. then ur namaaz does not get kabool. So I am just lost and frustrated. I really think that my MIL planned all of this but I do not want to hold anything against her. I would have converted sooner or later but now I am just lost.
Also, after that I went back to pray with them 3 times and everyone points towards me and says “isne islam qabool karliya” which makes me feel awkward because I do not like being the center of attention and also because the decission was sort of made for me.
Soooo my question is… What am I? Will I get gunnah for not praying since I dont know how too? And was it wrong for them to trick me like that? Did they trick me or is that normally how things are done? Plzz helpp
Plus now my MIL and SIL keep pointing out everything that I am doing wrong.. first they said stuff about me wearing a bindia. Then, they complained about my nail polish, then makeup, and now they are asking if straingtening my hair or blow drying it would mess up my brain. ANd I dont c y they get to tell me wht to fix when they do not do hijaab and do their eyebrows and whatnot. I thought that was considered wrong too so y cant they look at themselves before trying to change me. They knew how I liked to dress up before they brought the rishta for me and now an attempt to assimilate me is on.
Arghh sorry for rambling. I have been thinking about starting this thread to get everybody’s opinions but I had so finals going on so I couldnt. SO I am just letting it all out
Soooo my question is... What am I?
seems you are at a genuine crossroad. you have been agnostic, then believe in god but cried after your mosque (conversion) visit
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Will I get gunnah for not praying since I dont know how too?
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yes, but Allah SWT is merciful. you can learn to pray online, youtube hanafi namaz/salat. also find a website with namaz transliterated, memorize the words one para at a time. learn 2 rakat first then four rakat is easy. if you have any problems within this regard ask here, everyone would be glad to help
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And was it wrong for them to trick me like that? Did they trick me or is that normally how things are done? Plzz helpp
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they want the best for you, they believe so they want you to believe. its unimaginable to many people to not have belief
First question first. Do you want to convert ? or better yet have you accepted your conversion ? If you did not accept your conversion from the bottom of your heart then this tricked conversion has no meaning.
First question first. Do you want to convert ? or better yet have you accepted your conversion ? If you did not accept your conversion from the bottom of your heart then this tricked conversion has no meaning.
I wanted to convert after knowing more... now I am just lost because everytime I do something I have to try to figure out if it is right or wrong...
had an issua about wearing bindiya.. MIL says is Gunnah.
Then SIL talked about wearing nail polish... some scholars say it is allowed... but everytime I try to explain my point of veiw.. I feel like my MIL just talks a bit louder and not listen to wht I am talking about... I truly do LOVEEE wearing nail polish.. in the past 5 years, there has not been a time when I did not have nail polish on. So, I asked y it was so wrong and my SIL said cuz it has alcohol thats why. So I found nail polish without alcohol and wore it and told them tht it did not contain alcohol. So, my other SIL said it was because of waddu.. water doesnt get under it. SO... I found a water permeable nail polish so it should be allowed and I told them about it. Then instead of being happy that I had found the happy medium... my MIL said "just take it off when u come to masjid and wear it all the other time. ISlam is not hard". I did not want to do baat ka batangar so I didnt ask y. But I will wear my water permeable nail polish when it arrives in mail. I dont care what she says.
MY SILs are soooo awesome but my MIL somehow just tries to impose her views on me.
So, ya. I wanted to convert but now I feel a bit cheated. I try to accept my conversion but I am a bit uncomfortable telling people about it. Like when my friends and family ask how I converted all I can say is that I dont know.
seems you are at a genuine crossroad. you have been agnostic, then believe in god but cried after your mosque (conversion) visit
yes, but Allah SWT is merciful. you can learn to pray online, youtube hanafi namaz/salat. also find a website with namaz transliterated, memorize the words one para at a time. learn 2 rakat first then four rakat is easy. if you have any problems within this regard ask here, everyone would be glad to help
they want the best for you, they believe so they want you to believe. its unimaginable to many people to not have belief
If you were tricked.....thats their fault (if they believed they you wanted to...and then went ahead..may be they are not aware of your inner conflicts as yet.....if they know they are wrong...and not doing anything noble)..
what are you?? you are at cross roads as someone said......if you do what they tell you to.....you will be doing that 'culturally' and out of 'courtesy'.....untill and unless you get your answers.....and feel like converting......any acts you do will not have any religious significance because you didn't intend to do those for the sake of religion.......
and Nailpolish n stuff.....thats just petty issues......when its about your religion......you have to be honest with yourself and not base decisions on these petty issues.....
A. Simply by saying with conviction, “**La ilaha illa Allah, Muhammadur rasoolu Allah,” **one converts to Islam and becomes a Muslim. This saying means “**There is no true god (diety) but God (Allah), and Muhammad is the Messenger (Prophet) of God (Allah).” **The first part, “There is no true god but God (Allah)” means that none has the right to be worshipped but God (Allah) alone, and that God has neither partner nor son. To be Muslim, one should also:
Believe that the Holy Qur’an is the literal word of God, revealed by Him.
Believe that the Day of Judgment (the Day of Ressurrection) is true and will come, as God Promised in the Qur’an
Accept Islam as his or her religion.
Not worship anything nor anyone except God.
The Prophet Muhammad said: God is more joyful at the repentance of someone when he turns to Him in repentance than one of you would be if he were riding his camel in the wilderness, and it runs away from him, carrying his food and drink, so that he loses all hoep of getting it back. He comes to a tree and lies down in its shade (awaiting death), for he has lost all hope of dingind his camel. Then, while he is in that state (of desperation), suddenly it is there before him! So heseizes its halter and cries out from the depth of joy: “O God, You are my servant and I am Your Lord!” His mistake comes from intensity of his joy. Narrated in Sahi Muslim 2747 and Sahih Bukhari 6309].
So, ya. I wanted to convert but now I feel a bit cheated. I try to accept my conversion but I am a bit uncomfortable telling people about it. Like when my friends and family ask how I converted all I can say is that I dont know.
So welcome to Islam. From the day one when our Holy Prophet(SAW) left this world a lot of confusion started to enter because of interpretation of religions by people of varying wisdom , logic , culture , personal likes and dislikes and what not. You find your MIL very imposing , that is nothing. Pretty soon you will find complete strangers will try to impose their view , beliefs and interpretation on you. People tell me stories of how they went to a Majid to offer their prayer and someone put a lice and germ infested straw hat on their head mid namaz because their view is that you cannot offer your namaz without a topi. I guy told me that he was doing his after namaz tasbeeh using both his hands to keep count and this other guy who was paying more attention to ebadat of other folks than his own told him heed need to use just one hand otherwise his ebadaat will not be accepted because it is sunnah to use just one hand for doing your after namaz tasbeeh.
Now since you have accepted Islam be steadfast and do not let these intricacies bog you down.
Islam is really simple if you want to keep it simple and it becomes complicated if you listen to others. Just listen to your heart.
You seem to my kind of Muslim. You do not take everything on the face of it. I question everything and try to find the answer which satisfy my curiosity , my logic and my wisdom. I do not accept everything blindly as told to me by some Muslims or Non Muslims. Yes I do accept my faith blindly as there is no logic in faith.
lol.. yaa I dont like other peopel interfering or pushing me into believeing wht they believe.. I am trying to pray regularly but I feel discouraged because I can not read arabic and it is hard to memorize it... but practice makes perfect. I have not been putting too much makeup on.. and my skin feels so much better. I am wearing more modest clothing and feel a little wierd and dressed down but am saving alot of my precious time rather than spending 30 minutes daily in deciding what to wear. Also, I feel this urge to wear hijab (I am not hijabi.. yet)... like to trips to the grocery store I started wearing hijab.. I feel like wearing it to college but I will start probably this semester.. I do not like attention on myself and I do not want too many people to ask questions.
However, I do not want to give up nailpolish.. its been a week since I saw color on my nails.. my nails look better though because before they were stained due to not regularly wearing base coat.. now they are back to their natural color.. I do not really care anymore about nailpolish on my nails.. but I truly loveeeee my feet (i think they are one of my best features) and I just hateeee not seeing polish on them.. I know it seems like a petty issue but it really is a big deal to me...
Idk... Allah knows best. I just hope I dont go to hell for wearing nailpolish.. as I ordered the water permeable kind from online... my intensions are in the right place... but I know my MIl will make an issue when i start wearing the halaal nailpolish again
So welcome to Islam. From the day one when our Holy Prophet(SAW) left this world a lot of confusion started to enter because of interpretation of religions by people of varying wisdom , logic , culture , personal likes and dislikes and what not. You find your MIL very imposing , that is nothing. Pretty soon you will find complete strangers will try to impose their view , beliefs and interpretation on you. People tell me stories of how they went to a Majid to offer their prayer and someone put a lice and germ infested straw hat on their head mid namaz because their view is that you cannot offer your namaz without a topi. I guy told me that he was doing his after namaz tasbeeh using both his hands to keep count and this other guy who was paying more attention to ebadat of other folks than his own told him heed need to use just one hand otherwise his ebadaat will not be accepted because it is sunnah to use just one hand for doing your after namaz tasbeeh.
Now since you have accepted Islam be steadfast and do not let these intricacies bog you down.
Islam is really simple if you want to keep it simple and it becomes complicated if you listen to others. Just listen to your heart.
You seem to my kind of Muslim. You do not take everything on the face of it. I question everything and try to find the answer which satisfy my curiosity , my logic and my wisdom. I do not accept everything blindly as told to me by some Muslims or Non Muslims. Yes I do accept my faith blindly as there is no logic in faith.
If you were tricked.....thats their fault (if they believed they you wanted to...and then went ahead..may be they are not aware of your inner conflicts as yet.....if they know they are wrong...and not doing anything noble)..
what are you?? you are at cross roads as someone said......if you do what they tell you to.....you will be doing that 'culturally' and out of 'courtesy'.....untill and unless you get your answers.....and feel like converting......any acts you do will not have any religious significance because you didn't intend to do those for the sake of religion.......
and Nailpolish n stuff.....thats just petty issues......when its about your religion......you have to be honest with yourself and not base decisions on these petty issues.....
It is a big deal to me... read my post to mirch for more about teh issue...
I am being honest.. but as I did not know alot about Islam before converting and I still had questions... I just like to understand WHY certain things are teh way they are... I can not just listen to them without knowing all the details and stuff
The first thing is that if you are not 100% and you were not explained what obligations there are when accepting Islam then you have not taken Shahadah.
Speak to the local imam about this whole issue after speaking about it with your husband.
The time to embrace Islam is when you are ready, to have half hearted conversion is a recipe for problems.
In the past people were held back from converting, and today for some reason people think it is so important for people to convert (which it is) that they end up doing it by back door methods.
It is better for a person to learn about Islam and practice Islam properly before taking Shahadah. There are some people who are praying and doing all of the required things and still have not taken Shahadah.
Becoming a Muslim and taking the Shahadah are two different things. To become a Muslim you need to recognise it in the heart, by taking the Shahadah you are declaring this fact to others and provides you a place in the ummah - Islamic siblinghood. After Shahadah Muslims have rights over you and you have rights over them which are above and beyond your basic rights to each other as humans, neighbours, etc.
For sure there will probably come a time when you are the one telling your SIL and MIL what they should or should not be doing so don't mind them - they are probably doing it out of eagerness. However you case stands ... Trickery for conversion is no conversion at all. Speak to your hubby and speak with your local Imam and explain the problem. Then when you get more confirmation about what I have said explain to your MIL that your conversion process was not valid and needs to be done again ... this time when you want to do it.
May Allah (SWT) turn your heart soon. Ameen.
(P.S. There is nothing wrong to pray for you to become a Muslim, it shows that the members of the Ummah want you to belong)
I think you should take a breather...really. There is so much going on around you and its confusing you.
First things first...the tricked conversion. It was wrong of your MIL to do it. She didnt ask, she didnt notify, didnt even bother to explain what was happening...it was plain wrong.
If I was in your shoes...I would ignore it and continue on with my journey of learning more about Islam. You will find so many people that will criticize you for being this way, that way and being every which way. There are many many many out there that are exactly like your MIL. Understand that this is desi culture and culture does NOT mean Islam. Differentiate between culture and religion and you will be fine. Dont take everything they say so literally.
Listen to everything, keep your mouth shut and do what you need to do to make Islam the religion for you. Research, ask questions but dont ask people who will give you confusing answers, talk to people who welcome your questions (like this forum), etc. Do not let this pettiness get in your way of having a good life with your fiance, being a good Muslim and living your life the way you want. If I were you, I would get a good teacher and start learning from someone who can give you knowledge.
Good luck mizsani...I hope things work out for the best! :)
I’m no scholar nor a preacher but a photographer lol. It seems from this whole post that Mizsani, you have been converted against your own will (which I would take as not a real conversion); good or bad I really don’t know but sure research it and embrace it if you like. This is the perfect example of ‘Only God can judge you’ as you said you do believe in a God. I feel like in general people tend to mix a lot with religion where some things are about intention. If your wearing your nail polish and it has alcohol in it and your not a “muslim” then sure why not and if you are a “muslim” and your wearing nail polish that is water permeable then sure why not, as long as your intention is not to drink your alcoholic nail polish to get drunk. Reading from the posts above, I would have to agree with anyone who said listen and learn from the right people not a stereotypical MIL/SIL/FIL(Not yours but generally speaking). You are married to one person and not the whole family and if you are not doing anything wrong then listen from one ear and take out from the other or just tell them you don’t understand the language they speak. If anyones intention was to convert one to a certain religion because its Sawaab and now give them bragging rights I think that would be pretty selfish knowing that the you are not even sure about something. Its just like walking into Church, because everyone is allowed and tadaaaa you read a Christian prayer on gunpoint(not literally) and your Christian today. I think what you have right now is a like one of those 14 day trial memberships you get at the gym with Islam and InshAllah if you choose to embrace it maybe you can one day have that golden membership and hopefully not a surprise membership =)
Do what you feel is right as you and only you are answerable to God. You need to be a good person to have good intentions to be a pure human being and I think that is probably the right way to go into embracing anything you want; may it be little things like nail polish(Halal type).
said: God is more joyful at the repentance of someone when he turns to Him in repentance than one of you would be if he were riding his camel in the wilderness, and it runs away from him, carrying his food and drink, so that he loses all hoep of getting it back. He comes to a tree and lies down in its shade (awaiting death), for he has lost all hope of dingind his camel. Then, while he is in that state (of desperation), suddenly it is there before him! So heseizes its halter and cries out from the depth of joy: “O God, You are my servant and I am Your Lord!” His mistake comes from intensity of his joy. Narrated in Sahi Muslim 2747 and Sahih Bukhari 6309].